Tag Archives: Accountability

Becoming an Adult

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Becoming an Adult is not easy

Adult, Beth Terry, CSP, Oct 2017
Becoming an Adult is not always easy

What will you tell your adult child? My girlfriend’s daughter celebrated her first birthday this month. My friend asked for a note to file away for her daughter’s 18th birthday. I thought of all the things I wish I’d known when I left home for the first time as an adult. What would you say? What do you wish you had known? Granted, the world will be very different in 2034, but who knows? Life does seem to keep imitating itself. Maybe my letter will help her become a successful adult!

From my note:

Perspective is Everything!
  • Nothing is as it seems and there is always another side to the story, including your own. Pay attention. Listen between the lines. Don’t jump to conclusions just because someone else offers to do your thinking for you. Check your memory. Sometimes someone close to you has more information than you do.
  • No one is as cool and calm as they seem. Everyone is scared. Everyone is a little lost from time to time. Many people have their own defenses to keep people from getting too close to the truth of who they are. If you try and copy someone because you believe in outward appearances, you’ll find yourself disappointed many, many times. People trying to appear perfect at all costs are often the ones with the deepest, darkest secrets and the ones who are the most scared of showing who they really are.
Intuition Works
  • Trust your gut. God gave us a wonderful thing called intuition. It’s woven from subconscious observations, learned truths, eternal truths, brains far more sophisticated than any computer, and your conscious experiences. If something doesn’t seem right, pay attention. If someone makes your skin crawl, there may be a backstory you need to know. If you just ‘don’t feel like’ going with friends or trying something new, maybe there’s a reason. Listen to your echoes.

To be continued tomorrow…

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Part 2 here: Adulting Pt 2

Part 3 here: Adulting Pt3

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com

© 2017 Beth Terry, CSP • All Rights Reserved

Becoming an Adult

Posted on by — 2 Comments ↓

Becoming an Adult is not easy

Adult, Beth Terry, CSP, Oct 2017
Becoming an Adult is not always easy

What will you tell your adult child? My girlfriend’s daughter celebrated her first birthday this month. My friend asked for a note to file away for her daughter’s 18th birthday. I thought of all the things I wish I’d known when I left home for the first time as an adult. What would you say? What do you wish you had known? Granted, the world will be very different in 2034, but who knows? Life does seem to keep imitating itself. Maybe my letter will help her become a successful adult!

From my note:

Perspective is Everything!
  • Nothing is as it seems and there is always another side to the story, including your own. Pay attention. Listen between the lines. Don’t jump to conclusions just because someone else offers to do your thinking for you. Check your memory. Sometimes someone close to you has more information than you do.
  • No one is as cool and calm as they seem. Everyone is scared. Everyone is a little lost from time to time. Many people have their own defenses to keep people from getting too close to the truth of who they are. If you try and copy someone because you believe in outward appearances, you’ll find yourself disappointed many, many times. People trying to appear perfect at all costs are often the ones with the deepest, darkest secrets and the ones who are the most scared of showing who they really are.
Intuition Works
  • Trust your gut. God gave us a wonderful thing called intuition. It’s woven from subconscious observations, learned truths, eternal truths, brains far more sophisticated than any computer, and your conscious experiences. If something doesn’t seem right, pay attention. If someone makes your skin crawl, there may be a backstory you need to know. If you just ‘don’t feel like’ going with friends or trying something new, maybe there’s a reason. Listen to your echoes.

To be continued tomorrow…

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Part 2 here: Adulting Pt 2

Part 3 here: Adulting Pt3

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com

© 2017 Beth Terry, CSP • All Rights Reserved

Monday Morning Gratitude

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Quick Gratitude Fix For Your Week

Gratitude Beth Terry
Gratitude instantly shifts Attitude

 

Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.

Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.

You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.

I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.

This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.

If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!

The Neurological Benefits

After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.

The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?

When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!

