let it go Archives ~ Beth Terry

How to have a Happier New Year

Posted on December 31, 2016 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Happy New Year!

Are you a diamond in the rough? Is life a little wonky right now? I wrote this column in my other blog way back in 2009 and it came to mind again. I overheard my Dad counseling someone who had lost his job: Diamond in the Rubble

I’ll add my own two cents to this — it’s my surefire way to move beyond all the stuff that’s making you nutso ~~~

The best way to have a Happier New Year is to look at your past few years objectively without beating yourself up. Take these quick steps:

Write down briefly what happened.
Think about how you may have participated in making things harder for yourself. Accountability & Responsibility are wonderful antidotes to stress and guilt. Just own it and move on.
Ask yourself what you would do differently if you could. This gives you ideas for a new blueprint.
Think about how you can change, modify, alter some of your behaviors and choices for the future. These are what we usually call “Resolutions.”
Take a deep breath and forgive yourself for past choices and choose now to make better ones. If you want to be dramatic, take a pen and cross off all the dumb choices you made. Then take that list out to your BBQ and set it on fire… or put it in the shredder as a symbolic way to dump the trash and get ready for a NEW and shinier year.

This is a simple process. It works. I do it every year on the night before my birthday and the evening before the New Year. I usually write item #1 on a separate piece of paper. The ideas for change – my resolutions – are on a new piece of paper that I can keep and post somewhere in my office.

The most important efforts in the above list are the ones that involve taking responsibility for our own mess and forgiving ourselves. Everybody messes up. Learning from it is the real gift. Dumping all the guilt and trash from it is a secondary and important gift as well.

This has been a rough year in many ways. It seems the whole country is at each others throats. Relax. Be willing to listen to each other. Have conversations instead of yelling and hurling epithets. We all see the world from our own unique perspective. Maybe the person you are mad at has a perspective you haven’t thought of. None of us has a corner on the truth. And, really, ignore politicians, celebrities and lobbyists with a bone to pick. Remember, they are all getting paid to say the things they say. You are better than that. Think for yourself and resolve to have a happier new year.

You can do this.

I’m hangin’ right in there with you.

Happy New Year! Happy New You.

Be safe,

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

When Good Enough is OK

Posted on July 30, 2016 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Sometimes Good Enough is OK and it’s all you need

EverybodysLost.com Beth Terry, CSP — Sometimes Good enough is OK

The desert air hurts in July. When Phoenix temps soar above 111º with humidity hovering below 10%, our famous dry heat assaults our nostrils, lips and cheeks with a heavy fist. Around 4pm when the “heat island” is at its worst, I feel like a circus elephant is riding a tricycle across my chest. Nothing gets done. A siesta looms as the only option.

Today, we woke to cooler temperatures after the salvation of our first rainstorm in months. The whole neighborhood was out and about. We were as giddy as Seattleites who play hooky from work to play in the ocean on a rare sunny day.

Like most of my neighbors, I decided this was a good day to mow the lawn. I got the mower, put on my D-backs baseball cap and gathered all my tools. The mower wouldn’t start. Undaunted and energized by the relatively cool morning (87º) I began mowing my lawn with the weed whacker.

I was lovin’ my new and powerful Black+Decker Trimmer, but I discovered much to my chagrin that a weed whacker doesn’t do such a great job when you’re using it for the entire lawn! I was swinging it around, making divots like a golfer, and after half an hour my arms hurt! Great power tool! Wrong job. The photo above shows you my handiwork. When I stopped, I giggled at the results.

Meh, who cares? It was good enough! An imperfectly mowed lawn is nothing to lose sleep over, it will grow back and I’ll mow it again some day. By the same token, an unmade bed is not a crime and it doesn’t hurt for the bed to air out. Often there are more important things to do than make a bed, including an early morning hike with your sweetheart who doesn’t always have mornings off.

What you can do

With age comes wisdom and the awareness that time is finite. If only I’d known this when I was younger. Some things really don’t matter. Some things don’t need to be done perfectly – or at all!

The next time you’re stressing over a task, ask yourself a few questions:

Is this really all that important?
What would happen if I didn’t do this?
What’s the best use of my time right now?
What’s the minimum effort I can commit to finish it, and not use too much precious time? Finally…
Am I properly equipped to do this, or is there someone else who could do it faster, better and cheaper?

Surrender! It’s all good! Your home will never be perfectly clean. Your lawn will never stay perfectly landscaped. Your car will never stay perfectly shiny and neat. Your wrinkles will keep on comin’ and gravity will keep on pullin’.

You are who you are. You are fine. Do your best. Stop worrying about what others think. Truth is, they aren’t thinking about you! Don’t give yourself too much credit. They are worrying about what YOU think of THEM.

Now – go out and play! It’s Saturday!

Blessings,