Perspective Archives ~ Beth Terry

How many?

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

How Many will it take?

“How many of these?” I was helping a friend with her Holiday store. Peering over the counter I saw a tiny girl, around 5 years old. Her mom was down the aisle shopping for ornaments. The girl held out coins in one hand and clutched small bells in the other.

“How many of these do I give you for these?” She insisted again, shoving the coins towards me.

“Well, if you give me that shiny penny, one of those quarters, and two of those dimes, I think that will be enough,” I pointed to each coin as I said it.

It struck me in that moment how strange and silly our money system is. “Trade me these shiny pieces of metal for these pieces of metal that make noise.” And how easily we accept the contract without giving it much thought.

You are a fast food worker, so we will give you one thousand two hundred of those pennies for every hour you show up to work. You are able to kick a football 50 yards down a grass field? We will give you three billion, two hundred million pennies for 3 years, whether or not you show up to work.

Years ago my new 5 year-old stepdaughter asked me a “How Many?” question. Puzzling over my age, she asked in typical little kid language, “How many Christmases did you had till now?” When I told her, she followed up with, “Well, how many Christmases do you get?”

That stopped me for a moment. It’s a good question. Each Christmas since I’ve wondered, “How many more of these will I get?” Have I celebrated the seasons with enough grace and gratitude? With enough humility and joy at the passing of time and the daily gifts of living in a free country?

How many is an important question.

As a friend loves to point out – “Each of us has a number for everything important in our life.”

I think he means we each have a limit or an expectation. A number in our heads of how many times we will put up with bad behavior. How many times will we stuff our feelings about something that bugs us? How many times will we watch injustice and finally do something about it? How many pounds will we weigh before we decide maybe pushing away from the table is a good exercise routine for the new year? How many cigarettes is too many? How many drinks is too many? And then there’s the money question. How many pennies is “enough” for you to be motivated?

So, what’s your “number?” Why?

It’s a sign of maturity when we’re able to stop playing games and simply do what needs to be done so we can spend a little more time enjoying our lives and our loved ones.

How many “Gratitudes” will it take for you to feel good today?

Maybe the secret to a happy life is to know why your How Many answers are what they are, and then take steps to do something about it.

So, “How many more Christmases will YOU Get?”

Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy Festivus!

Merry Christmas!

Blessings,

—–> BIG PS ——-> LISTEN IN TODAY (DECEMBER 20) at 12:12 PM AZ time to hear Beth on the Radio – Dial in online to www.NBRFM.com/studio2

Becoming an Adult, pt 3

Posted on October 20, 2017 by — 6 Comments ↓

Choosing Wisely is Your Job #1 Now

Part 3 of a 3 part series

Icelandic Govt PSA - Choose Wisely — This PSA from Iceland is the best “Choosing Wisely” ad on the internet (not my OC)

Part 3: Choosing Wisely as you move forward in life will keep you out of trouble and alive long enough to watch your grandkids graduate from college. See Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Remember you are the only person in your life who will be 100% affected by every single choice you make. Make good, healthy, happy choices for yourself and your future. Don’t look back on a life filled with regrets. Here’s my short list of guidelines:

~ Always choose “BEST AVAILABLE:” Whether it’s food, friends, drinks, after work parties, the workplace, buying a car and all the other choices you have in life.

~ Keep your Word, do what you say you will do: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, or promises that will undermine or harm you later. This is unfortunately often learned through experience and failure. Do your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

~ Keep your eyes on the Prize. Look to the future when making choices. Always consider unintended consequences. Remember your goals and why you are here.

~ NO is a complete sentence. You have permission to not do things! You don’t need to explain anything. The less you say, the less they have to hold onto if they are trying to manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do! If you must, try saying, “I’d love to and I can’t…” or try this, “Sure, we can do that as soon as you do this…”

Expand Your Horizons

READ! Not just on your electronic devices. There’s something wonderful in holding a hard cover book and tucking yourself away in a secret place to go on an internal adventure. Learn about foreign places, discover thoughts of ancient people, read histories and autobiographies to discover how other people have handled adversity and challenges.