List Your “Gratitudes.”

Remember the good others have done for you.

Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.

Be kind to yourself.

Bless Yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry, Beth Terry Events

PS – Don’t forget to check out my new book for Parents and those who need to Re-Parent themselves!

@2017 Beth Terry
Resilience can be shared and taught! Help your kids thrive!

 

Monday Morning Gratitude

Posted on by — 2 Comments ↓

Quick Gratitude Fix For Your Week

Gratitude Beth Terry
Gratitude instantly shifts Attitude

 

Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.

Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.

You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.

I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.

This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.

If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!

The Neurological Benefits

After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.

The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?

When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!

List Your “Gratitudes.”

Remember the good others have done for you.

Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.

Be kind to yourself.

Bless Yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry, Beth Terry Events

PS – Don’t forget to check out my new book for Parents and those who need to Re-Parent themselves!

@2017 Beth Terry
Resilience can be shared and taught! Help your kids thrive!

 

Uncommon Common Sense Leadership

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Leadership Isn’t Always from the Front

Leadership @2017 Beth Terry, CSP
~ Leadership is Fluid

I’m proud of my girl Chenty. She’s a successful manager in a Hawaii retail operation. I’ve always known she’d do well. As a teenager, she was a wonderful basketball coach for her sisters and friends. Sports is one of the great ways to learn how to be a Leader, how to share success, and how to occasionally lose and be gracious about it. (Hollywood could learn a few things from my girls right now!)

Chenty will be 33 in a few days. That’s a magical age and a wonderful number. It’s the beginning stretch of one’s “real” career life. Amazing opportunities and new doors await. I’m excited and proud of her for her work ethic and her willingness to take on these new responsibilities. (Not all “Millenials” are sitting around waiting to be taken care of!)

Pondering what gift to give for this special birthday, I remembered an inspirational leadership book from 1994. Thumbing through its well-worn pages dotted with scribbles and torn post-it notes I realized I’d used this book more than I thought. Not only did it guide my management style, it was a key to my parenting style. Looking at the arc of history with both managing employees and raising kids, it was evident how practical, effective and true these words were.

Leadership Means Being Accountable

What is this great book? Flight of the Buffalo by James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, colleagues and peers of Tom Peters. I sheepishly admit I originally bought it because of the name. I’ve collected Buffalo carvings since I was a little girl in South Dakota. It turned out to be the best Leadership book I ever read. As I scan it I can see how many of these principles settled into to the core of my Life and Management philosophies. It was that profound. So “Thank You” to Belasco and Stayer.

Perhaps the most compelling message is how vital it is for Leaders to take responsibility for whatever mess/success/direction their company takes. Leadership MUST be accountable. Pointing fingers, assigning blame, deflecting criticism, denigrating the competition, muddying the waters and building stronger barn doors after the livestock have run amok is a surefire guarantee for failure. (Again, Hollywood & DC, are you listening? I’m not being political, I’m making a practical business observation here!)

The chapter and paragraph titles give you a sense of their Uncommon Common Sense: Mistakes tell you where the oil isn’t; Beware sleeping with Corpses; Business is a Cycle; What do Customers Really Buy?; Avoiding Victimitis; Upward Delegation is a Curse… It’s worth a look at the titles alone.

The most important message? Human Beings WANT to succeed. They WANT to be led, encouraged, celebrated, and made to feel they are an important part of the success of the company. We all need to be needed, to feel our lives are worth something and our contributions matter.

The authors don’t know I’m writing this. It’s my New Years Gift to you. Go buy this book. Buy it in paper form so you can write on it, highlight it, put exclamations in the borders and fill it up with post-it-notes. Buy copies for your management teams!

Often in business we are looking for the next big thing or the latest thought leader. Looking back a few decades or even centuries can yield wonderful insights to carry you and your organization into the new year with success and positive impact.

Take care of yourself and your team! The world NEEDS successful companies and people!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved