Are you Enough?

Enough-ness and Gratitude

Gratitude and Grace help us bloom in the desert. (c) Beth Terry, CSP
Flowers Bloom in harsh circumstances; you can, too.

A young man was explaining to me why his life sucked. He told me he couldn’t succeed until he had “enough.” That’s a relative term. What is ENOUGH? And why aren’t you enough? It sounded like an excuse to me.

The real question? Are you grateful for –  and using all the resources you already have? Or are you waiting for more to appear before you move forward with your dreams? What are you willing to do to find the “more” that you believe you need? How about starting with gratitude? When you live in gratitude and recognize what you have, then you can stop wistfully looking at others’ successes and start working on your own.

I recently spoke with a woman whose husband built a multi-million dollar business from scratch.

She told me, “I always thought when we finally made it that I wouldn’t worry anymore. But there’s never enough. We may have more zeroes in our checking account than you do, but our stack of bills has more zeroes as well!”

That’s a powerful concept I never forgot. When looking at others from the outside, we make up stories about their lives. Most of the time we’re wrong, and comparing ourselves to a false assumption is dangerous. Where do we get these silly notions that other people’s so-called good fortune is “NOT FAIR?”

Is it good fortune or was it the result of dedication and hard work? What is “Fair?” My brother has worked tirelessly for 8 years, EIGHT YEARS, on an invention that may soon make it to market in a big way. I know he has worked 14-18 hours a day, seven days a week, month in and month out for almost 100 months. I know how dedicated and committed he is. I know the sacrifices he and his family have made. Yet there will be people who will be jealous when he finally has what they consider to be more than his “fair” share. But these people aren’t willing to put in the time, effort and money it takes to see a dream to fruition.

What are you willing to do with the gifts you were given? How many hours will you dedicate to an idea or a concept that may make the world better? What are you willing to risk to see it through to the end? How much time is enough to dedicate to successful deployment of this gift, this skill, this concept? Will you give up and whine that “it’s not FAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRR!” when you don’t become an overnight millionaire?

Simple Truth: the majority of people who have what you consider to be “enough” were the people who stayed up late and got up early; the people who read and researched; the people who kept at it until the puzzle could be solved. They weren’t sitting on the couch playing video games and watching reruns of Friends, wistfully wishing they could be rich, white 20-somethings living in a rent-controlled apartment in NYC in the 90’s. (Note to those who dream like that… there were very few, if any, people living like that in the 90’s. It’s a TV SHOW, not reality.)

What is Enough to you? What is enough ambition; enough ideas; enough time; enough money; enough inspiration; enough roof over your head and a full belly? We all get the same 24 hours in a day. How will you use yours?

TL;DR

Harsh circumstances don’t need to stop you from your goals.

Take Risks. Put in the time it takes. Do the work.

Be grateful for what you have and don’t have. (PS – you have enough.)

Pay attention to ideas and thoughts that flit through your brain and use them in a wise way to make the world better because you were born.

Thanks for listening.

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love

PSS – aren’t those flowers beautiful? That’s the sage and Mexican Bird of Paradise in my front yard… in the desert no less!

PSSS – TL;DR means “Too Long, Didn’t Read” – so I put a recap there for people with short attention spans. You’re welcome.

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Life is Not a Straight Line

Life is Not a Straight Line

Life is not a straight line

Life takes some pretty interesting dips and turns as you age, if you are lucky enough to age. Just because you are successful today doesn’t mean you will be in 5 years. Just because you are healthy right now doesn’t guarantee you will be healthy forever. The reverse is true as well. If things don’t seem to be going your way, nothing says it will always be like this.

That’s the beauty of the Resilience of the Human Spirit. You can and you will bounce back. Your choices matter, so if your life sucks, start making new and different choices. As Albert Einstein famously said,

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

 Experience teaches us all that Life can change on a dime. Ask the girl who was texting and driving. She ran up onto the curve, hit another car, nearly killed someone else and found herself in the hospital for a year. All for typing, ‘OMG’ on her phone while piloting a 4,000 pound vehicle down a city street.
It’s very easy to believe you are immortal and things only happen to other people. Remember: life can change in an instant. This is a reminder to make better life choices for yourself.

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Secret to Successful Relationships

Secret to Successful Relationships

work with people where they are
Work with people where they areWork with people where they are, not where you want them to be.

As I struggled to learn how to be a manager, mom, girlfriend and then wife, Dad gave me this advice: the secret to successful relationships is to stop trying to make people live up to your idea of who they are. Try this: be with them in their current state.  Start where they are instead of trying to take them on a journey made up of your own goals.

Try this old trick —

Write your name as fast as you can three times.

Now switch hands and write your name as fast as you can three times with that hand.

Notice that your handwriting looks like a Doctor’s Prescription? Why is that? It’s because it is natural and normal for you to use your dominant hand. I just asked you to do something that is not natural and normal for you. Your brain is hardwired to use one hand. Notice how you felt when you were trying to write. If it was easy for you, then you have a different talent than most. Most people aren’t ambidextrous. I’ve seen people stick their tongues out trying to write with their non-dominant hand when I do this exercise. I write backwards when I try it!