Travel! Get out and see the world before you settle down. For that matter, learn to do things solo as well as with friends. Travel and a little independence will teach you about yourself. It will help you understand and appreciate other cultures and other people. Do it while you are young enough and have few things that tie you down.

You Will Survive Becoming an Adult

You will get your heart broken. You will fail at some things. You will get rejected. You will not always get what you want. OH WELL! Learn to take these in stride. They are just some of the costs of being a great spirit in a human body. God always answers prayer, and sometimes the answer is “NO!” I look back across the landscape of my life and am thankful daily for unanswered prayers, unmet expectations, and failures that changed my direction and my heart.

It’s going to be OK. Trust me. Someday you will tell this to your 18 year old!

Here’s a lesson on Choosing Wisely I tell all my audiences:

Be Good To People.

You don’t know who they are

You don’t know who they know

And

You don’t know who they might become!

Take care of yourself, kiddo. The world needs you. And we need you healthy and happy.

Blessings,

Becoming an Adult, pt 2

Posted on October 19, 2017 by Beth Terry — 1 Comment ↓

Becoming an Adult is not for sissies

Adulting, Beth Terry, 2017 — Picture is unrelated to Adulting, but it got your attention! Yes?

Yesterday we started our conversation about becoming an adult, or what Millenials call Adulting…

Who You Hang Out With Matters

Choose your friends wisely. You become who you hang out with. When you were a kid, you did the ‘celery in colored water’ experiment. If you placed cut celery into blue water, the celery turned blue. Our minds and hearts are like that celery. Without knowing, we absorb into ourselves the beliefs and ideas of those around us. Pay attention and be mindful of what you are absorbing. There are many people who do not have your best interests at heart. Be wise enough to recognize them and surround yourself with people who do. “Adulting” means taking responsibility for your surroundings.

Hold onto good friends! When you find friends you love and trust, do what you can to stay in touch! Too many times we let good friendships die from inactivity or lost communications. As a woman now in my 60’s I can count many times when I needed my girlfriends, and was so grateful I had kept them in my life. One of my best friends is a woman I met when we were awkward 13 year-olds complete with braces, gangly limbs, angst-filled poetry and crushes on all the wrong boys. We’ve seen each other through many of life’s hard times and great adventures. Adulting is hard if you try and go it alone.

Your Integrity and Your Soul are more important than Money. Care for your soul. Work to keep your integrity and ethics intact. It can be challenging in a money-oriented world. You will be tempted. Focus on the long game. Focus on your bigger vision. Keep your eyes on your higher purpose and on your future. Adulting means not selling your soul for things or status – both of these will fade in time. Hold on to those things that no one can take away.

Adulting means becoming an Individual

Remember who you are. You are a unique person with tremendous gifts to share with a world who needs you. Don’t forget that truth in the race to be “one of the crowd.” That crowd you currently run with will be long gone in a few years. People you work with, classmates, neighbors, and that “popular guy” are all on their own journey. You will only keep a small number of those people in your life. Don’t make decisions today with only their opinions and needs in mind.

To be continued tomorrow… Adulting Pt 3

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Blessings,

Becoming an Adult, pt 2

Posted on October 19, 2017 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

Becoming an Adult is not for sissies

Yesterday we started our conversation about becoming an adult, or what Millenials call Adulting…

Who You Hang Out With Matters

Choose your friends wisely. You become who you hang out with. When you were a kid, you did the ‘celery in colored water’ experiment. If you placed cut celery into blue water, the celery turned blue. Our minds and hearts are like that celery. Without knowing, we absorb into ourselves the beliefs and ideas of those around us. Pay attention and be mindful of what you are absorbing. There are many people who do not have your best interests at heart. Be wise enough to recognize them and surround yourself with people who do. “Adulting” means taking responsibility for your surroundings.

Hold onto good friends! When you find friends you love and trust, do what you can to stay in touch! Too many times we let good friendships die from inactivity or lost communications. As a woman now in my 60’s I can count many times when I needed my girlfriends, and was so grateful I had kept them in my life. One of my best friends is a woman I met when we were awkward 13 year-olds complete with braces, gangly limbs, angst-filled poetry and crushes on all the wrong boys. We’ve seen each other through many of life’s hard times and great adventures. Adulting is hard if you try and go it alone.

