Bethisms Archives ~ Page 2 of 8 ~ Beth Terry

Make Communication Easier

Posted on July 24, 2018 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

Communication is garbled and less effective in this mega-information age.

Here’s a way to fix that.

@1998-2018 Beth Terry, CSP, Communications — Frame your communications to provide context and perspective

Changing Communication Patterns Cause Confusion

Text messages might be quick, but they lack context, emotion, intent, and clarity.

Emails are often typed out on our phones, leading to shortcuts, typos, and misinterpretation.

Extensive use of social media has stunted our ability to put together meaningful communication. We find ourselves writing to the lowest common denominator and much is lost in translation.

Getting people to read more than a few hundred words is a challenge, yet that’s where the nuances and real communication can take place.

So – what can we do?

“Give people a place to put the information you’re sharing. Think of it as building a shelf in their brain to help them organize and think about what you say.” Rev. CH Terry (my dad)

A brain shelf for communication? That works. Set up a frame to help your listener hear you and think about your message. Make sure you communicate four key things:

@1989-2018 Beth Terry, CSP, Communications — Framing a conversation sets the stage for understanding communications

Tell them what you’ll tell them • Tell them • Recap it • Reinforce it

FIRST ~

Tell people the desired outcome. In a performance review, say, “I really want you to succeed in this position…” Now everything you say after that will be viewed with your intention in mind. They aren’t second-guessing you, or thinking they’re fired. “I want this company to do very well.” That’s a sentence you can use as you introduce new strategies. “I want us all to be proud of the conference we are planning.” Each of these set the stage for success.

SECOND ~

The old “what’s in it for me?” rule always applies. ALWAYS. Even selfless people who don’t think they listen for this are just ignoring reality. People need motivation. “Why should I listen? Why should I do this? I have a busy life. I’m tired from work. I have concerns at home. WHY Do I care?”

THIRD ~

Give an overview of next steps. Don’t go into all the details. “Today we’ll review several things we’d like to help you with.” “Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page on logistics for the conference.” Like that. Don’t launch into the logistics. Just tell them what you’re about to do.

FOURTH ~

Tell them why you are doing this. The “why” may or may not be identical to the Desired End Result. “I want you to succeed here.” “I want you to live long enough to see your grandchildren graduate from college!” (What I said to my teenager who was about to get a Driver’s License!**) Make this a motivational, inspirational sentence that leads them into the conversation at hand.

Then go into your carefully thought-out, brilliant, persuasive, organized talk.

For more information on Communication Strategies, contact me and we’ll talk. I have more than 20 different presentations on this topic that is near and dear to my heart!

Blessings,

Beth

** If you would like a copy of the Drivers License Agreement I wrote for my teenagers, please contact me and I’ll happily send it to you for free!

Life Balance is a Choice

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Work and Life Not Balanced? Make a Choice

©2018 Beth Terry, CSP Balance is a Choice — Balance comes from good choices

It’s nuts out there. Nothing seems to be in balance. You probably noticed. The Economy’s improving: that’s good. Fuel prices going up: not good. Social Media a little too powerful and nosy: not good. Politics: more divisive than ever – bad. Immigration: conflicting information – bad. Healthcare, ARRRRGH!

How do you stay in balance in the midst of this? How do you cope with the fire hose of information and disinformation? How do you know what’s true? I find myself longing for a flight back to my teens when I just had to worry about mean girls, cute boys, and homework. That’s an oasis I’ll never get to revisit.

Be responsible for finding your own balance in the midst of craziness.

What do we do? How do we find that elusive work and life balance? How do we cope? How do we do more than cope? There has to be a silver lining, a rainbow, somewhere in the middle of this storm.

I have wrestled with this storm, and I have good news. As cliché as it may sound – difficult times are opportunities for growth. Dark, stressful times in life force us to look hard at previous choices and make better ones. They open doors for learning and refining who we are and how we live. Maybe we got too far out on a limb. As long as we’re still alive, there’s time to inch back towards the center and choose better.

No matter what, choose to make the next choice a good one

Here’s the deal, no matter how stressed and crazy things feel, decide your next choice will be good. Increments work. One choice at a time. One breath at a time. Yep, you screwed up in the past. OH WELL! Breathe.

