Use These Secrets for a Happy New Year

Posted on January 2, 2019 by — 6 Comments ↓

Common Sense = a Happy New Year

@BethTerry.com 2019 — The Anthem Christmas Tree looks like it’s made of Fireworks!

The old man sat on a bench near the Christmas tree a few days after Christmas. It was apparent he played Santa in one of the big Metro stores nearby. He had an all-knowing look, kind eyes, the requisite white beard, and a gentle laugh that I swore sounded a bit like, “Ho Ho Ho.”

I was taking a break from paperwork and sat in a welcome patch of sun breaking through the clouds. It was colder than usual in the desert, and I tightened my coat around me. He seemed oblivious to the chill in the air.

We sat silently near each other after the cursory greeting of strangers. Startling me out of my reverie, he turned to me, “It’s going to all work out,” he said softly. I laughed and shrugged it off.

“What? What’s going to work out?”

“Whatever is wrinkling that brow of yours.”

I just nodded and looked at the pavement, fighting off tears.

It had been a year since my divorce. I escaped to Phoenix afterwards. New to the desert, I was still trying to find my way in a new life. That elusive concept of “Life Purpose” would peek out from behind bushes and flit away just as I thought I had it. It’s amazing how quickly things can disintegrate, even when we think we have life all figured out. My late father was fond of saying, “Honey, life just isn’t a straight line. Enjoy all your gifts and abundance while you have them. You never know when they will disappear. No guarantees, sweetie. No guarantees.”

The old man continued, “You know all of this. But it looks like you need to hear it again.”

I looked at him and smiled.

You can decide to make any day your “New Year”

“This is your new year. Even if it were the dead of summer, you can decide to make any day your ‘New Year.’ You know that. You also know the five secrets to making it a good new year…”

“I do?” I was now regretting starting this conversation. I grew up as a minister’s kid. Living in my father’s house was like living in a sermon. Every single day. I chuckled to myself and decided to honor this nice man by listening to him.

“Yes. Of course you do. In fact, you probably told all of this to your kids and to anyone else who would listen. So here goes:

“One: Forgive everybody.”

I nodded, “Yeah. I actually wrote that in one of my books.”

He laughed, “I know.”

“How do you…. Oh never mind…”

The old man continued, counting on his fingers:

“Two: Trust and Love yourself,

“Three: Remember to detach,

“Four: Live in Grace,

“Five: Express Gratitude Every Day.”

He slapped his thighs and chuckled. Then he stood up and walked away. Just like that. No further explanation. He was right, I knew this. And so do you. But at the beginning of any New Year, it’s good to remember the simple truths that make Life worth living.

Remember the simple truths

Here are my thoughts on his five secrets…

Forgive everybody. Forgive your self first. Forgive your parents. Forgive clients who didn’t hire you, and the ones who did. Forgive your kids. Forgive your neighbors. Just let it go. Don’t waste your life holding on to grudges and past insults. Most people aren’t cruel, they’re just clueless. Or they’re distracted and not paying all that much attention to you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you let them off the hook. It just means you don’t carry all that weight around with you. How can you move forward dragging the weight of the world? You can’t.

Trust and Love yourself. This should be self-explanatory, but it’s not always easy to do. Social media has made us question our selves and our sanity. Comparing ourselves to online fiction posted by most people makes it hard to trust our own judgment. Here’s a general rule you can follow on social media – It’s All PhotoShopped! So much of what is printed on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all the rest is just plain fake. No one looks as good as their Instagram photos. No one had THAT much fun on their vacation. Don’t compare. Look in the mirror and love your imperfect, wacko, not always sane self! Trust your instincts. Your ‘gut’ knows more than you realize.

Take a Deep Breath and DETACH

Remember to Detach. Step back from social media, step away from big crowds for a bit. Let go of relatives who make you crazy (love them from afar!) Forget trying to control other people. BREATHE. The reason you didn’t get my “required” New Years post is I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of all the noise. I was practicing what I preach. Hopefully today you are back to work and able to take a few minutes to read something uplifting!

Live in Grace. It is a natural human thing to be flawed. We are not ever going to be perfect and we shouldn’t try to be. Start by extending grace to yourself. Look at your flaws and see which ones are actually charming, which ones are NBD (no big deal), and which ones can be tweaked slightly to keep you out of trouble. Be grateful for those things that make you unique. Don’t try to model yourself after other people. You don’t know their challenges or their pain. And while you’re at it, extend Grace to others. See # 1.

Express Gratitude Every Day. If you’ve known me for more than a millisecond, you know I say this a lot. It’s one of the things that keeps me from going crazy. When everything seems like it’s falling apart, I stop and look around. I name 10 things I’m grateful for, even if it’s something as mundane as, Thank you ADOT for paved roads. I’m thankful for indoor plumbing (when I was a kid, I stayed on a farm that didn’t have this. I get it!) I’m grateful for my sweet little PugWawa sleeping under my desk. And, most importantly, Thank you God for helping me figure out the next steps in my life!

Happy New Year, @bethterry.com — **Happy New Year!!**

I’ve said a lot of this before. I’m just reminding you to take care of yourself! You deserve to have a wonderful 2019. Detach from 2018. Let it go. Learn the lessons and celebrate the blessings. And write to me to let me know how you’re doing!

Blessings and Happy New Year!

OH – and a huge PS – Listen to me tomorrow (Thursday, January 3) at Noon MST on National Business Radio.

@2019 Beth Terry Events, BethTerry.com

New Blog Post from EverybodysLost

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Check out our latest post from EverybodysLost.com!

How many?

How many?

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

How Many will it take?

“How many of these?” I was helping a friend with her Holiday store. Peering over the counter I saw a tiny girl, around 5 years old. Her mom was down the aisle shopping for ornaments. The girl held out coins in one hand and clutched small bells in the other.

“How many of these do I give you for these?” She insisted again, shoving the coins towards me.

“Well, if you give me that shiny penny, one of those quarters, and two of those dimes, I think that will be enough,” I pointed to each coin as I said it.

It struck me in that moment how strange and silly our money system is. “Trade me these shiny pieces of metal for these pieces of metal that make noise.” And how easily we accept the contract without giving it much thought.

You are a fast food worker, so we will give you one thousand two hundred of those pennies for every hour you show up to work. You are able to kick a football 50 yards down a grass field? We will give you three billion, two hundred million pennies for 3 years, whether or not you show up to work.

Years ago my new 5 year-old stepdaughter asked me a “How Many?” question. Puzzling over my age, she asked in typical little kid language, “How many Christmases did you had till now?” When I told her, she followed up with, “Well, how many Christmases do you get?”

That stopped me for a moment. It’s a good question. Each Christmas since I’ve wondered, “How many more of these will I get?” Have I celebrated the seasons with enough grace and gratitude? With enough humility and joy at the passing of time and the daily gifts of living in a free country?

How many is an important question.

As a friend loves to point out – “Each of us has a number for everything important in our life.”

I think he means we each have a limit or an expectation. A number in our heads of how many times we will put up with bad behavior. How many times will we stuff our feelings about something that bugs us? How many times will we watch injustice and finally do something about it? How many pounds will we weigh before we decide maybe pushing away from the table is a good exercise routine for the new year? How many cigarettes is too many? How many drinks is too many? And then there’s the money question. How many pennies is “enough” for you to be motivated?

So, what’s your “number?” Why?

It’s a sign of maturity when we’re able to stop playing games and simply do what needs to be done so we can spend a little more time enjoying our lives and our loved ones.

How many “Gratitudes” will it take for you to feel good today?

Maybe the secret to a happy life is to know why your How Many answers are what they are, and then take steps to do something about it.

So, “How many more Christmases will YOU Get?”

Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy Festivus!

Merry Christmas!

Blessings,

—–> BIG PS ——-> LISTEN IN TODAY (DECEMBER 20) at 12:12 PM AZ time to hear Beth on the Radio – Dial in online to www.NBRFM.com/studio2

Thanks Giving and Receiving

Posted on November 21, 2018 by — No Comments ↓

Are you good at Receiving Thanks?

Today I thanked several people for their contributions to my life. The answers?

“Oh, it was nothing…”
“No big deal.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”

I want to shake them and remind them that it’s a ripoff to not accept someone’s compliment or thanks. Let me be grateful for you, Dangit!

Here’s a thought… my grandma used to say, “Accepting someone’s gratitude with grace is the 11th commandment.”

So when someone compliments you, thanks you, appreciates you, and acknowledges the joy and blessing you are in their life… Just Say, “You’re Welcome!”

The human condition is such that we need to practice day-to-day civilities as much as possible. There’s too much trouble in the world. Too many grumpy and thin-skinned people. Too many people who make a hobby out of being offended and annoyed. ENOUGH.

Gratitude is a two-way street. It’s healthy. It opens you up for more abundance and joy in your life. And at the end of the day it sure feels a lot better than being a grouch and a grinch all day. I recently did seminars on Life Balance in Hawaii and created a page for my attendees. I’ll share it here in the spirit of Thanksgiving, because I’m Thankful for YOU.

In keeping with the theme of gratefulness this Holiday Season, let’s start showing more gratitude for the gifts that have been bestowed upon us, and when someone acknowledges the gift we are to them, acknowledge it back.

Ok, I just needed to say all of that. I want your life to be better than you ever thought it could be.

Go enjoy your Turkey…

Thanks to SoundBible.com for the sound that sent

my Chihuahua running to the door!

Blessings,

Make Communication Easier

Posted on July 24, 2018 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

Communication is garbled and less effective in this mega-information age.

Here’s a way to fix that.

@1998-2018 Beth Terry, CSP, Communications — Frame your communications to provide context and perspective

Changing Communication Patterns Cause Confusion

Text messages might be quick, but they lack context, emotion, intent, and clarity.

Emails are often typed out on our phones, leading to shortcuts, typos, and misinterpretation.

Extensive use of social media has stunted our ability to put together meaningful communication. We find ourselves writing to the lowest common denominator and much is lost in translation.

Getting people to read more than a few hundred words is a challenge, yet that’s where the nuances and real communication can take place.

So – what can we do?

“Give people a place to put the information you’re sharing. Think of it as building a shelf in their brain to help them organize and think about what you say.” Rev. CH Terry (my dad)

A brain shelf for communication? That works. Set up a frame to help your listener hear you and think about your message. Make sure you communicate four key things:

@1989-2018 Beth Terry, CSP, Communications — Framing a conversation sets the stage for understanding communications

Tell them what you’ll tell them • Tell them • Recap it • Reinforce it

FIRST ~

Tell people the desired outcome. In a performance review, say, “I really want you to succeed in this position…” Now everything you say after that will be viewed with your intention in mind. They aren’t second-guessing you, or thinking they’re fired. “I want this company to do very well.” That’s a sentence you can use as you introduce new strategies. “I want us all to be proud of the conference we are planning.” Each of these set the stage for success.

SECOND ~

The old “what’s in it for me?” rule always applies. ALWAYS. Even selfless people who don’t think they listen for this are just ignoring reality. People need motivation. “Why should I listen? Why should I do this? I have a busy life. I’m tired from work. I have concerns at home. WHY Do I care?”

THIRD ~

Give an overview of next steps. Don’t go into all the details. “Today we’ll review several things we’d like to help you with.” “Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page on logistics for the conference.” Like that. Don’t launch into the logistics. Just tell them what you’re about to do.

FOURTH ~

Tell them why you are doing this. The “why” may or may not be identical to the Desired End Result. “I want you to succeed here.” “I want you to live long enough to see your grandchildren graduate from college!” (What I said to my teenager who was about to get a Driver’s License!**) Make this a motivational, inspirational sentence that leads them into the conversation at hand.

Then go into your carefully thought-out, brilliant, persuasive, organized talk.

For more information on Communication Strategies, contact me and we’ll talk. I have more than 20 different presentations on this topic that is near and dear to my heart!

Blessings,

Beth

** If you would like a copy of the Drivers License Agreement I wrote for my teenagers, please contact me and I’ll happily send it to you for free!

Life Balance is a Choice

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Work and Life Not Balanced? Make a Choice

©2018 Beth Terry, CSP Balance is a Choice — Balance comes from good choices

It’s nuts out there. Nothing seems to be in balance. You probably noticed. The Economy’s improving: that’s good. Fuel prices going up: not good. Social Media a little too powerful and nosy: not good. Politics: more divisive than ever – bad. Immigration: conflicting information – bad. Healthcare, ARRRRGH!

How do you stay in balance in the midst of this? How do you cope with the fire hose of information and disinformation? How do you know what’s true? I find myself longing for a flight back to my teens when I just had to worry about mean girls, cute boys, and homework. That’s an oasis I’ll never get to revisit.

Be responsible for finding your own balance in the midst of craziness.

What do we do? How do we find that elusive work and life balance? How do we cope? How do we do more than cope? There has to be a silver lining, a rainbow, somewhere in the middle of this storm.

I have wrestled with this storm, and I have good news. As cliché as it may sound – difficult times are opportunities for growth. Dark, stressful times in life force us to look hard at previous choices and make better ones. They open doors for learning and refining who we are and how we live. Maybe we got too far out on a limb. As long as we’re still alive, there’s time to inch back towards the center and choose better.

No matter what, choose to make the next choice a good one

Here’s the deal, no matter how stressed and crazy things feel, decide your next choice will be good. Increments work. One choice at a time. One breath at a time. Yep, you screwed up in the past. OH WELL! Breathe.

Ask this: What can I do right now, right here, to make things a tiny bit better? What can I choose to do, to think, to read? Who can I choose to call? What step can I take that will move me a little closer being better balanced?

Choose. That’s the key word. What’s important? What can you learn? Where can you pull in a little? Where can you put energies where they matter most? Put down the phone. Stop checking Facebook every two seconds. Go outside. Enjoy the magnificent view, even if that means looking up at the sky. For one minute focus on breathing.

Choosing means NOT choosing something else.

Once we choose this we are not choosing that. If we choose to be financially healthier, we are choosing not to spend money on things that don’t matter. If we choose to be physically healthier, we choose not to spend too much time as a couch potato or eating foods that are bad.

Choice is an interesting thing. If it’s forced, or if our commitment is half-baked, it probably won’t work. But when we commit with all our energy to that choice, magic happens.

In order to find life balance, think of one or two small changes that need to happen in your life. Focus your energy and do what it takes to make that happen. One step at a time. Don’t go overboard and try to change your entire life all at once. Your head might explode. Just a small change here, a small choice there: 10% more exercise today. One less cup of coffee. Pack your lunch three times this week. Like that.

Balance in life comes one choice after another. If you think you have to do a huge thing, you’ll become overwhelmed and may not have the energy or willpower to see it through. There’s nothing like small successes to feed big ones.

Look, you’ll make it through this, just like you made it through all the crazy times in your life up to now. You will survive the same way: one breath and one step at a time.

Stay happy and healthy!

Beth

Other Posts on this topic: Pay Attention! How to Adult Pt 3 Gratitude

Life Balance is a Choice

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Work and Life Not Balanced? Make a Choice

Be responsible for finding your own balance in the midst of craziness.

What do we do? How do we find that elusive work and life balance? How do we cope? How do we do more than cope? There has to be a silver lining, a rainbow, somewhere in the middle of this storm.

No matter what, choose to make the next choice a good one

Choosing means NOT choosing something else.

Choice is an interesting thing. If it’s forced, or if our commitment is half-baked, it probably won’t work. But when we commit with all our energy to that choice, magic happens.

Look, you’ll make it through this, just like you made it through all the crazy times in your life up to now. You will survive the same way: one breath and one step at a time.

Stay happy and healthy!

Beth

Other Posts on this topic: Pay Attention! How to Adult Pt 3 Gratitude

Learn 2 New Things -Teach ESL in 2018

Posted on June 8, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

This year I’m training to be an ESL Teacher!

I am 12 hours away from being certified to Teach ESL through the ITA – International TEFL Academy! If you want to join me in this great endeavor, contact Danielle Lupo here

Beth ESL Teacher, ©2018 Beth Terry, CSP — Beth Teaches on numerous platforms and stages, now including ESL!

Why would I choose to Teach ESL when my plate is full with other speaking engagements, writing, raising my PugWawa and traveling? Because Literacy matters, that’s why. There are many different ways to share your knowledge. I’ve told you before, Teachers change lives!

Reading and Literacy improve a person’s chances to be successful in the world. It lowers the chances of poverty, delinquency in teens, and depression. When you can open a book and comprehend what you are reading, you learn about far-flung places, you learn to put your life in perspective, you learn about Critical Thinking, you aren’t as easily fooled or manipulated. Everyone Wins with a rising tide of literacy.

Learn Two New Things – this time Teach ESL

I have often written about my wonderful College Professor who encouraged us all to keep learning. “Learn two new things every year, and one should scare you!” was his mantra. It keeps you alive and dynamic. It keeps you from losing your mind in the same-same numbness caused by being in a rut.

I know that a lifetime of learning and reading has kept me interested and (some say) interesting. It has been shown thousands of times that one’s life is enhanced and prolonged when learning and reading are part of the daily ritual.

I was reminded of this last week when I lost one of my favorite people in the world. Wink Blair was a human dynamo and left us at age 97. She published a book well into her 90’s on her Grandfather, a Civil War Veteran. Her husband Richard Sutz is the CEO of The Literacy Company and author of numerous books on how to read faster and better. Both Richard and Wink have inspired me to keep learning, to keep sharing and to keep the faith that our words and deeds matter.

As we head into the hot hot hot Phoenix summer months, I urge you to take a moment to think about ways you can share your knowledge, your “mana’o” (as we say in Hawai’i) with the world. I don’t know how you feel, but I’m getting pretty tired of all the hate, all the derision and scorn, and all the media stirring up negative feelings within families and friends. Take a step back. BREATHE. Think how you can make the world a tiny bit better because you were here.

Blessings,

Beth

@2018 Beth Terry, CSP • All International Rights Reserved. If shared, please use attribution

Resilience Podcast from Australia

Posted on May 11, 2018 by — 2 Comments ↓

MORE Resilience Podcasts with Beth about parenting made easy

Take time to listen to two Resilience Podcasts about raising kids in this topsy turvy world. With so many different elements influencing your children daily, you want to be the one in charge of their influences. Don’t allow strangers to raise your kids. Be the grownup. This book has wonderful tools, helpful hints, checklists, and sage advice for any parents struggling to help their kids grow to be wonderful, accountable, responsible adults.

http://www.parentingambitiousteens.com/bethterry

Beth on Live Radio Interview – With Podcast Available Now

Beth Terry Resilience Kids — Beth’s New Book on Raising Resilient Kids

Beth Terry was interviewed live in the States and in Australia. Listen to Beth discussing her latest book, Resilience Not Included: How to help your kids bounce back

We reported this on CactusWrangler as well. Be sure to check out the PERFECT gift for moms this Mother’s Day and every day.

We have the store set up so when you order this e-book, Beth sends it to you directly, along with a couple of extras. So don’t worry that it doesn’t download right away. We’ll send it to you along with a personal note from Beth!

Here’s the store link click here

Thanks for stopping by! Please leave a comment below.

And have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

(call your mom!)

Blessings,

Belief Fuels Action

Posted on April 6, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Funny how Belief helps you find time and money!

There are always things we wish we could buy… things we think we can’t live without, but, there’s that little matter of the checkbook. Belief plays into this. If I don’t believe it matters, I’ll put it off: I’d love a new car but, eh, mine is working just fine. It doesn’t resonate as a “must have.” It’s easy for me to talk myself out of things (except, of course, new books!)

It feels like I bought everything I needed last decade. Now my mantra is, “How hard will it be to get rid of this when I don’t need it anymore?”

Then something caught my eye. I decided to add a skill to my client offerings: ESL – English as a Second Language. I believed it was worth it to sign up for a TEFL course! I’m now working to get my “Teaching English as a Foreign Language” certificate! I’m excited to learn new things and add information and options to my toolkit. The experience of being in school again and re-visiting writing and grammar principles has been exhilerating.

The difference between spending money on stuff and spending it on experience and knowledge is this: the first gives you headaches, the second gives you OPTIONS!

These days I’m more interested in buying knowledge and comfort than new stuff that will just have to be dusted, filled, fed, painted or sold on ebay later.

Information that makes my business better; books to take me on adventures; items to make travel easier – those are things I have money for. I believe in them. I believe I need them. Other’n that, meh…

Stuff is fleeting ~Experience is forever.

Things need to be dusted, cleaned, worried about, and managed. Experience can take you to the next level. Experience can help you find work later in life. It gives you perspective and a different level of joy. What are YOU looking for?

Here’s a quote to ponder next time you’re thinking about buying a new toy:

“Going to a junk yard is a sobering experience. There you can see the ultimate destination of almost everything we desire.”

Roger Von Oech

All the best on your journey as you follow your Beliefs and your Dreams!

Cheers,

Take care of yourself, we need you!