Your Integrity and Your Soul are more important than Money. Care for your soul. Work to keep your integrity and ethics intact. It can be challenging in a money-oriented world. You will be tempted. Focus on the long game. Focus on your bigger vision. Keep your eyes on your higher purpose and on your future. Adulting means not selling your soul for things or status – both of these will fade in time. Hold on to those things that no one can take away.

Adulting means becoming an Individual

Remember who you are. You are a unique person with tremendous gifts to share with a world who needs you. Don’t forget that truth in the race to be “one of the crowd.” That crowd you currently run with will be long gone in a few years. People you work with, classmates, neighbors, and that “popular guy” are all on their own journey. You will only keep a small number of those people in your life. Don’t make decisions today with only their opinions and needs in mind.

To be continued tomorrow… Adulting Pt 3

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Blessings,

Knock it off! A little Perspective

Posted on September 13, 2016 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Perspective is a good thing!

Knock it off! Life can be good if you let it be. Look for positive moments, no matter how small. Ignore what you think others think of you. Celebrate little triumphs. Breathe deep and find new Life perspectives. Our selfie-culture makes random strangers’ opinions more important than our own. Instead, celebrate that which makes you unique, happy, centered, healthy and wise.

Stop. Look up from your mobile devils – er devices! Look around. Step back from social media and ask what you desire; what you deserve in your life; what makes you successful and happy. Hint: it’s not 20,000 followers. It’s human contact. One-on-one conversations. Meaningful dialog. Interesting activities that engage more than your two thumbs.

Three thoughts:

Don’t worry what others think.

They aren’t thinking about you. Don’t give yourself too much credit. Focus instead on being who your dog thinks you are…

If you think people are paying so much attention to you, ask random people to recap what you posted 10 days ago. (No fair looking!) They. Don’t. Know. Ask what you wore last week. Same response: Shrug. Focus on those who really matter: family, close friends, clients, those who can help you and those who need your support.

Stop putting things off for “some day.” How long do you think you have?

Perspective: life looks small from here — Flying over the Alaskan glaciers

Every year I have this goal: “I want to learn two new things this year, and one of them should scare me a little.”

I’m a pilot. While in Alaska a few years ago, I jumped at the chance to fly in a home built Supercub over the glaciers. It was the thrill of a lifetime. Scary too! See those snowshoes in the photo above? Those are attached to the wing in case we crashed and had to hike out! Yikes! Scary and so amazing!

What’s your goal? What’s on your bucket list? What do you do each year to give you more perspective on life? How long do you think you have?

People did something to insure your freedom. Respect that!

Be grateful – every day.

For every little thing: paved roads, indoor plumbing, lights that work, people who are willing to protect you, farmers and ranchers who grow your food, a roof over your head. Look around! Your life is comfy because other people did a thing. Say your ‘gratitudes’ every day upon waking.

I’m constantly amazed at how wonderful the infrastructure is in Phoenix. Our road crews rock! Thank you @ADOT! How they keep everything so well paved in crushing summer heat is a mystery, and I’m very grateful they do!

Look around. There are hundreds of things that people do for you every single day. Be grateful for all the little things that work well and all the people who make it happen. (And yes, I’m talking to you #Kaepernick!)

Gratitude goes a long way to making your day better and it also makes the day of the person you thank along the way. #Respect #Perspective!

Our trip on this spinning ball only lasts about 70-80 revolutions around the sun if we are lucky. Take advantage of every special day. Learn from your mistakes. Keep your head up and be grateful. Life can be good if you learn from the past and keep moving forward.

Blessings,

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Can You Afford NOT to De-Stress?

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Psssst… you’re no fun when you are stressed out!

Face it, we’re all kind of a PITA (pain :-)) when we are stressed. We push people around; we aren’t ourselves; the more stressed we are the more frazzled we become. It’s not good for us and it really messes with our friendships and relationships at work and at home. Not to mention that our productivity takes a dive.

