Are you creating your own obstacles by not letting go?
The cords that bind us resemble these Hyacinth roots
My Hawaiian teachers taught me how to let go of obstacles. Their wisdom still applies, perhaps even more so.
I spent the bulk of my adult years in Hawaii. It’s still the home of my heart, my family and my friends. While there, I learned how to let go of the past. I learned, “Forgive and Remember.” Release emotional pain, but don’t try and suppress or repress it. Remembering helps you to not repeat what got you in trouble in the first place. It helps you keep people at arm’s length if they harmed you.
One of my Hawaiian healers used to speak of energies we all have that become attached to other people and/or to things that have impacted us. Look at the roots in this Hyacinth plant above. It’s helpful to imagine that’s what your attachments look like. Each person you love, hate, have argued with, have been attracted to, or have worked for… all those people are attached to you in some way. All those experiences are banging around in your head, sometimes bothering you more than you want to admit. Some attachments may be a slim thread. Some may look more like a trunk line the size of your leg.
The wonderful thing I learned from my teachers in Hawaii was that I can choose which to hold onto and which to sever. I used to teach this in my seminars. I recommended imagining you have a pair of garden shears. Look at each of these attachments individually, and see yourself cutting them loose.
You can go deeper, though! In meditation the other night I had a different thought. Instead of cutting those connections, look further. I had been out in the yard pulling weeds and pulled this guy out of the ground. You can’t tell, but it’s 3 feet long!
Think of those attachments in your heart and memory as weeds that you can pull out
Obstacles need to be pulled out by the root!
And it hit me – if I cut a weed off at ground level, the roots still remain and I’ll have that weed problem again!
I made a list of all the things, situations, and people that still bothered me. I sat quietly and imagined pulling each of those attachments out by the root. The relief I felt at the end of 20 minutes of this process is indescribable!
I had been blocked and unable to finish a simple project for my upcoming webinar series. I couldn’t figure it out. Now I’m rarin’ to go and the webinars will be up and running soon.
Look, this isn’t about being all airy-fairy. This is a healthy psychological tool to release things that block you so you can go forward and do what you were meant to do in this world. It’s also a reminder from someone who has always been a self-motivator that everyone needs healing and clearing of blockades from time to time.
Don’t you have your mechanic flush your car radiator? Do you clean your gutters and clear the path in front of your home when it snows? This is no different.
Flush your brain. Clean the rain gutters in your head. Clear the path in your heart. Try it and let me know how it works! Spring is as good a time as any to do a little Emotional Spring Cleaning!
Good luck and Happy Spring!
Blessings,
@ 2021 Beth Terry Events • Please share with friends • Ask about a Zoom-inar for you or a room full of your friends and colleagues!
The Anthem Christmas Tree looks like it’s made of Fireworks!
The old man sat on a bench near the Christmas tree a few days after Christmas. It was apparent he played Santa in one of the big Metro stores nearby. He had an all-knowing look, kind eyes, the requisite white beard, and a gentle laugh that I swore sounded a bit like, “Ho Ho Ho.”
I was taking a break from paperwork and sat in a welcome patch of sun breaking through the clouds. It was colder than usual in the desert, and I tightened my coat around me. He seemed oblivious to the chill in the air.
We sat silently near each other after the cursory greeting of strangers. Startling me out of my reverie, he turned to me, “It’s going to all work out,” he said softly. I laughed and shrugged it off.
“What? What’s going to work out?”
“Whatever is wrinkling that brow of yours.”
I just nodded and looked at the pavement, fighting off tears.
It had been a year since my divorce. I escaped to Phoenix afterwards. New to the desert, I was still trying to find my way in a new life. That elusive concept of “Life Purpose” would peek out from behind bushes and flit away just as I thought I had it. It’s amazing how quickly things can disintegrate, even when we think we have life all figured out. My late father was fond of saying, “Honey, life just isn’t a straight line. Enjoy all your gifts and abundance while you have them. You never know when they will disappear. No guarantees, sweetie. No guarantees.”
The old man continued, “You know all of this. But it looks like you need to hear it again.”
I looked at him and smiled.
You can decide to make any day your “New Year”
“This is your new year. Even if it were the dead of summer, you can decide to make any day your ‘New Year.’ You know that. You also know the five secrets to making it a good new year…”
“I do?” I was now regretting starting this conversation. I grew up as a minister’s kid. Living in my father’s house was like living in a sermon. Every single day. I chuckled to myself and decided to honor this nice man by listening to him.
“Yes. Of course you do. In fact, you probably told all of this to your kids and to anyone else who would listen. So here goes:
“One: Forgive everybody.”
I nodded, “Yeah. I actually wrote that in one of my books.”
He laughed, “I know.”
“How do you…. Oh never mind…”
The old man continued, counting on his fingers:
“Two: Trust and Love yourself,
“Three: Remember to detach,
“Four: Live in Grace,
“Five: Express Gratitude Every Day.”
He slapped his thighs and chuckled. Then he stood up and walked away. Just like that. No further explanation. He was right, I knew this. And so do you. But at the beginning of any New Year, it’s good to remember the simple truths that make Life worth living.
Remember the simple truths
Here are my thoughts on his five secrets…
Forgive everybody. Forgive your self first. Forgive your parents. Forgive clients who didn’t hire you, and the ones who did. Forgive your kids. Forgive your neighbors. Just let it go. Don’t waste your life holding on to grudges and past insults. Most people aren’t cruel, they’re just clueless. Or they’re distracted and not paying all that much attention to you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you let them off the hook. It just means you don’t carry all that weight around with you. How can you move forward dragging the weight of the world? You can’t.
Trust and Love yourself. This should be self-explanatory, but it’s not always easy to do. Social media has made us question our selves and our sanity. Comparing ourselves to online fiction posted by most people makes it hard to trust our own judgment. Here’s a general rule you can follow on social media – It’s All PhotoShopped! So much of what is printed on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all the rest is just plain fake. No one looks as good as their Instagram photos. No one had THAT much fun on their vacation. Don’t compare. Look in the mirror and love your imperfect, wacko, not always sane self! Trust your instincts. Your ‘gut’ knows more than you realize.
Take a Deep Breath and DETACH
Remember to Detach. Step back from social media, step away from big crowds for a bit. Let go of relatives who make you crazy (love them from afar!) Forget trying to control other people. BREATHE. The reason you didn’t get my “required” New Years post is I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of all the noise. I was practicing what I preach. Hopefully today you are back to work and able to take a few minutes to read something uplifting!
Live in Grace. It is a natural human thing to be flawed. We are not ever going to be perfect and we shouldn’t try to be. Start by extending grace to yourself. Look at your flaws and see which ones are actually charming, which ones are NBD (no big deal), and which ones can be tweaked slightly to keep you out of trouble. Be grateful for those things that make you unique. Don’t try to model yourself after other people. You don’t know their challenges or their pain. And while you’re at it, extend Grace to others. See # 1.
Express Gratitude Every Day. If you’ve known me for more than a millisecond, you know I say this a lot. It’s one of the things that keeps me from going crazy. When everything seems like it’s falling apart, I stop and look around. I name 10 things I’m grateful for, even if it’s something as mundane as, Thank you ADOT for paved roads. I’m thankful for indoor plumbing (when I was a kid, I stayed on a farm that didn’t have this. I get it!) I’m grateful for my sweet little PugWawa sleeping under my desk. And, most importantly, Thank you God for helping me figure out the next steps in my life!
Happy New Year!!
I’ve said a lot of this before. I’m just reminding you to take care of yourself! You deserve to have a wonderful 2019. Detach from 2018. Let it go. Learn the lessons and celebrate the blessings. And write to me to let me know how you’re doing!
Blessings and Happy New Year!
OH – and a huge PS – Listen to me tomorrow (Thursday, January 3) at Noon MST on National Business Radio.
Today I thanked several people for their contributions to my life. The answers?
“Oh, it was nothing…”
“No big deal.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
I want to shake them and remind them that it’s a ripoff to not accept someone’s compliment or thanks. Let me be grateful for you, Dangit!
Here’s a thought… my grandma used to say, “Accepting someone’s gratitude with grace is the 11th commandment.”
So when someone compliments you, thanks you, appreciates you, and acknowledges the joy and blessing you are in their life… Just Say, “You’re Welcome!”
The human condition is such that we need to practice day-to-day civilities as much as possible. There’s too much trouble in the world. Too many grumpy and thin-skinned people. Too many people who make a hobby out of being offended and annoyed. ENOUGH.
