Are you creating your own obstacles by not letting go?
The cords that bind us resemble these Hyacinth roots
My Hawaiian teachers taught me how to let go of obstacles. Their wisdom still applies, perhaps even more so.
I spent the bulk of my adult years in Hawaii. It’s still the home of my heart, my family and my friends. While there, I learned how to let go of the past. I learned, “Forgive and Remember.” Release emotional pain, but don’t try and suppress or repress it. Remembering helps you to not repeat what got you in trouble in the first place. It helps you keep people at arm’s length if they harmed you.
One of my Hawaiian healers used to speak of energies we all have that become attached to other people and/or to things that have impacted us. Look at the roots in this Hyacinth plant above. It’s helpful to imagine that’s what your attachments look like. Each person you love, hate, have argued with, have been attracted to, or have worked for… all those people are attached to you in some way. All those experiences are banging around in your head, sometimes bothering you more than you want to admit. Some attachments may be a slim thread. Some may look more like a trunk line the size of your leg.
The wonderful thing I learned from my teachers in Hawaii was that I can choose which to hold onto and which to sever. I used to teach this in my seminars. I recommended imagining you have a pair of garden shears. Look at each of these attachments individually, and see yourself cutting them loose.
You can go deeper, though! In meditation the other night I had a different thought. Instead of cutting those connections, look further. I had been out in the yard pulling weeds and pulled this guy out of the ground. You can’t tell, but it’s 3 feet long!
Think of those attachments in your heart and memory as weeds that you can pull out
Obstacles need to be pulled out by the root!
And it hit me – if I cut a weed off at ground level, the roots still remain and I’ll have that weed problem again!
I made a list of all the things, situations, and people that still bothered me. I sat quietly and imagined pulling each of those attachments out by the root. The relief I felt at the end of 20 minutes of this process is indescribable!
I had been blocked and unable to finish a simple project for my upcoming webinar series. I couldn’t figure it out. Now I’m rarin’ to go and the webinars will be up and running soon.
Look, this isn’t about being all airy-fairy. This is a healthy psychological tool to release things that block you so you can go forward and do what you were meant to do in this world. It’s also a reminder from someone who has always been a self-motivator that everyone needs healing and clearing of blockades from time to time.
Don’t you have your mechanic flush your car radiator? Do you clean your gutters and clear the path in front of your home when it snows? This is no different.
Flush your brain. Clean the rain gutters in your head. Clear the path in your heart. Try it and let me know how it works! Spring is as good a time as any to do a little Emotional Spring Cleaning!
Good luck and Happy Spring!
Blessings,
@ 2021 Beth Terry Events • Please share with friends • Ask about a Zoom-inar for you or a room full of your friends and colleagues!
The Anthem Christmas Tree looks like it’s made of Fireworks!
The old man sat on a bench near the Christmas tree a few days after Christmas. It was apparent he played Santa in one of the big Metro stores nearby. He had an all-knowing look, kind eyes, the requisite white beard, and a gentle laugh that I swore sounded a bit like, “Ho Ho Ho.”
I was taking a break from paperwork and sat in a welcome patch of sun breaking through the clouds. It was colder than usual in the desert, and I tightened my coat around me. He seemed oblivious to the chill in the air.
We sat silently near each other after the cursory greeting of strangers. Startling me out of my reverie, he turned to me, “It’s going to all work out,” he said softly. I laughed and shrugged it off.
“What? What’s going to work out?”
“Whatever is wrinkling that brow of yours.”
I just nodded and looked at the pavement, fighting off tears.
It had been a year since my divorce. I escaped to Phoenix afterwards. New to the desert, I was still trying to find my way in a new life. That elusive concept of “Life Purpose” would peek out from behind bushes and flit away just as I thought I had it. It’s amazing how quickly things can disintegrate, even when we think we have life all figured out. My late father was fond of saying, “Honey, life just isn’t a straight line. Enjoy all your gifts and abundance while you have them. You never know when they will disappear. No guarantees, sweetie. No guarantees.”
The old man continued, “You know all of this. But it looks like you need to hear it again.”
I looked at him and smiled.
You can decide to make any day your “New Year”
“This is your new year. Even if it were the dead of summer, you can decide to make any day your ‘New Year.’ You know that. You also know the five secrets to making it a good new year…”
“I do?” I was now regretting starting this conversation. I grew up as a minister’s kid. Living in my father’s house was like living in a sermon. Every single day. I chuckled to myself and decided to honor this nice man by listening to him.
“Yes. Of course you do. In fact, you probably told all of this to your kids and to anyone else who would listen. So here goes:
“One: Forgive everybody.”
I nodded, “Yeah. I actually wrote that in one of my books.”
He laughed, “I know.”
“How do you…. Oh never mind…”
The old man continued, counting on his fingers:
“Two: Trust and Love yourself,
“Three: Remember to detach,
“Four: Live in Grace,
“Five: Express Gratitude Every Day.”
He slapped his thighs and chuckled. Then he stood up and walked away. Just like that. No further explanation. He was right, I knew this. And so do you. But at the beginning of any New Year, it’s good to remember the simple truths that make Life worth living.
Remember the simple truths
Here are my thoughts on his five secrets…
Forgive everybody. Forgive your self first. Forgive your parents. Forgive clients who didn’t hire you, and the ones who did. Forgive your kids. Forgive your neighbors. Just let it go. Don’t waste your life holding on to grudges and past insults. Most people aren’t cruel, they’re just clueless. Or they’re distracted and not paying all that much attention to you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you let them off the hook. It just means you don’t carry all that weight around with you. How can you move forward dragging the weight of the world? You can’t.
Trust and Love yourself. This should be self-explanatory, but it’s not always easy to do. Social media has made us question our selves and our sanity. Comparing ourselves to online fiction posted by most people makes it hard to trust our own judgment. Here’s a general rule you can follow on social media – It’s All PhotoShopped! So much of what is printed on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all the rest is just plain fake. No one looks as good as their Instagram photos. No one had THAT much fun on their vacation. Don’t compare. Look in the mirror and love your imperfect, wacko, not always sane self! Trust your instincts. Your ‘gut’ knows more than you realize.
Take a Deep Breath and DETACH
Remember to Detach. Step back from social media, step away from big crowds for a bit. Let go of relatives who make you crazy (love them from afar!) Forget trying to control other people. BREATHE. The reason you didn’t get my “required” New Years post is I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of all the noise. I was practicing what I preach. Hopefully today you are back to work and able to take a few minutes to read something uplifting!
Live in Grace. It is a natural human thing to be flawed. We are not ever going to be perfect and we shouldn’t try to be. Start by extending grace to yourself. Look at your flaws and see which ones are actually charming, which ones are NBD (no big deal), and which ones can be tweaked slightly to keep you out of trouble. Be grateful for those things that make you unique. Don’t try to model yourself after other people. You don’t know their challenges or their pain. And while you’re at it, extend Grace to others. See # 1.
Express Gratitude Every Day. If you’ve known me for more than a millisecond, you know I say this a lot. It’s one of the things that keeps me from going crazy. When everything seems like it’s falling apart, I stop and look around. I name 10 things I’m grateful for, even if it’s something as mundane as, Thank you ADOT for paved roads. I’m thankful for indoor plumbing (when I was a kid, I stayed on a farm that didn’t have this. I get it!) I’m grateful for my sweet little PugWawa sleeping under my desk. And, most importantly, Thank you God for helping me figure out the next steps in my life!
Happy New Year!!
I’ve said a lot of this before. I’m just reminding you to take care of yourself! You deserve to have a wonderful 2019. Detach from 2018. Let it go. Learn the lessons and celebrate the blessings. And write to me to let me know how you’re doing!
Blessings and Happy New Year!
OH – and a huge PS – Listen to me tomorrow (Thursday, January 3) at Noon MST on National Business Radio.