And for what? Sure, it’s great to have a mission and purpose. Not so great if you leave us prematurely due to stress!

So – here are Six Life Hacks to help you De-Stress

Stretch… a LOT:
- Before you get out of bed in the morning, do a few quick stretches. Legs straight in the air and cross over from side to side; the bicycle routine; knees to chest; knees together then rock from side to side. This gets the blood flowing, works out kinks and is a shot of energy for the day.
- At your desk, clasp your hands together in the old “here’s the church and here’s the steeple” style. Press them straight out in front of you and then straight up over your head. Roll your shoulders to the front and back. Hold your arms out straight with your palms straight up then rotate them with palms towards the floor. Clap your hands behind you with arms as straight as possible.
- While seated, lift each leg up off the chair, first with knees bent and then with legs as straight as possible. If you do these two little rituals daily, you will feel less stressed, more energized and better able to tackle the day. (Hah! you just did all those! I know you did! See?!)

Happy Feet Keep You Stable: When I worked at a Personnel Recruitment office in Hawaii, a very staid and proper man (or so I thought) was one of the Recruiters. One day I spotted bare, wet feet resting on a towel peeking out from under his desk. He was one of those lunch-time surfers. But on the days he couldn’t get to the beach, he’d pull a small pan of saltwater from the corner under his desk and quietly slip off his socks and shoes to soak his feet for half an hour. When I finally got up the nerve to ask him, he said it was a great stress reliever and felt like he was in the ocean. I started trying that during the day and it really works! If not at work, do it once you get home.

© BethTerry.com EverybodysLost.com — Watching Hummingbirds is very relaxing

Nature breaks the Stress:
- Take a walk outside… but if you can’t go outside, do a quick search on nature cams and watch it or play it in the background for a short break. I like the Eagle Cams, Owl cams and hummingbird cams. Ustream.tv is a great resource.
- Hummingbirds visit my patio in Arizona year round. So far I’ve had three nests and watched six babies fledge. The picture above was taken from my dining room window. They chose a tiny windchime for the base of the nest. That nest is smaller than a ping-pong ball cut in half!
- Get out of the office during your break or lunch. Bring a sandwich and sit in the park away from the noise and mayhem.
- Or bring nature to you – have a live plant, a fishbowl, or headphones with soothing sounds of the surf or a babbling brook.
- Whatever floats your boat – find something to do with nature that will soothe you.

Rituals are soothing: Rituals and traditions can be very grounding.
- As teens and twenty-somethings, many of us rejected the traditions of our parents.
- As we age, we realize that traditions can anchor us and keep us stable
- Create healthy exercise and pre-sleep rituals
- Try a safety ritual before bed – checking all the doors, looking in on the kids, making sure the garage door is closed
- Short meditation rituals remind you to slow down and breathe, look around, be present
- Reminder Rituals: Each time the clock reads either 11:11 or 1:11, I stop for a full minute and remember all the things I’m grateful for.
- I do my Gratitudes: “10 things I’m grateful for” each morning before getting out of bed.

Each morning before getting out of bed, I list my Gratitudes

Sleep Better: Turn off bright lights, video games, emails, news programs, TV… at least 90 minutes before bed. What you put in your brain before sleep impacts your dream state, even if you don’t remember. I watched an episode of Twinning on Hulu just before bed one night and woke up stressed and upset that my twin (I don’t have a twin) was living apart from me.

Stop-Drop-Breathe: Right now consciously lower your shoulders, get that head directly over your spine, tuck in your butt so your spine is aligned. Even if you do this only occasionally, you’ll notice your back and legs don’t hurt so much, your stress levels drop almost immediately, and it’s easier to breathe.

Take care of yourself! We need you healthy!

Relax! Thanks for listening!

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Can You Afford NOT to De-Stress?

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Psssst… you’re no fun when you are stressed out!

And for what? Sure, it’s great to have a mission and purpose. Not so great if you leave us prematurely due to stress!

So – here are Six Life Hacks to help you De-Stress

Stretch… a LOT:
- Before you get out of bed in the morning, do a few quick stretches. Legs straight in the air and cross over from side to side; the bicycle routine; knees to chest; knees together then rock from side to side. This gets the blood flowing, works out kinks and is a shot of energy for the day.
- At your desk, clasp your hands together in the old “here’s the church and here’s the steeple” style. Press them straight out in front of you and then straight up over your head. Roll your shoulders to the front and back. Hold your arms out straight with your palms straight up then rotate them with palms towards the floor. Clap your hands behind you with arms as straight as possible.
- While seated, lift each leg up off the chair, first with knees bent and then with legs as straight as possible. If you do these two little rituals daily, you will feel less stressed, more energized and better able to tackle the day. (Hah! you just did all those! I know you did! See?!)

Happy Feet Keep You Stable: When I worked at a Personnel Recruitment office in Hawaii, a very staid and proper man (or so I thought) was one of the Recruiters. One day I spotted bare, wet feet resting on a towel peeking out from under his desk. He was one of those lunch-time surfers. But on the days he couldn’t get to the beach, he’d pull a small pan of saltwater from the corner under his desk and quietly slip off his socks and shoes to soak his feet for half an hour. When I finally got up the nerve to ask him, he said it was a great stress reliever and felt like he was in the ocean. I started trying that during the day and it really works! If not at work, do it once you get home.

Nature breaks the Stress:
- Take a walk outside… but if you can’t go outside, do a quick search on nature cams and watch it or play it in the background for a short break. I like the Eagle Cams, Owl cams and hummingbird cams. Ustream.tv is a great resource.
- Hummingbirds visit my patio in Arizona year round. So far I’ve had three nests and watched six babies fledge. The picture above was taken from my dining room window. They chose a tiny windchime for the base of the nest. That nest is smaller than a ping-pong ball cut in half!
- Get out of the office during your break or lunch. Bring a sandwich and sit in the park away from the noise and mayhem.
- Or bring nature to you – have a live plant, a fishbowl, or headphones with soothing sounds of the surf or a babbling brook.
- Whatever floats your boat – find something to do with nature that will soothe you.

Rituals are soothing: Rituals and traditions can be very grounding.
- As teens and twenty-somethings, many of us rejected the traditions of our parents.
- As we age, we realize that traditions can anchor us and keep us stable
- Create healthy exercise and pre-sleep rituals
- Try a safety ritual before bed – checking all the doors, looking in on the kids, making sure the garage door is closed
- Short meditation rituals remind you to slow down and breathe, look around, be present
- Reminder Rituals: Each time the clock reads either 11:11 or 1:11, I stop for a full minute and remember all the things I’m grateful for.
- I do my Gratitudes: “10 things I’m grateful for” each morning before getting out of bed.

Each morning before getting out of bed, I list my Gratitudes

Sleep Better: Turn off bright lights, video games, emails, news programs, TV… at least 90 minutes before bed. What you put in your brain before sleep impacts your dream state, even if you don’t remember. I watched an episode of Twinning on Hulu just before bed one night and woke up stressed and upset that my twin (I don’t have a twin) was living apart from me.

Stop-Drop-Breathe: Right now consciously lower your shoulders, get that head directly over your spine, tuck in your butt so your spine is aligned. Even if you do this only occasionally, you’ll notice your back and legs don’t hurt so much, your stress levels drop almost immediately, and it’s easier to breathe.

Take care of yourself! We need you healthy!

Relax! Thanks for listening!

Those Pesky Unintended Consequences

Posted on October 1, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Are you SURE you want to do that?

© 2015 Beth Terry Image of Banyan in Hawaii — Unintended Consequences!

We have all done it: made a decision to solve one problem, only to discover we have created three more problems with our solution. My lonely little ficus tree looked sickly and gray in the corner of my office in Hawaii. “Why not plant that outside?” I thought to myself. Why not? I discovered a half dozen why not’s!

The tree doubled in size the first six months. It loved all that Hawaii sun and rich volcanic soil
By the second year, it had quadrupled in size
The roots began to wind their way down to our retaining wall
Meanwhile my neighbor Lefty, an avid orchid grower, was dealing with the shade from this monster tree and his orchids were suffering. He was not happy with the unintended consequences of my poorly-thought-out idea…
I suddenly had the awful task of trying to end this tree’s reign of terror over our back yard. It looked impossible and I didn’t have any idea or any tools to commit Ficus-side.

Up until the tree incident, I enjoyed a lovely friendship with the neighbors on both sides. Not so much anymore. I told Lefty I’d bring in a tree expert when I returned from my trip.

Lefty had other ideas. His wife told me he hid in the garage and watched me drive off to the airport. As soon as my car was out of sight, he was on the job. He sawed and hacked and reduced that monster tree into submission. When he had most of the tree carcass in his truck, he drilled into the roots and poured some kind of powder, then lit it on fire.

When I returned from my trip the only visible evidence that a tree had stood there was my rapidly degrading retaining wall and a patch of new grass. The contractor I hired to shore up the wall had to pull it down piece by piece while sawing at the roots pushing from the inside. The heavy machinery tore up my lawn and destroyed part of my driveway.

The costs of this “great idea?”

Office Ficus Tree: $35
Tree hole digger: $45
Special composted tree dirt to fill in the hole: $7
Contractor to dig out roots and shore up wall: $3,500
Contractor to fix driveway: $1,000
Dinner at famous Sushi restaurant for neighbors for mea culpa: $375

Lesson learned…

When you have a “great idea” – ASK people who may know something you don’t! Ask yourself what the desired end result is. Figure out if the cost of doing it (and UNDOING it!) are worth it. And maybe just sit on the idea for a few days and revisit it when your brain cells are functioning better. Not all ideas are great. Not everything needs an action plan. And some things are better off sitting in the corner of your office looking lonely instead of being fed superfood and turning into a monster tree practically over night!!

Happy Thinking!

Never thought about that – Traffic Jams

Posted on September 16, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

The Kaleidoscope Effect – Everything has another side to it and nothing is as it seems

@2015 Beth Terry Traffic Jam view — Sometimes slow is a blessing

It was a usual drive-time-slow-jam on the freeway. I didn’t mind it when I was alone. It was expected and I usually would put on some Aretha Franklin music and dance to it in my car. But this day was different. I had a mainland guest with me and felt somehow responsible for the traffic jam. She was coming with me to work and was going to use my car while I was busy.

I muttered and swore under my breath at the idiots on the road who caused even more problems than usual on this sunny day in Hawaii. She ignored me and kept exclaiming at the beauty and wonder of scenery I had seen thousands of times.

“Oh! Look at those birds! They’re beautiful! What are they?”

Me, “Egrets. I don’t know how they got here. They don’t look like they could fly across the Pacific … mumble grumble mumble.”

“They’re elegant! They look like mini-cranes! Oh! Look at that, is that Pearl Harbor?”

“Yeah. Oh LOOK at that guy! He’s the cause of this traffic! Why doesn’t he pull his car to the side!”

“Is that why they call it Pearl Harbor? It looks like a gray pearl in the morning sunlight! WOW!”

“I don’t know. I think it had to do with finding pearls there before all those ships came in… Oh, come ON people! Don’t WALK YOUR CARS! DRIVE!”

“Look at that pink building up there! What is that? It looks like a Parrish painting. It almost looks like it’s floating in the middle of all that green!”

“Oh, that’s Tripler Hospital. I don’t know why they painted it pink. Prolly got extra paint from the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. Come ON PEOPLE!”

Traffic came to a complete stop and she put her hand on my shoulder. “Beth, you are so lucky to have slow traffic in an area as beautiful as this. All I see are semi-trucks on all four sides of me at home. If I didn’t have a sun roof, I wouldn’t even know what kind of day it was. And it’s usually smoggy and ugly. Here, you can look over there and see down the valley. You can look up to the mountains and see the beauty of Hawaii every single day on the way to work. Wow. You are so very, very lucky.”

I stopped grumbling and looked around. She was right. Time to wake up. People spend their entire life savings to come to the islands. I get to “go to Hawaii” every weekend. And during the week, I’m treated to some of the most amazing and beautiful scenery the world has to offer.

I never looked at traffic jams the same since.

How ’bout you?

Cheers,