Ask this: What can I do right now, right here, to make things a tiny bit better? What can I choose to do, to think, to read? Who can I choose to call? What step can I take that will move me a little closer being better balanced?

Choose. That’s the key word. What’s important? What can you learn? Where can you pull in a little? Where can you put energies where they matter most? Put down the phone. Stop checking Facebook every two seconds. Go outside. Enjoy the magnificent view, even if that means looking up at the sky. For one minute focus on breathing.

Choosing means NOT choosing something else.

Once we choose this we are not choosing that. If we choose to be financially healthier, we are choosing not to spend money on things that don’t matter. If we choose to be physically healthier, we choose not to spend too much time as a couch potato or eating foods that are bad.

Choice is an interesting thing. If it’s forced, or if our commitment is half-baked, it probably won’t work. But when we commit with all our energy to that choice, magic happens.

In order to find life balance, think of one or two small changes that need to happen in your life. Focus your energy and do what it takes to make that happen. One step at a time. Don’t go overboard and try to change your entire life all at once. Your head might explode. Just a small change here, a small choice there: 10% more exercise today. One less cup of coffee. Pack your lunch three times this week. Like that.

Balance in life comes one choice after another. If you think you have to do a huge thing, you’ll become overwhelmed and may not have the energy or willpower to see it through. There’s nothing like small successes to feed big ones.

Look, you’ll make it through this, just like you made it through all the crazy times in your life up to now. You will survive the same way: one breath and one step at a time.

Stay happy and healthy!

Beth

Other Posts on this topic: Pay Attention! How to Adult Pt 3 Gratitude

Life Balance is a Choice

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Work and Life Not Balanced? Make a Choice

Be responsible for finding your own balance in the midst of craziness.

What do we do? How do we find that elusive work and life balance? How do we cope? How do we do more than cope? There has to be a silver lining, a rainbow, somewhere in the middle of this storm.

No matter what, choose to make the next choice a good one

Choosing means NOT choosing something else.

Choice is an interesting thing. If it’s forced, or if our commitment is half-baked, it probably won’t work. But when we commit with all our energy to that choice, magic happens.

Look, you’ll make it through this, just like you made it through all the crazy times in your life up to now. You will survive the same way: one breath and one step at a time.

Stay happy and healthy!

Beth

Other Posts on this topic: Pay Attention! How to Adult Pt 3 Gratitude

Learn 2 New Things -Teach ESL in 2018

Posted on June 8, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

This year I’m training to be an ESL Teacher!

I am 12 hours away from being certified to Teach ESL through the ITA – International TEFL Academy! If you want to join me in this great endeavor, contact Danielle Lupo here

Beth ESL Teacher, ©2018 Beth Terry, CSP — Beth Teaches on numerous platforms and stages, now including ESL!

Why would I choose to Teach ESL when my plate is full with other speaking engagements, writing, raising my PugWawa and traveling? Because Literacy matters, that’s why. There are many different ways to share your knowledge. I’ve told you before, Teachers change lives!

Reading and Literacy improve a person’s chances to be successful in the world. It lowers the chances of poverty, delinquency in teens, and depression. When you can open a book and comprehend what you are reading, you learn about far-flung places, you learn to put your life in perspective, you learn about Critical Thinking, you aren’t as easily fooled or manipulated. Everyone Wins with a rising tide of literacy.

Learn Two New Things – this time Teach ESL

I have often written about my wonderful College Professor who encouraged us all to keep learning. “Learn two new things every year, and one should scare you!” was his mantra. It keeps you alive and dynamic. It keeps you from losing your mind in the same-same numbness caused by being in a rut.

I know that a lifetime of learning and reading has kept me interested and (some say) interesting. It has been shown thousands of times that one’s life is enhanced and prolonged when learning and reading are part of the daily ritual.

I was reminded of this last week when I lost one of my favorite people in the world. Wink Blair was a human dynamo and left us at age 97. She published a book well into her 90’s on her Grandfather, a Civil War Veteran. Her husband Richard Sutz is the CEO of The Literacy Company and author of numerous books on how to read faster and better. Both Richard and Wink have inspired me to keep learning, to keep sharing and to keep the faith that our words and deeds matter.

As we head into the hot hot hot Phoenix summer months, I urge you to take a moment to think about ways you can share your knowledge, your “mana’o” (as we say in Hawai’i) with the world. I don’t know how you feel, but I’m getting pretty tired of all the hate, all the derision and scorn, and all the media stirring up negative feelings within families and friends. Take a step back. BREATHE. Think how you can make the world a tiny bit better because you were here.

Blessings,

Beth

@2018 Beth Terry, CSP • All International Rights Reserved. If shared, please use attribution

Resilience Podcast from Australia

Posted on May 11, 2018 by — 2 Comments ↓

MORE Resilience Podcasts with Beth about parenting made easy

Take time to listen to two Resilience Podcasts about raising kids in this topsy turvy world. With so many different elements influencing your children daily, you want to be the one in charge of their influences. Don’t allow strangers to raise your kids. Be the grownup. This book has wonderful tools, helpful hints, checklists, and sage advice for any parents struggling to help their kids grow to be wonderful, accountable, responsible adults.

http://www.parentingambitiousteens.com/bethterry

Beth on Live Radio Interview – With Podcast Available Now

Beth Terry Resilience Kids — Beth’s New Book on Raising Resilient Kids

Beth Terry was interviewed live in the States and in Australia. Listen to Beth discussing her latest book, Resilience Not Included: How to help your kids bounce back

We reported this on CactusWrangler as well. Be sure to check out the PERFECT gift for moms this Mother’s Day and every day.

We have the store set up so when you order this e-book, Beth sends it to you directly, along with a couple of extras. So don’t worry that it doesn’t download right away. We’ll send it to you along with a personal note from Beth!

Here’s the store link click here

Thanks for stopping by! Please leave a comment below.

And have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

(call your mom!)

Blessings,

Belief Fuels Action

Posted on April 6, 2018 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Funny how Belief helps you find time and money!

There are always things we wish we could buy… things we think we can’t live without, but, there’s that little matter of the checkbook. Belief plays into this. If I don’t believe it matters, I’ll put it off: I’d love a new car but, eh, mine is working just fine. It doesn’t resonate as a “must have.” It’s easy for me to talk myself out of things (except, of course, new books!)

It feels like I bought everything I needed last decade. Now my mantra is, “How hard will it be to get rid of this when I don’t need it anymore?”

Then something caught my eye. I decided to add a skill to my client offerings: ESL – English as a Second Language. I believed it was worth it to sign up for a TEFL course! I’m now working to get my “Teaching English as a Foreign Language” certificate! I’m excited to learn new things and add information and options to my toolkit. The experience of being in school again and re-visiting writing and grammar principles has been exhilerating.

The difference between spending money on stuff and spending it on experience and knowledge is this: the first gives you headaches, the second gives you OPTIONS!

These days I’m more interested in buying knowledge and comfort than new stuff that will just have to be dusted, filled, fed, painted or sold on ebay later.

Information that makes my business better; books to take me on adventures; items to make travel easier – those are things I have money for. I believe in them. I believe I need them. Other’n that, meh…

Stuff is fleeting ~Experience is forever.

Things need to be dusted, cleaned, worried about, and managed. Experience can take you to the next level. Experience can help you find work later in life. It gives you perspective and a different level of joy. What are YOU looking for?

Here’s a quote to ponder next time you’re thinking about buying a new toy:

“Going to a junk yard is a sobering experience. There you can see the ultimate destination of almost everything we desire.”

Roger Von Oech

All the best on your journey as you follow your Beliefs and your Dreams!

Cheers,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Seven Practical~Tactical Goal Secrets

Posted on January 2, 2018 by Beth Terry — 4 Comments ↓

Achieve Your Goals Strategically This Year!

Goals © 2018 Beth Terry — Goals can be achieved incrementally

Coach gave me life-changing advice when I competed in Olympic Weightlifting. His keyword? Incremental. One Step at a Time, One Improvement at a Time.

Coach Tommy Kono advised us to take it easy if we’d been away from the gym for a week and especially the day after a meet. He’d say,

“Start small
“Increase weight in small incremental steps
“Don’t overdo it
“Don’t pay any attention to what everyone else is doing
“Compete with yesterday’s achievements, not the burly guy on the next bench.”

His magic words “Next Time” focused us on improvement a little at a time. Next Time I’ll add five pounds; Next Time I’ll do five more reps; Next Time I’ll drink more water with dinner.

This is who we see at the gym in January (is this you?) ~ slightly overweight, gritted teeth, sweating profusely, unsure … But they are there. With grim determination, they work out on every machine available, even if only for a few moments. They get hurt or wear themselves out. A few gymrats make fun of them and they never return.

My Olympic Weightlifting colleagues and I would make an effort to cheer these people on. We gave them advice based on what we learned from Tommy. Our coach Tommy Kono, was one of the 100 Golden Olympians, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s inspiration, Olympic judge and Olympic gold medalist.

Seven Steps to Get You There

Following Tommy’s lead, here are seven practical-tactical secrets for achieving your New Year’s Resolutions, Goals, Weight-loss Dreams, or whatever you’re working on:

Be Realistic. If you try to lose 30 pounds in a month it’ll be from a hospital bed! Instead, break that into incremental, do-able, execute-able steps and weight loss goals. Two pounds a month, or half pound a week.
Be Kind. You ARE where you are. Oh WELL! You didn’t get here overnight. Love yourself enough to take that first step. Then the next one. And the next. You can do this.
Ditch the Blame. It doesn’t matter if your best friend smokes and that’s why you do. Or your sweetie is a chef (mine is!) and the food is just too delicious to turn down. Look in the mirror. Those are your hands putting that cigarette (food, whatever) up to your lips. Blame is useless and a distraction.
Take Responsibility. This is YOUR life. This is YOUR body. This is YOUR career. Take those daily steps to ensure it will be amazing. Act as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Write it Down. Age-old wisdom tells us the act of writing out goals and plans cements them into our psyches. We can read them daily. We can post them on the fridge or bathroom mirror. Making goals measurable helps.
Get a Goal Buddy. Find someone who needs help with accountability. Work on your goals together. If they’re far away, use Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or some other app to check in daily. Otherwise, get them to go to the gym with you.
Don’t Stop. Just because you miss a day or a week, don’t use that an as excuse to stop. Keep going. Pick it up again. Start small and increase incrementally.

You got this. You can do this. One day at a time.

SHARE – what are YOUR Goals for 2018?

Blessings in 2018!

Seven Practical~Tactical Goal Secrets

Posted on January 2, 2018 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

Achieve Your Goals Strategically This Year!

Coach gave me life-changing advice when I competed in Olympic Weightlifting. His keyword? Incremental. One Step at a Time, One Improvement at a Time.

Coach Tommy Kono advised us to take it easy if we’d been away from the gym for a week and especially the day after a meet. He’d say,

“Start small
“Increase weight in small incremental steps
“Don’t overdo it
“Don’t pay any attention to what everyone else is doing
“Compete with yesterday’s achievements, not the burly guy on the next bench.”

His magic words “Next Time” focused us on improvement a little at a time. Next Time I’ll add five pounds; Next Time I’ll do five more reps; Next Time I’ll drink more water with dinner.

Seven Steps to Get You There

Following Tommy’s lead, here are seven practical-tactical secrets for achieving your New Year’s Resolutions, Goals, Weight-loss Dreams, or whatever you’re working on:

Be Realistic. If you try to lose 30 pounds in a month it’ll be from a hospital bed! Instead, break that into incremental, do-able, execute-able steps and weight loss goals. Two pounds a month, or half pound a week.
Be Kind. You ARE where you are. Oh WELL! You didn’t get here overnight. Love yourself enough to take that first step. Then the next one. And the next. You can do this.
Ditch the Blame. It doesn’t matter if your best friend smokes and that’s why you do. Or your sweetie is a chef (mine is!) and the food is just too delicious to turn down. Look in the mirror. Those are your hands putting that cigarette (food, whatever) up to your lips. Blame is useless and a distraction.
Take Responsibility. This is YOUR life. This is YOUR body. This is YOUR career. Take those daily steps to ensure it will be amazing. Act as if your life depends on it, because it does.
Write it Down. Age-old wisdom tells us the act of writing out goals and plans cements them into our psyches. We can read them daily. We can post them on the fridge or bathroom mirror. Making goals measurable helps.
Get a Goal Buddy. Find someone who needs help with accountability. Work on your goals together. If they’re far away, use Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or some other app to check in daily. Otherwise, get them to go to the gym with you.
Don’t Stop. Just because you miss a day or a week, don’t use that an as excuse to stop. Keep going. Pick it up again. Start small and increase incrementally.

You got this. You can do this. One day at a time.

SHARE – what are YOUR Goals for 2018?

Blessings in 2018!

In Holiday Overwhelm? Cyber Month Deal

Posted on November 27, 2017 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Happy Holidays!

Here are two gifts for you: First, your Holiday Card, and second, a few wonderful discounts to make your packing and shopping easier!

Enjoy Your Holiday Card!

Download

Hint: for best viewing, click on this little dohickey in the bottom right hand corner^

And here’s a special from my store: (I called it Cyber Monday – But it’s Cyber Month really – through December 22)

Our End of Year Clearance helps you get out of Holiday Overwhelm!
Buy any item(s) from our store and

include at least ONE Walking in a Crowd of Angels book.

We’ll give you a whopping 25% Discount

plus FREE-SHIPPING!

Use this code

CYBERMONDAY

Special ends on December 22, 2017

To use discount code, go to Checkout page and click on
“Use Gift Card or Promo Code”
just above your credit card number.
QUANTITIES LIMITED. SALE LIMITED TO STOCK ON HAND.
Please forward to friends and share on Facebook!

Note – if you purchase any of our digital products, we will email them to you directly. We are still working out the kinks for the digital store. Soon, soon!

Don’t forget to read Holiday Advice from last week

Breathe! Enjoy your Holidays. Don’t let the Grinches in the world spoil your opportunity to stop and smell the pine trees. Remember, all we have is NOW. All we know is what we know. Keep learning. Keep your mind open to new information and new possibilities. And give yourself the gift of peace.

Go to my store and pick up a couple of deals!

PS – But WAIT, there’s MORE! 😀 If you order 10 of Anything in the Store, I’ll add two more in the box as a Holiday Bonus! This offer only good while supplies last. And… still free shipping! (see info about Walking In A Crowd of Angels in the sidebar to your left.)

Enjoy Your Day! I know I am!
Blessings,

Some Life Rules for the Holidays

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

Holidays are coming up

Here are some Life Rules to Help You Survive

Holiday Rules to remember — Cactus can be beautiful, so can that person driving you nutso

Here are a few tips to make your Holidays a little less wonky.

There is beauty everywhere, even on the side of a prickly cactus
If you don’t tell people [employees, friends, lovers, kids, family] what’s going on, they make it up. And it’s never in your best interest.
When you’re in a tunnel, go with the flow. Breathe.
People can’t hear you with their shoulders over their ears. Don’t put people on the defensive! It never works.
Sometimes the only solution is to put your head down and push through it
Kids are the only ones who will tell you the whole truth – if you let them. They haven’t had it socialized out of them yet. But they will most definitely lie to you to save themselves. So don’t think it’s all unicorns and rainbows with kids.
Appreciating your kids and each other gets a lot more dishes washed and clothes picked up than criticizing them. Works on spouses, too.
You can get through this. Just focus on the good things. This too shall pass.
People sacrificed a lot to make your life comfy; gratitude is the appropriate response
Laughter heals the soul
You are the only person who is 100% affected by every choice you make from the day you are born till the day you die. Make better choices.
Assume for a moment that you really don’t know everything and there may be another side to whatever is making you crazy.

I’ll add a few more of these in the next few days. Just remember, it’s only a small chunk out of your life. Listen to each other and hold back the judgment. You could be wrong. If you are convinced they are, oh well. It’s not your job to force people to think like you!

Blessings!

Beth

PS – Check out my new page on being a Presenter Mentor™! I want to help the next generation of managers and leaders be amazing when they give a talk or lead a meeting!