So here I was trying to change how you write and you couldn’t do it. If you can’t even write with a different hand, how do you expect other people to change a lifetime of habits and thoughts just because you said they should?

People aren’t going to change because it’s convenient for you. They will change when they are damn good and ready to change. You may be able to assist them if they are ready. But only when they are ready. Meanwhile, if you love them the way they are and work from that point, they may give you the same courtesy and accept you the way you are. It’s all give and take.

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

The Real Secret of Success

 Market yourself to yourself…

Secret of SuccessThe Real Secret of Success is to Market Yourself to Yourself

The secret of success is to remember that you matter. When you believe in yourself you are far more marketable and authentic.

If you don’t believe in yourself, then who will? How will you get up in the morning and motivate yourself to get out and fulfill your dreams and your potential? It’s easy to forget that we can positively impact the lives of others. It’s easy to get so wound up in our own troubles and our own mental myths that we don’t understand that we are missed and our smile is needed out in the world. Get up tomorrow morning and resolve to share a little more of yourself with the people who love you.

Notice how you react when you talk with someone who just doesn’t feel authentic. You aren’t motivated to work with them, are you? What your subconscious mind is telling you is that they don’t believe in themselves. If they don’t, why should you? Work on this within yourself and see your successes soar.

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved
 

Remember Who You Are

Remember Who You Are
What my Dad would say when I got lost

Remember who you are

We are bombarded daily with images and messages telling us to be someone we aren’t. We are told to fear judgments from other people: “There might be retribution, there might be consequences, don’t be quirky, don’t be different, wait… be different — but not too different… oh don’t be THAT. Be unique but don’t make me uncomfortable. OK, I want you to be just like ME, not like YOU!”

Take a step back. Define yourself, baby. Define yourself. You only get so many rotations on this spinning green planet. Don’t lie on your deathbed wondering what happened and regretting your life choices. Live your life while you are alive!

A pastor at the Kailua, Hawaii Unity church once said something profound. I quote him when someone starts telling me who I am. I smile sweetly and say, “If I am living my life, and you are living my life… then who is living your life?” It works like a charm.

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved
 

Remember Who You Are

Remember Who You Are
What my Dad would say when I got lost

Remember who you are

We are bombarded daily with images and messages telling us to be someone we aren’t. We are told to fear judgments from other people: “There might be retribution, there might be consequences, don’t be quirky, don’t be different, wait… be different — but not too different… oh don’t be THAT. Be unique but don’t make me uncomfortable. OK, I want you to be just like ME, not like YOU!”

Take a step back. Define yourself, baby. Define yourself. You only get so many rotations on this spinning green planet. Don’t lie on your deathbed wondering what happened and regretting your life choices. Live your life while you are alive!

A pastor at the Kailua, Hawaii Unity church once said something profound. I quote him when someone starts telling me who I am. I smile sweetly and say, “If I am living my life, and you are living my life… then who is living your life?” It works like a charm.

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved
 

Ten Paradoxical Commandments: Anyway

Anyway, by Kent Keith

10 Commandments Kent Keith, Anyway
Anyway

Ten Paradoxical Commandments

Many years ago I received a wonderful little book by Dr. Kent Keith from our local university, Chaminade in Honolulu, Hawaii. I loved his advice, first given in a speech, in which he basically said, people and situations can be really screwed up. Oh Well! Love them anyway. Don’t give up. Keep on loving, giving, growing and becoming yourself.

Dr. Keith says he was pleased to see someone had sent Mother Teresa his speech, and was even more pleased that she used it in her ministry with the poor. She had it on her wall on a poster named “Anyway.” Someone saw Mother Teresa use these commandments and decided she was the originator of them. She wasn’t, but she did a wonderful service by encouraging the spread of this wonderful advice. You can find a powerful video by Martina McBride with this theme: Martina McBride – Anyway

Enjoy,

Cheers,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved
 

Bob Marley on Life & Success

Bob Marley on Life and Success

Bob Marley on Money“Money Can’t Buy Life…”

These were Bob Marley’s final words to his son Ziggy. We live in a time when people revere and worship celebrities. They dream of finding massive fame and fortune and forget the simple pleasures found in friends, family, love and tuning in with nature the way Marley did. (Yes, he tuned in with some nature a little more than others <grin…>)

Marley’s simple statement is a reality check for all who chase the almighty dollar and ignore family, friends and health. He could have been a materially wealthy man by all accounts. His records sold millions and his name was familiar in all corners of the globe. But he lived humbly and simply for most of his life.

Here’s a video of the conversation: Bob Marley on Money

It’s not all the selfies we post that will make us immortal, it’s the footprints we leave on other people’s lives and hearts.

“Money can’t buy Life…” Words to live by.

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved