Is Your Past Beating Up Your Future?

Does your Past interfere with your Present and your Plans for the Future? Knock it off!

MightHaveBeen, ©BethTerry, CSP
Losing our Future in our Past

I spoke at an event for abused kids. Most of them were pre-teens, and most had been through some therapy after being lifted out of a bad situation. One girl was stoic. She didn’t react to anything and didn’t show any emotion for the first hour.

At one point, I surprised myself and blurted, “Look. That bad person may have stolen your past. Don’t let him steal today and for sure don’t let him steal all your tomorrows.”

That was the bolt of lightning this girl needed. She let out a shriek and slumped in her chair sobbing. I was new to speaking and didn’t know what to do. As I helplessly moved towards her to comfort her, one of the therapists signaled she would step in. Another woman came up and hugged me with tears in her eyes, “Thank you, thank you, thank you. We haven’t been able to get through to her since she came to us over a year ago. Her abuse started very young.”

I learned more from that little girl and that moment of inspiration than I have in all my decades on stage. That sentence wasn’t in my speech, and until I arrived, I wasn’t sure what the message was supposed to be. I had written a rather weak, “We are here for you…” type speech, but wasn’t prepared for the emotional wreckage I would encounter. I believe that statement was dropped into my brain at exactly the right moment, and I know that little girl needed to hear that message.

Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from your past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows.

This is a lesson for all of us, no matter our circumstances. Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from the past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows. Too many of us drag around bags full of knives from our ancient hurts. When we decide to wallow in self-pity, we pull out some knives and stab ourselves in the heart again and again. Or, we’ll call up a few friends and talk to them at great length about those knives we are using to destroy a perfectly lovely afternoon.

Stop. Put the knives away. Put down the heavy blanket of the past. Realize the only things you need to carry forward are the lessons and the blessings. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made. Make amends if you can. If you can’t, silently forgive the other person who caused you harm. (Yes, you can do that! Read this…) You learned something, you got wiser, you don’t make the same mistakes now (hopefully!) and you are a better – or more compassionate – or less naive – person for having gone through it.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep paying attention to your blessings TODAY. Keep learning and keep forgiving yourself and others. It’s the only way to stay sane!

Have a wonderful April.

And thanks to all my readers and clients who sent me birthday wishes! It was a grand day! Life is good!

Blessings,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love

 

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Your Legacy: What will they say about you?

In 200 years we’ll all be gone… what’s in YOUR legacy?

©2008-2015 Beth Terry, EverybodysLost.com
What will our descendants think of our choices?

Right near the now-closed Greasewood Flats northeast of Phoenix is a place called Reata Pass. I took the photo above sometime in the early 2000’s, before the rich and famous co-opted it and turned it all into “Troon North.” In the early days of the southwest, it was the place to stop if you were a rider for the Pony Express. The Old West couldn’t have survived or thrived without these cowboys delivering the news from far off lands.

Much has been written about the romance of those Old West days. Today across the country the Cowboy Mounted Shooters and the Single Action Shooting teams gather to re-enact what was an everyday occurrence for the cowboys of old. The best place to catch this is in Arizona at Winter Range in February.

It’s fun to reminisce about “the old days.” But in doing so, think about this: what seems quaint and old-timey to us, was just an every day occurrence for them. Ask your teenager what they think about the 70’s or 80’s — to THEM your old photos and nostalgia about Betamax, 8-track tapes, Pong and stories of one phone in the house are quaint and old-timey. You were just living your life, much the way you are living it now. While we are in it, it doesn’t seem ‘historical’ or ‘quaint’ or ‘old-timey.’  With some hindsight, we review some of our choices, and more than a few Baby Boomers now mutter to themselves, “What the hell was I thinkin’?”

While we are living our life, it doesn’t seem ‘historical’ or ‘quaint’ or ‘old-timey.’

In 100 or so years, when there are no survivors left from today, what will historians piece together about our choices and our legacy? Will they wonder why we gave up our privacy so easily? Will they wonder why preserving our eco-systems wasn’t a primary concern for all of us? Will they marvel at our obsession with taking selfies? Will they thank us for the amazing innovations and the plethora of blogs on every topic from cooking to politics to relationships? Or will all our words crumble like so much dust inside King Tut’s Tomb?

Think about it. In less than 100 years, we’ve gone from a few lone traveling photographers making people stand still for minutes at a time, capturing stiff people on a daguerrotype … to everyone from age 5 to 95 taking pictures of themselves with a cell phone! Will that fad last? Will we finally get tired of photographing ourselves? Is that our legacy?

If not, what IS your legacy? What are you leaving behind? Will your life choices make sense in the lens of the year 2115? Does it matter what you are doing now? Is the world a better place because you were in it? What one thing can you leave your descendants to help them make sense of your life and theirs?

Food for thought on this beautiful Saturday in Phoenix.

Just because the world is crazy doesn’t mean YOU have to be!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved