What a wild ride it has been. Trips out to Southeast Asia, to Canada, to every state in the United States! Half a million people and more than 3,000 speeches. Many visits to the TSA with 3 million air miles and countless more road trips.
I have been blessed to live my dream of being a Professional Speaker, with topics on everything from Resilience and Change, to Critical thinking and Decision Making, to Customer Service and Conflict Resolution. I’ve sold over 15,000 copies of my books and coached nearly 100 people to Professional Speaker Status.
Over the years I’ve been able to work with an amazing array of wonderful people. If you’re reading this, you are probably one of them. It’s such an honor to be invited into corporate and associate settings to deliver their messages of motivation and information. And it’s a privilege to work with individuals as they work towards becoming Pros on stage in their own right.
I’m still here!
I’m still giving presentations. I’m still writing books. And I’m still coaching people to be better speakers and speech writers. It has been a roller coaster sometimes with the wonky economy we had the last decade or so. But still, looking out into the audience and watching those popcorn poppers go off in people’s eyes tells me this is important work.
I believe in people. I know we are in a tough time in this country with a lot of divisiveness. But I also know that deep down most of us want the same things: 1) to make it through our day; 2) to take care of someone or something we love; and 3) to improve our lives in some way. People are people whether in Madison, South Dakota or Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. We’re all pedaling as fast as we know how. We all have good days and challenging days.
If I can be there for you or for your people to turn the challenging days into life lessons, and to celebrate your successes, then I’m happy.
Let me know how I can serve you. And know that I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.
So once again: Thank You, Mahalo, Gracias, Salamat, Xièxiè, Terima kasih, and Tnx eh?
A hui hou (Till we meet again.)
@2019 Beth Terry Events • BethTerry.com • All Rights Reserved
The Anthem Christmas Tree looks like it’s made of Fireworks!
The old man sat on a bench near the Christmas tree a few days after Christmas. It was apparent he played Santa in one of the big Metro stores nearby. He had an all-knowing look, kind eyes, the requisite white beard, and a gentle laugh that I swore sounded a bit like, “Ho Ho Ho.”
I was taking a break from paperwork and sat in a welcome patch of sun breaking through the clouds. It was colder than usual in the desert, and I tightened my coat around me. He seemed oblivious to the chill in the air.
We sat silently near each other after the cursory greeting of strangers. Startling me out of my reverie, he turned to me, “It’s going to all work out,” he said softly. I laughed and shrugged it off.
“What? What’s going to work out?”
“Whatever is wrinkling that brow of yours.”
I just nodded and looked at the pavement, fighting off tears.
It had been a year since my divorce. I escaped to Phoenix afterwards. New to the desert, I was still trying to find my way in a new life. That elusive concept of “Life Purpose” would peek out from behind bushes and flit away just as I thought I had it. It’s amazing how quickly things can disintegrate, even when we think we have life all figured out. My late father was fond of saying, “Honey, life just isn’t a straight line. Enjoy all your gifts and abundance while you have them. You never know when they will disappear. No guarantees, sweetie. No guarantees.”
The old man continued, “You know all of this. But it looks like you need to hear it again.”
I looked at him and smiled.
You can decide to make any day your “New Year”
“This is your new year. Even if it were the dead of summer, you can decide to make any day your ‘New Year.’ You know that. You also know the five secrets to making it a good new year…”
“I do?” I was now regretting starting this conversation. I grew up as a minister’s kid. Living in my father’s house was like living in a sermon. Every single day. I chuckled to myself and decided to honor this nice man by listening to him.
“Yes. Of course you do. In fact, you probably told all of this to your kids and to anyone else who would listen. So here goes:
“One: Forgive everybody.”
I nodded, “Yeah. I actually wrote that in one of my books.”
He laughed, “I know.”
“How do you…. Oh never mind…”
The old man continued, counting on his fingers:
“Two: Trust and Love yourself,
“Three: Remember to detach,
“Four: Live in Grace,
“Five: Express Gratitude Every Day.”
He slapped his thighs and chuckled. Then he stood up and walked away. Just like that. No further explanation. He was right, I knew this. And so do you. But at the beginning of any New Year, it’s good to remember the simple truths that make Life worth living.
Remember the simple truths
Here are my thoughts on his five secrets…
Forgive everybody. Forgive your self first. Forgive your parents. Forgive clients who didn’t hire you, and the ones who did. Forgive your kids. Forgive your neighbors. Just let it go. Don’t waste your life holding on to grudges and past insults. Most people aren’t cruel, they’re just clueless. Or they’re distracted and not paying all that much attention to you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you let them off the hook. It just means you don’t carry all that weight around with you. How can you move forward dragging the weight of the world? You can’t.
Trust and Love yourself. This should be self-explanatory, but it’s not always easy to do. Social media has made us question our selves and our sanity. Comparing ourselves to online fiction posted by most people makes it hard to trust our own judgment. Here’s a general rule you can follow on social media – It’s All PhotoShopped! So much of what is printed on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all the rest is just plain fake. No one looks as good as their Instagram photos. No one had THAT much fun on their vacation. Don’t compare. Look in the mirror and love your imperfect, wacko, not always sane self! Trust your instincts. Your ‘gut’ knows more than you realize.
Take a Deep Breath and DETACH
Remember to Detach. Step back from social media, step away from big crowds for a bit. Let go of relatives who make you crazy (love them from afar!) Forget trying to control other people. BREATHE. The reason you didn’t get my “required” New Years post is I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of all the noise. I was practicing what I preach. Hopefully today you are back to work and able to take a few minutes to read something uplifting!
Live in Grace. It is a natural human thing to be flawed. We are not ever going to be perfect and we shouldn’t try to be. Start by extending grace to yourself. Look at your flaws and see which ones are actually charming, which ones are NBD (no big deal), and which ones can be tweaked slightly to keep you out of trouble. Be grateful for those things that make you unique. Don’t try to model yourself after other people. You don’t know their challenges or their pain. And while you’re at it, extend Grace to others. See # 1.
Express Gratitude Every Day. If you’ve known me for more than a millisecond, you know I say this a lot. It’s one of the things that keeps me from going crazy. When everything seems like it’s falling apart, I stop and look around. I name 10 things I’m grateful for, even if it’s something as mundane as, Thank you ADOT for paved roads. I’m thankful for indoor plumbing (when I was a kid, I stayed on a farm that didn’t have this. I get it!) I’m grateful for my sweet little PugWawa sleeping under my desk. And, most importantly, Thank you God for helping me figure out the next steps in my life!
Happy New Year!!
I’ve said a lot of this before. I’m just reminding you to take care of yourself! You deserve to have a wonderful 2019. Detach from 2018. Let it go. Learn the lessons and celebrate the blessings. And write to me to let me know how you’re doing!
Blessings and Happy New Year!
OH – and a huge PS – Listen to me tomorrow (Thursday, January 3) at Noon MST on National Business Radio.
Today I thanked several people for their contributions to my life. The answers?
“Oh, it was nothing…”
“No big deal.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
I want to shake them and remind them that it’s a ripoff to not accept someone’s compliment or thanks. Let me be grateful for you, Dangit!
Here’s a thought… my grandma used to say, “Accepting someone’s gratitude with grace is the 11th commandment.”
So when someone compliments you, thanks you, appreciates you, and acknowledges the joy and blessing you are in their life… Just Say, “You’re Welcome!”
The human condition is such that we need to practice day-to-day civilities as much as possible. There’s too much trouble in the world. Too many grumpy and thin-skinned people. Too many people who make a hobby out of being offended and annoyed. ENOUGH.
Gratitude is a two-way street. It’s healthy. It opens you up for more abundance and joy in your life. And at the end of the day it sure feels a lot better than being a grouch and a grinch all day. I recently did seminars on Life Balance in Hawaii and created a page for my attendees. I’ll share it here in the spirit of Thanksgiving, because I’m Thankful for YOU.
In keeping with the theme of gratefulness this Holiday Season, let’s start showing more gratitude for the gifts that have been bestowed upon us, and when someone acknowledges the gift we are to them, acknowledge it back.
Ok, I just needed to say all of that. I want your life to be better than you ever thought it could be.
Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.
Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.
You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.
I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.
This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.