Gratitude is a two-way street. It’s healthy. It opens you up for more abundance and joy in your life. And at the end of the day it sure feels a lot better than being a grouch and a grinch all day. I recently did seminars on Life Balance in Hawaii and created a page for my attendees. I’ll share it here in the spirit of Thanksgiving, because I’m Thankful for YOU.
In keeping with the theme of gratefulness this Holiday Season, let’s start showing more gratitude for the gifts that have been bestowed upon us, and when someone acknowledges the gift we are to them, acknowledge it back.
Ok, I just needed to say all of that. I want your life to be better than you ever thought it could be.
MORE Resilience Podcasts with Beth about parenting made easy
Take time to listen to two Resilience Podcasts about raising kids in this topsy turvy world. With so many different elements influencing your children daily, you want to be the one in charge of their influences. Don’t allow strangers to raise your kids. Be the grownup. This book has wonderful tools, helpful hints, checklists, and sage advice for any parents struggling to help their kids grow to be wonderful, accountable, responsible adults.
Beth on Live Radio Interview – With Podcast Available Now
Beth’s New Book on Raising Resilient Kids
Beth Terry was interviewed live in the States and in Australia. Listen to Beth discussing her latest book, Resilience Not Included: How to help your kids bounce back
We reported this on CactusWrangler as well. Be sure to check out the PERFECT gift for moms this Mother’s Day and every day.
We have the store set up so when you order this e-book, Beth sends it to you directly, along with a couple of extras. So don’t worry that it doesn’t download right away. We’ll send it to you along with a personal note from Beth!
This PSA from Iceland is the best “Choosing Wisely” ad on the internet (not my OC)
Part 3: Choosing Wisely as you move forward in life will keep you out of trouble and alive long enough to watch your grandkids graduate from college. See Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Remember you are the only person in your life who will be 100% affected by every single choice you make. Make good, healthy, happy choices for yourself and your future. Don’t look back on a life filled with regrets. Here’s my short list of guidelines:
~ Always choose “BEST AVAILABLE:” Whether it’s food, friends, drinks, after work parties, the workplace, buying a car and all the other choices you have in life.
~ Keep your Word, do what you say you will do: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, or promises that will undermine or harm you later. This is unfortunately often learned through experience and failure. Do your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.
~ Keep your eyes on the Prize. Look to the future when making choices. Always consider unintended consequences. Remember your goals and why you are here.
~ NO is a complete sentence. You have permission to not do things! You don’t need to explain anything. The less you say, the less they have to hold onto if they are trying to manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do! If you must, try saying, “I’d love to and I can’t…” or try this, “Sure, we can do that as soon as you do this…”
Expand Your Horizons
READ! Not just on your electronic devices. There’s something wonderful in holding a hard cover book and tucking yourself away in a secret place to go on an internal adventure. Learn about foreign places, discover thoughts of ancient people, read histories and autobiographies to discover how other people have handled adversity and challenges.
Travel! Get out and see the world before you settle down. For that matter, learn to do things solo as well as with friends. Travel and a little independence will teach you about yourself. It will help you understand and appreciate other cultures and other people. Do it while you are young enough and have few things that tie you down.
You Will Survive Becoming an Adult
You will get your heart broken. You will fail at some things. You will get rejected. You will not always get what you want. OH WELL! Learn to take these in stride. They are just some of the costs of being a great spirit in a human body. God always answers prayer, and sometimes the answer is “NO!” I look back across the landscape of my life and am thankful daily for unanswered prayers, unmet expectations, and failures that changed my direction and my heart.
It’s going to be OK. Trust me. Someday you will tell this to your 18 year old!
Here’s a lesson on Choosing Wisely I tell all my audiences:
Be Good To People.
You don’t know who they are
You don’t know who they know
And
You don’t know who they might become!
Take care of yourself, kiddo. The world needs you. And we need you healthy and happy.
Are you missing out on a hidden resource? Do you hire a replacement manager only to have them repeat mistakes from the past? New Concept: Hiring Interim Managers gives a company time to reassess the position and determine which skills are needed to fulfill the Corporate Vision & Mission with current data.
It was 1981 and I was ahead of my time. My first business was as an Interim Admin person for corporations and associations. I was an Interceptor, an Admin-on-Call and a Re-organizer. In short, I took a vacated position, analyzed and re-purposed it and helped them hire a replacement. I loved my career! It was exciting. I used all my analytical and admin skills which afforded me the opportunity to learn a variety of businesses from the inside. In my speaking career that knowledge has served my audiences well.
Here’s how it worked:
Company fired or lost Office Manager, Director, Admin Leader
Before Hiring a New Manager, Company hired me for 3-6 months
While re-organizing things based upon Company’s updated Vision and Mission, I learned the position
Eliminating duplicate work and unnecessary jobs, I was able to identify new positions and activities necessary to meet updated objectives of the company
Working with the team we wrote Desk Manuals, new Job Descriptions, and a new wish list for the ideal candidate
Existing team members might be re-purposed or reassigned. We included them in the process to help increase buy-in and excitement
Next we brought in Search firms to identify candidates for remaining jobs. We interviewed the top 10-15 people sent over
The CEO/President/Hiring team were prepped on the needs and details of the position being filled
Final candidates were interviewed and chosen by the appropriate parties
One or more people were hired and I trained them for the new and improved position
I then bid them adieu and went on to my next company.
Is your organization headed in the right direction?
Benefits to This System
My client companies benefited from this system in numerous ways. First, any time a person leaves a position, they leave flotsam and jetsam behind. Perhaps they set things up to serve themselves, not the company or the next person in the position. There may have been hidden mistakes, or worse, malfeasance. If they left angry or resentful, they may have poisoned the well if they hired their own replacement.
A new pair of experienced eyes cuts through the nonsense to the most important aspects of the job. Positions held by one person for a long time are subject to Normalcy Bias – “This is just the way it is! It can’t be changed. It’s too hard!” A new person will ask, “Why?” “Why do we do this? What does this mean? Who does this serve? Does this even make sense anymore?”
I looked with fresh eyes at each situation, asking a lot of questions. Together we focused on aligning the position with the Vision and Mission of the organization, ensuring a smoother transition for a new person. We saved companies time, money and energy while reducing painful downtime that comes with transitions.
Look At What Has Changed Before Hiring
When an outsider steps in as Interim Manager, office politics can be reduced. We helped everyone focus on the end game: finding the right person for the position to make the company more successful. Every company in expansion and hiring mode would benefit from a step back. Take time to determine if the position and duties have changed since the last time someone was hired for this job.
Senior executives on the verge of retirement are a precious natural resource
As I reach retirement, I realize my colleagues and I could provide this very service to thousands of organizations across the planet. We senior executives on the verge of retirement are a precious natural resource that companies could/should consider in building your businesses for the future.
Engage seniors for skills and analytical ability. They don’t necessarily need to come from your industry. They could be someone retiring from a competitor or another division as well. While we seniors may not all have the social media and tech skills of our wonderful Millenials, we do have a perspective from 30,000 feet on many aspects of business.
Think about it – #Search Firms, #Job Banks, Corporate #Hiring Personnel, #HR and all those involved in building businesses – reconsider precious natural resources available to you in the form of senior talent. Your Millenials need some grandparents and mentors. We seniors don’t want 60-hour a week jobs. We can be your interim analyst who saves you time, money and energy going forward. We can provide much needed guidance and mentoring to the younger crowd poised to take over the world. Take advantage of it!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today we celebrate Attraction!
Life goes on within you and without you
Today our minds are on Attraction and Love. Engagement ring companies, Florists, restaurants and candy companies are having a field day. You hear many things at the water cooler – “What do I give my Love on this auspicious day?” “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” “This is a big deal!” “This is a bogus holiday pushed by greeting card companies! Bah humbug!” “I love Valentine’s Day! Wheee!” “Oh, crap! It’s Valentines Day?!” “I’m gonna ask her to marry me today! Yikes!” “Well, another stupid holiday!”
I don’t believe in the “Law of Attraction.” If there is one, a lot of people are breaking the law! There’s no rhyme or reason why we’re attracted to anyone. If you ask, most people can’t tell you why. Sure, armchair psychologists will attribute it to daddy or mommy or some 3rd grade teacher. But who knows, really? Will that couple make the long haul? The ones we think won’t make it seem to last forever and the “perfect couple” break up in a few years! Why? Who knows? And the world goes on, day in and day out, whether or not you’ve found THE ONE.
There’s no accountin’ for taste! Love makes no sense!
My friends in college made no sense to me. Let’s call them Jack & Jill. He was a burly construction worker with a mouth on him. Partied hard with hard-drinkin’ friends who never got the memo on minor things like hygiene and manners. She was a beauty. A southern belle with manners. You know her, the one with her pinky finger extended while drinking mint julep. She was operas and the local playhouse. He was Pink Floyd and the local bar.
When they met we all rolled our eyes. Bets were taken on how long “this” will last. We’d go to their house for BBQ and he’d entertain his friends in his man-cave garage, hard rock blaring. We’d be in her finely appointed living room with concertos playing on the stereo. Never gonna last. Right? Well, I just read that Jill lost her knight in rusty armor. They were together 45 years till he died of lung cancer. The photos showed a finely appointed southern belle in a black hat and veil standing by her lifetime Love as they lowered him into the ground. You just never know. Love makes no sense.
So – enjoy your day. Love someone. Go to the Animal Shelter and love a rescue pup. If you don’t have someone, go to the homeless shelter and help serve meals. Get hold of your friends with kids who could use a night out with their sweetheart and offer to babysit. I’ve spent years with no one, and years with someone who was there but not there. I’ve had times of being loved deeply and profoundly. Life offers us the entire constellation of possibilities when it comes to Attraction. Do we bring it on – maybe. Do we ignore it sometimes or miss it entirely? Absolutely.
Life is not a straight line. What you have today, you may not have tomorrow. Enjoy where you are, how you are, why you are, and who you are. And no matter what, Have a Happy Celebration of Love Day!
I’m proud of my girl Chenty. She’s a successful manager in a Hawaii retail operation. I’ve always known she’d do well. As a teenager, she was a wonderful basketball coach for her sisters and friends. Sports is one of the great ways to learn how to be a Leader, how to share success, and how to occasionally lose and be gracious about it. (Hollywood could learn a few things from my girls right now!)
Chenty will be 33 in a few days. That’s a magical age and a wonderful number. It’s the beginning stretch of one’s “real” career life. Amazing opportunities and new doors await. I’m excited and proud of her for her work ethic and her willingness to take on these new responsibilities. (Not all “Millenials” are sitting around waiting to be taken care of!)
Pondering what gift to give for this special birthday, I remembered an inspirational leadership book from 1994. Thumbing through its well-worn pages dotted with scribbles and torn post-it notes I realized I’d used this book more than I thought. Not only did it guide my management style, it was a key to my parenting style. Looking at the arc of history with both managing employees and raising kids, it was evident how practical, effective and true these words were.
Leadership Means Being Accountable
What is this great book? Flight of the Buffalo by James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, colleagues and peers of Tom Peters. I sheepishly admit I originally bought it because of the name. I’ve collected Buffalo carvings since I was a little girl in South Dakota. It turned out to be the best Leadership book I ever read. As I scan it I can see how many of these principles settled into to the core of my Life and Management philosophies. It was that profound. So “Thank You” to Belasco and Stayer.
Perhaps the most compelling message is how vital it is for Leaders to take responsibility for whatever mess/success/direction their company takes.Leadership MUST be accountable. Pointing fingers, assigning blame, deflecting criticism, denigrating the competition, muddying the waters and building stronger barn doors after the livestock have run amok is a surefire guarantee for failure. (Again, Hollywood & DC, are you listening? I’m not being political, I’m making a practical business observation here!)
The chapter and paragraph titles give you a sense of their Uncommon Common Sense: Mistakes tell you where the oil isn’t; Beware sleeping with Corpses; Business is a Cycle; What do Customers Really Buy?; Avoiding Victimitis; Upward Delegation is a Curse… It’s worth a look at the titles alone.
The most important message? Human Beings WANT to succeed. They WANT to be led, encouraged, celebrated, and made to feel they are an important part of the success of the company. We all need to be needed, to feel our lives are worth something and our contributions matter.
The authors don’t know I’m writing this. It’s my New Years Gift to you. Go buy this book. Buy it in paper form so you can write on it, highlight it, put exclamations in the borders and fill it up with post-it-notes. Buy copies for your management teams!
Often in business we are looking for the next big thing or the latest thought leader. Looking back a few decades or even centuries can yield wonderful insights to carry you and your organization into the new year with success and positive impact.
Take care of yourself and your team! The world NEEDS successful companies and people!
The desert air hurts in July. When Phoenix temps soar above 111º with humidity hovering below 10%, our famous dry heat assaults our nostrils, lips and cheeks with a heavy fist. Around 4pm when the “heat island” is at its worst, I feel like a circus elephant is riding a tricycle across my chest. Nothing gets done. A siesta looms as the only option.
Today, we woke to cooler temperatures after the salvation of our first rainstorm in months. The whole neighborhood was out and about. We were as giddy as Seattleites who play hooky from work to play in the ocean on a rare sunny day.
Like most of my neighbors, I decided this was a good day to mow the lawn. I got the mower, put on my D-backs baseball cap and gathered all my tools. The mower wouldn’t start. Undaunted and energized by the relatively cool morning (87º) I began mowing my lawn with the weed whacker.
I was lovin’ my new and powerful Black+Decker Trimmer, but I discovered much to my chagrin that a weed whacker doesn’t do such a great job when you’re using it for the entire lawn! I was swinging it around, making divots like a golfer, and after half an hour my arms hurt! Great power tool! Wrong job. The photo above shows you my handiwork. When I stopped, I giggled at the results.
Meh, who cares? It was good enough! An imperfectly mowed lawn is nothing to lose sleep over, it will grow back and I’ll mow it again some day. By the same token, an unmade bed is not a crime and it doesn’t hurt for the bed to air out. Often there are more important things to do than make a bed, including an early morning hike with your sweetheart who doesn’t always have mornings off.
What you can do
With age comes wisdom and the awareness that time is finite. If only I’d known this when I was younger. Some things really don’t matter. Some things don’t need to be done perfectly – or at all!
The next time you’re stressing over a task, ask yourself a few questions:
Is this really all that important?
What would happen if I didn’t do this?
What’s the best use of my time right now?
What’s the minimum effort I can commit to finish it, and not use too much precious time? Finally…
Am I properly equipped to do this, or is there someone else who could do it faster, better and cheaper?
Surrender! It’s all good! Your home will never be perfectly clean. Your lawn will never stay perfectly landscaped. Your car will never stay perfectly shiny and neat. Your wrinkles will keep on comin’ and gravity will keep on pullin’.
You are who you are. You are fine. Do your best. Stop worrying about what others think. Truth is, they aren’t thinking about you! Don’t give yourself too much credit. They are worrying about what YOU think of THEM.
Plant what you want to see growing in your garden and in your Life!
“Why are you surprised at the way your life is today? Did you think you could plant self-pity and blame and harvest happiness?”My grandmother said that to me one day when I was a teenager. I was huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes, adopting the universal 15-year-old-girl stance. “Life is sooooo unfair!” [whine] “Why do I have to [take out the trash, do homework, stay home tonight, help with dinner]!?”
I suppose we could cut our little princes and princesses some slack. Our teens are being mugged by their hormones. They are ill-equipped to figure out how to handle the mood swings and emotions that flip them in and out of happiness and despair, sometimes within the span of two paragraphs. But, such is the job of the grownups: teach them how to navigate this crazy and very unfair world. My mother’s usual refrain when I wandered into self pity was, “No one ever said the world was fair! Only that it is ROUND!” In other words, babe, Deal With it!
This behavior is expected in teenagers. It’s a lot harder to handle when it’s a co-worker, boss, neighbor, friend or sweetheart. It’s not all that easy to send a co-worker to a Time Out, though I have been tempted.
As we age, we realize that our lives are a compilation of every choice we have made, and every thought we have planted. Not all of our fellow grownups have figured this out yet!
So what do you do? Easy – leave them alone and work on yourself. I’ve heard it said that we sometimes choose friends based on the the flaw we need to work on in ourselves. If every friend of ours has the same flaw, we may need to check in the mirror to see why we are attracting or seeking that. But here’s the REAL truth, and understanding this helped me heal some old wounds:
Everyone has something absolutely amazing they can use to make the world better because they were born. And every one of us also has something flawed that we need to face and work on. This applies to celebrities, your family, your best friends, and… YOU.
Think of it this way: we are all a work-in-progress, and we all can make changes by planting different kinds of thoughts in our brains. Knowing that makes it easier to work on ourselves and not get worked up about someone else who ‘drives us nutso!’
You’re born.
You die.
That space in between is up to you. Plant something special and meaningful. Pull out the weeds that have cluttered your heart and your brain and toss them in the trash. You’re worth more than you think. You may not make a huge difference in the world. But you do make a difference to some people and they need you as much as you need them.