If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!
The Neurological Benefits
After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.
The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?
When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!
List Your “Gratitudes.”
Remember the good others have done for you.
Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.
Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.
Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.
You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.
I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.
This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.
If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!
The Neurological Benefits
After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.
The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?
When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!
List Your “Gratitudes.”
Remember the good others have done for you.
Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.
Knock it off! Life can be good if you let it be. Look for positive moments, no matter how small. Ignore what you think others think of you. Celebrate little triumphs. Breathe deep and find new Life perspectives. Our selfie-culture makes random strangers’ opinions more important than our own. Instead, celebrate that which makes you unique, happy, centered, healthy and wise.
Stop. Look up from your mobile devils – er devices! Look around. Step back from social media and ask what you desire; what you deserve in your life; what makes you successful and happy. Hint: it’s not 20,000 followers. It’s human contact. One-on-one conversations. Meaningful dialog. Interesting activities that engage more than your two thumbs.
Three thoughts:
Don’t worry what others think.
They aren’t thinking about you. Don’t give yourself too much credit. Focus instead on being who your dog thinks you are…
If you think people are paying so much attention to you, ask random people to recap what you posted 10 days ago. (No fair looking!) They. Don’t. Know. Ask what you wore last week. Same response: Shrug. Focus on those who really matter: family, close friends, clients, those who can help you and those who need your support.
Stop putting things off for “some day.” How long do you think you have?
Flying over the Alaskan glaciers
Every year I have this goal: “I want to learn two new things this year, and one of them should scare me a little.”
I’m a pilot. While in Alaska a few years ago, I jumped at the chance to fly in a home built Supercub over the glaciers. It was the thrill of a lifetime. Scary too! See those snowshoes in the photo above? Those are attached to the wing in case we crashed and had to hike out! Yikes! Scary and so amazing!
What’s your goal? What’s on your bucket list? What do you do each year to give you more perspective on life? How long do you think you have?
People did something to insure your freedom. Respect that!
Be grateful – every day.
For every little thing: paved roads, indoor plumbing, lights that work, people who are willing to protect you, farmers and ranchers who grow your food, a roof over your head. Look around! Your life is comfy because other people did a thing. Say your ‘gratitudes’ every day upon waking.
I’m constantly amazed at how wonderful the infrastructure is in Phoenix. Our road crews rock! Thank you @ADOT! How they keep everything so well paved in crushing summer heat is a mystery, and I’m very grateful they do!
Look around. There are hundreds of things that people do for you every single day. Be grateful for all the little things that work well and all the people who make it happen. (And yes, I’m talking to you #Kaepernick!)
Gratitude goes a long way to making your day better and it also makes the day of the person you thank along the way. #Respect #Perspective!
Our trip on this spinning ball only lasts about 70-80 revolutions around the sun if we are lucky. Take advantage of every special day. Learn from your mistakes. Keep your head up and be grateful. Life can be good if you learn from the past and keep moving forward.
Flowers Bloom in harsh circumstances; you can, too.
A young man was explaining to me why his life sucked. He told me he couldn’t succeed until he had “enough.” That’s a relative term. What is ENOUGH? And why aren’t you enough? It sounded like an excuse to me.
The real question? Are you grateful for – and using all the resources you already have? Or are you waiting for more to appear before you move forward with your dreams? What are you willing to do to find the “more” that you believe you need? How about starting with gratitude? When you live in gratitude and recognize what you have, then you can stop wistfully looking at others’ successes and start working on your own.
I recently spoke with a woman whose husband built a multi-million dollar business from scratch.
She told me, “I always thought when we finally made it that I wouldn’t worry anymore. But there’s never enough. We may have more zeroes in our checking account than you do, but our stack of bills has more zeroes as well!”
That’s a powerful concept I never forgot. When looking at others from the outside, we make up stories about their lives. Most of the time we’re wrong, and comparing ourselves to a false assumption is dangerous. Where do we get these silly notions that other people’s so-called good fortune is “NOT FAIR?”
Is it good fortune or was it the result of dedication and hard work? What is “Fair?” My brother has worked tirelessly for 8 years, EIGHT YEARS, on an invention that may soon make it to market in a big way. I know he has worked 14-18 hours a day, seven days a week, month in and month out for almost 100 months. I know how dedicated and committed he is. I know the sacrifices he and his family have made. Yet there will be people who will be jealous when he finally has what they consider to be more than his “fair” share. But these people aren’t willing to put in the time, effort and money it takes to see a dream to fruition.
What are you willing to do with the gifts you were given? How many hours will you dedicate to an idea or a concept that may make the world better? What are you willing to risk to see it through to the end? How much time is enough to dedicate to successful deployment of this gift, this skill, this concept? Will you give up and whine that “it’s not FAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRR!” when you don’t become an overnight millionaire?
Simple Truth: the majority of people who have what you consider to be “enough” were the people who stayed up late and got up early; the people who read and researched; the people who kept at it until the puzzle could be solved. They weren’t sitting on the couch playing video games and watching reruns of Friends, wistfully wishing they could be rich, white 20-somethings living in a rent-controlled apartment in NYC in the 90’s. (Note to those who dream like that… there were very few, if any, people living like that in the 90’s. It’s a TV SHOW, not reality.)
What is Enough to you? What is enough ambition; enough ideas; enough time; enough money; enough inspiration; enough roof over your head and a full belly? We all get the same 24 hours in a day. How will you use yours?
TL;DR
Harsh circumstances don’t need to stop you from your goals.
Take Risks. Put in the time it takes. Do the work.
Be grateful for what you have and don’t have. (PS – you have enough.)
Pay attention to ideas and thoughts that flit through your brain and use them in a wise way to make the world better because you were born.
Thanks for listening.
Take care of yourself, we need you!
PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love
PSS – aren’t those flowers beautiful? That’s the sage and Mexican Bird of Paradise in my front yard… in the desert no less!
PSSS – TL;DR means “Too Long, Didn’t Read” – so I put a recap there for people with short attention spans. You’re welcome.
Does your Past interfere with your Present and your Plans for the Future? Knock it off!
Losing our Future in our Past
I spoke at an event for abused kids. Most of them were pre-teens, and most had been through some therapy after being lifted out of a bad situation. One girl was stoic. She didn’t react to anything and didn’t show any emotion for the first hour.
At one point, I surprised myself and blurted, “Look. That bad person may have stolen your past. Don’t let him steal today and for sure don’t let him steal all your tomorrows.”
That was the bolt of lightning this girl needed. She let out a shriek and slumped in her chair sobbing. I was new to speaking and didn’t know what to do. As I helplessly moved towards her to comfort her, one of the therapists signaled she would step in. Another woman came up and hugged me with tears in her eyes, “Thank you, thank you, thank you. We haven’t been able to get through to her since she came to us over a year ago. Her abuse started very young.”
I learned more from that little girl and that moment of inspiration than I have in all my decades on stage. That sentence wasn’t in my speech, and until I arrived, I wasn’t sure what the message was supposed to be. I had written a rather weak, “We are here for you…” type speech, but wasn’t prepared for the emotional wreckage I would encounter. I believe that statement was dropped into my brain at exactly the right moment, and I know that little girl needed to hear that message.
Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from your past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows.
This is a lesson for all of us, no matter our circumstances. Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from the past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows. Too many of us drag around bags full of knives from our ancient hurts. When we decide to wallow in self-pity, we pull out some knives and stab ourselves in the heart again and again. Or, we’ll call up a few friends and talk to them at great length about those knives we are using to destroy a perfectly lovely afternoon.
Stop. Put the knives away. Put down the heavy blanket of the past. Realize the only things you need to carry forward are the lessons and the blessings. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made. Make amends if you can. If you can’t, silently forgive the other person who caused you harm. (Yes, you can do that! Read this…) You learned something, you got wiser, you don’t make the same mistakes now (hopefully!) and you are a better – or more compassionate – or less naive – person for having gone through it.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep paying attention to your blessings TODAY. Keep learning and keep forgiving yourself and others. It’s the only way to stay sane!
Have a wonderful April.
And thanks to all my readers and clients who sent me birthday wishes! It was a grand day! Life is good!
Blessings,
Take care of yourself, we need you!
PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love
