Category Archives: Inspire Me

Quotes and Notes

Vitamin D(og) is Good for the Soul

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Dogs make you go outside and play… and that’s a good thing!

© 2017 Beth Terry, EverybodysLost.com
Get a Dog, they’ll make sure you get your Vitamin D(og)!

Arizona has 300 days of sunshine a year. With that kind of sun, one would think we’re all swimming in Vitamin D, which most people get from sunlight. Vitamin D helps the body metabolize calcium and low levels can be a precursor to osteoporosis.

Studies have shown the population of Arizona isn’t taking full advantage of those sunny days. We stay indoors or run from the house to the car to the office or store. With our legendary summers trending 100+ days straight of “triple digit” temps, turns out we’re conditioned to stay out of the sun!

Ah – the hikers and bikers are yelling at me, “Well WE go outside!!” Yes, I know, but nearly one quarter of the Caucasian population, one third of the Hispanic population and half of the African-American population in Arizona were found to be Vitamin D deficient.

Turns out I’m one of them. I was advised to take supplements. To do more weight bearing exercises. To drink more milk and eat more Kale. Instead, I got a dog.

Rescue A Dog!

Dogs make you go outside. They need to be walked, to be potty-trained and mostly they need to play. PLAY!

My happy little rescue appears to be part Chihuahua, part Antelope and definitely part Cat. She forces me to go outside. She’s still a one year old puppy and wants to play “The CLAW” with me. When the door is opened, she leaps outside like a young deer and bounds across the lawn.

If you peeked over my fence, you would see a ridiculous 65-year old woman racing back and forth across the lawn squealing, “The claw… the claw is going to get you!” Then you’d see a wonderful six- pound puppy racing with the wind, dodging and turning, faking left and right while I run after her. She grins and makes what I swear are a combination of a yelp and a meow, then takes off at high speed to the other side of the lawn. I have never been more grateful for putting grass in my back yard than I am today.

After three months of this newfound exercise program, I returned to the lab to check my Vitamin D levels. I had forgotten to refill my Vitamin D supplement, and I’ve never been fond of dairy. Turns out running around for an hour a day in the back yard chasing a dog has raised my Vitamin D levels perceptibly.

They say petting a dog is good for your heart. It’s also good for the soul and your bones. Go rescue a dog today! I promise the dog will rescue you back! It’ll do you good and keep the doctor away!  (If you are in Phoenix, PACC911 unites the entire pet rescue community. Look online for rescue groups in your region.)

Blessings,

Welcome Love and a Pet into your Life Today,

Beth Terry

All Rights Reserved. ©2017 Beth Terry, CSP

Celebrate Attraction Day!

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Today we celebrate Attraction!

© 2017 BethTerry.com
Life goes on within you and without you

Today our minds are on Attraction and Love. Engagement ring companies, Florists, restaurants and candy companies are having a field day. You hear many things at the water cooler – “What do I give my Love on this auspicious day?” “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” “This is a big deal!” “This is a bogus holiday pushed by greeting card companies! Bah humbug!”  “I love Valentine’s Day! Wheee!” “Oh, crap! It’s Valentines Day?!” “I’m gonna ask her to marry me today! Yikes!” “Well, another stupid holiday!”

I don’t believe in the “Law of Attraction.” If there is one, a lot of people are breaking the law! There’s no rhyme or reason why we’re attracted to anyone. If you ask, most people can’t tell you why. Sure, armchair psychologists will attribute it to daddy or mommy or some 3rd grade teacher. But who knows, really? Will that couple make the long haul? The ones we think won’t make it seem to last forever and the “perfect couple” break up in a few years! Why? Who knows? And the world goes on, day in and day out, whether or not you’ve found THE ONE.

There’s no accountin’ for taste! Love makes no sense!

My friends in college made no sense to me. Let’s call them Jack & Jill. He was a burly construction worker with a mouth on him. Partied hard with hard-drinkin’ friends who never got the memo on minor things like hygiene and manners. She was a beauty. A southern belle with manners. You know her, the one with her pinky finger extended while drinking mint julep. She was operas and the local playhouse. He was Pink Floyd and the local bar.

When they met we all rolled our eyes. Bets were taken on how long “this” will last. We’d go to their house for BBQ and he’d entertain his friends in his man-cave garage, hard rock blaring. We’d be in her finely appointed living room with concertos playing on the stereo. Never gonna last. Right? Well, I just read that Jill lost her knight in rusty armor. They were together 45 years till he died of lung cancer. The photos showed a finely appointed southern belle in a black hat and veil standing by her lifetime Love as they lowered him into the ground. You just never know. Love makes no sense.

So – enjoy your day. Love someone. Go to the Animal Shelter and love a rescue pup. If you don’t have someone, go to the homeless shelter and help serve meals. Get hold of your friends with kids who could use a night out with their sweetheart and offer to babysit. I’ve spent years with no one, and years with someone who was there but not there. I’ve had times of being loved deeply and profoundly. Life offers us the entire constellation of possibilities when it comes to Attraction. Do we bring it on – maybe. Do we ignore it sometimes or miss it entirely? Absolutely.

Life is not a straight line. What you have today, you may not have tomorrow. Enjoy where you are, how you are, why you are, and who you are. And no matter what, Have a Happy Celebration of Love Day!

Welcome Love into your Life Today,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Happy Lunar New Year!

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Chinese New Year is a Huge Celebration in Hawaii

The New Year Celebration lasts for two weeks, and is greeted with more enthusiasm than our traditional New Years Eve. For that reason, I searched for my photo of a rooster on Kauai, because this is the year of the Rooster.

 

2017 is the Year of the Rooster

Of course, I couldn’t find the rooster photo. I’m sure it’s in my files somewhere. I found many multiple copies of other photos. These were often photos of people I don’t know, or wonderful down-memory-lane photos that sent me scurrying to look for more of those. Maybe our entire decade should be called the Decade of the Rabbit Hole!

Do you do that too? Do you find yourself working on one project and in the process of searching for whatever you need, you spend two hours reminiscing or looking at things that have nothing to do with the project? I call that the Rabbit Hole. It’s fun, but not terribly productive. It’s also the reason this post is a little late!

Lunar New Year usually falls between 4 and 5 weeks after our traditional one. I think of it as a reset after failing to remember any of my New Year Resolutions from December 31. Feel free to join in! In Hawaii, our Chinese New Year Celebration means amazing food with friends and family, wonderful fairs and parades, and lots of fireworks.

The theory is that blowing fireworks will scare away the bad luck demons and you’ll have a wonderful year. Since I didn’t have fireworks and my neighbors get fussy about loud noises in in the middle of the night, I went online and found this – ENJOY!

Now go make some new New Year Resolutions. Mine will be to finally get my photo collection organized!  Technology was supposed to make life easier! Instead we have more to organize, more websites to monitor, more photos of people we don’t know… Oi!

There are many ways to spell it and many different things that are said in Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean and other Asian languages at this time of year. In Hawaii we say Kung Hee Fat Choy! However you say it, take every chance you get to celebrate Life, Love, Happiness, Prosperity, Joy, Family and Friends.

It’s all good… Life is tough, take moments here and there to enjoy yourself.

Take care and Happy New Year!

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Happy Lunar New Year!

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Chinese New Year is a Huge Celebration in Hawaii

The New Year Celebration lasts for two weeks, and is greeted with more enthusiasm than our traditional New Years Eve. For that reason, I searched for my photo of a rooster on Kauai, because this is the year of the Rooster.

 

2017 is the Year of the Rooster

Of course, I couldn’t find the rooster photo. I’m sure it’s in my files somewhere. I found many multiple copies of other photos. These were often photos of people I don’t know, or wonderful down-memory-lane photos that sent me scurrying to look for more of those. Maybe our entire decade should be called the Decade of the Rabbit Hole!

Do you do that too? Do you find yourself working on one project and in the process of searching for whatever you need, you spend two hours reminiscing or looking at things that have nothing to do with the project? I call that the Rabbit Hole. It’s fun, but not terribly productive. It’s also the reason this post is a little late!

Lunar New Year usually falls between 4 and 5 weeks after our traditional one. I think of it as a reset after failing to remember any of my New Year Resolutions from December 31. Feel free to join in! In Hawaii, our Chinese New Year Celebration means amazing food with friends and family, wonderful fairs and parades, and lots of fireworks.

The theory is that blowing fireworks will scare away the bad luck demons and you’ll have a wonderful year. Since I didn’t have fireworks and my neighbors get fussy about loud noises in in the middle of the night, I went online and found this – ENJOY!

Now go make some new New Year Resolutions. Mine will be to finally get my photo collection organized!  Technology was supposed to make life easier! Instead we have more to organize, more websites to monitor, more photos of people we don’t know… Oi!

There are many ways to spell it and many different things that are said in Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean and other Asian languages at this time of year. In Hawaii we say Kung Hee Fat Choy! However you say it, take every chance you get to celebrate Life, Love, Happiness, Prosperity, Joy, Family and Friends.

It’s all good… Life is tough, take moments here and there to enjoy yourself.

Take care and Happy New Year!

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Soundtrack to Success with Resolutions

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How are you doing today with your Resolutions?

Resolutions ©2017 Beth Terry, CSP
A few Secrets to Keeping Resolutions

You started out with great energy and enthusiasm. “This is the year I’m keeping my New Years Resolutions! Quitting Smoking; Losing Weight; Spending more time with Family; Finding time to read; using Social Media the right way, Blogging more, Facebooking less…”  Ahh – but today is the beginning of the 2nd week of the New Year, and here you are, smoking, eating chocolate, buried on @Imgur and @Facebook and @Instagram while those goals go un-resolutely undone.

Here are three ideas.

Create a Soundtrack for your Success. The first Secret? MUSIC baby! We are all motivated by music. Find your favorites and make a soundtrack to play when you need to get going. I have Dwight Yoakam playing right now. That revs up my cowgirl heart big time! Find yours! I’m energized and have checked off three things on my Resolutions list today, including writing this, all while dancing around the office.

One technique I’ll use for simple tasks is to put on a favorite high-energy song and tell myself I need to finish the task before the song ends. Then I’m racing against the song, and mindless or repetitive tasks get done quicker. If it’s a longer project, put on an album and finish before the album does. It’s more fun than slogging through for hours and complaining the whole time.

Don’t Overwhelm Yourself by gathering all your work into one ugly pile!

Break it up! Piles of work leering at you from every corner will dropkick you into Overwhelm in no time at all. Don’t do that to yourself. We are capable of doing things well if we break down our projects into steps and then focus only on that one step at a time. That’s how you can use that one song-one task technique above.

If you want to lose weight, don’t try to lose 30 pounds in a month. You’ll get sick and you just won’t do it. INCREMENTS! Increase exercise by 10% each day. Reduce calorie intact by 10% each day. Drink more water. Slowly shift habits: eat earlier, take a walk each night, make it work for you. Cut out one thing a week or month: white flour and white sugar are good places to start if you’re dieting. Do what works for you and congratulate yourself on your small successes. It works! Increments help you not feel deprived.

Time Yourself. The song trick works. So does a clock or timer. Competing against yourself is energizing. Buy a small noisy timer or set a timer on your phone that shows countdown.  You’ll be amazed how much you can do in 20 minute chunks. Say this: “For the next 20 minutes I’ll clean off my desk.” “For the next 10 minutes I’ll organize bills.” “For the next two songs I’m filing receipts for the year.” Do it this way and stop when the timer goes off or the song ends. Now you know where you have to pick it up again tomorrow or later today. Bonus: you are uncluttering your space and clearing your mind.

Be sure and Celebrate your successes. Every small success leads to a bigger Resolution being met!

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

How to have a Happier New Year

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Happy New Year!

 

Are you a diamond in the rough? Is life a little wonky right now? I wrote this column in my other blog way back in 2009 and it came to mind again. I overheard my Dad counseling someone who had lost his job: Diamond in the Rubble

I’ll add my own two cents to this — it’s my surefire way to move beyond all the stuff that’s making you nutso ~~~

The best way to have a Happier New Year is to look at your past few years objectively without beating yourself up. Take these quick steps:

  1. Write down briefly what happened.
  2. Think about how you may have participated in making things harder for yourself. Accountability & Responsibility are wonderful antidotes to stress and guilt. Just own it and move on.
  3. Ask yourself what you would do differently if you could. This gives you ideas for a new blueprint.
  4. Think about how you can change, modify, alter some of your behaviors and choices for the future. These are what we usually call “Resolutions.”
  5. Take a deep breath and forgive yourself for past choices and choose now to make better ones. If you want to be dramatic, take a pen and cross off all the dumb choices you made. Then take that list out to your BBQ and set it on fire… or put it in the shredder as a symbolic way to dump the trash and get ready for a NEW and shinier year.

This is a simple process. It works. I do it every year on the night before my birthday and the evening before the New Year. I usually write item #1 on a separate piece of paper. The ideas for change – my resolutions – are on a new piece of paper that I can keep and post somewhere in my office.

The most important efforts in the above list are the ones that involve taking responsibility for our own mess and forgiving ourselves. Everybody messes up. Learning from it is the real gift. Dumping all the guilt and trash from it is a secondary and important gift as well.

This has been a rough year in many ways. It seems the whole country is at each others throats. Relax. Be willing to listen to each other. Have conversations instead of yelling and hurling epithets. We all see the world from our own unique perspective. Maybe the person you are mad at has a perspective you haven’t thought of. None of us has a corner on the truth. And, really, ignore politicians, celebrities and lobbyists with a bone to pick. Remember, they are all getting paid to say the things they say. You are better than that. Think for yourself and resolve to have a happier new year.

You can do this.

I’m hangin’ right in there with you.

Happy New Year! Happy New You.

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

How to Stay Sane this Holiday

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Are you a Holiday Elf? Or is it tough this time of year?

Stay Sane This Holiday Season

Ho ho ho Holiday … Harumph?

Happy Holidays turning into Harried Holidays?

Holidays are historically more stressful than other times. Not only do we miss loved ones that passed away, our expectations create anxiety.

In childhood most were taught this is a “magical time” – so we should be happier. Most kids love it. Adults often resist Holiday Magic. Some work at inoculating themselves against wonder, joy, magical feelings, amazement, delight…

Instead, we worry. A lot. We worry about buying the right gift, credit card bills in January, will the storm windows hold another season, will my car start tomorrow, are my thighs too fat, is my hair thinning and will my cowboy hat cover the bald spot?

Then there’s the added burden of the “perkiness factor.” We’re supposed to suspend all our usual grumpiness and just be happy. Happy Happy Happy Holidays – bleah.

Many people just don’t want to be happy. It’s too hard. They wish the holidays would go by quickly. Some have old memories and wounds that get in the way. Some have had a tough year so it’s not easy to be perky.

Here are 7 tips to enjoy the Holidays. Hey, it could be your last, you never know. Celebrate ANYWAY.

  1. You don’t need to do it all yourself. There are people who clean house, wrap gifts, cook, file, walk the dog, and all that good stuff. They need employment during the holidays and we need you to be sane. Hire them.
  1. Not everyone needs a gift from you. Write a note, an e-mail or call them. The joy of the holidays is in connecting with those you love. Connection = Priceless. Or if a gift is in order, the perfect gift may be a gift certificate for a book, spa, beauty parlor, or golf course. (Or, of course, one of my books!) Find things that are easy to wrap, easy to mail, easy to transport.
  1. People move. Find them online. Snail mail will come back. Start a basket for returned correspondence. Follow up at your leisure. Set aside time to handle correspondence and be done with it a little at a time. Keep track of new addresses (and while you are at it, I no longer live in Hawaii…)
  1. Create a holiday budget and stick to it. Carry only enough cash for holiday shopping & a few unexpected surprises along the way. Selectively leave high interest credit cards home. If you shop online, keep a log of purchases to track your spending.
  1. Be conscious of what you eat, but don’t try and diet right now. Try eating healthy food before you leave for parties. Apples are great because they have a chemical that stems hunger. Drinking water before, during and after parties will also keep you from over eating and over-imbibing. If you drink, remember Prevent DWI with DD.W.T.S. – Designated Driver, Walk, Taxi (or Lyft/Uber), Sleep it off
  1. Be Aware – Be safe. Situational Awareness is your friend. Pay attention to others in parking lots and stores. Watch your purses and wallets. Don’t carry more than you have to. Don’t flash money in front of other people. If your intuition sounds a warning, pay attention. Get into the habit of locking your door the moment you get in your car. Have packages delivered to friends if you won’t be home when the UPS guy shows up.

TIPS: Ladies, when you put on your seat belt, slip the belt through your purse handle first. If someone tries a smash & grab (breaking the window to get your purse) it will be secured. If you load your trunk, toss your purse into the trunk or over the back seat first while holding your keys in your hand, then lock the car while the trunk is open. That locks all the other doors, protects your car and contents, and removes temptation to grab your purse off your shoulder or out of your cart while you are distracted. If you load gifts into your trunk, don’t leave the car and walk away. That invites auto theft or theft from your vehicle if the bad guys are watching.

  1. Be kind to each other this season. Even if you aren’t stressed, remember that other people may be. Not everyone finds this a jolly time of year. Ramp up the consideration and tolerance a little. Take lots of deep breaths, and don’t take it all so seriously. We are in this world together. Consideration, kindness, generosity and patience go a long way to reducing the collective stress on the planet.

Take care of yourself this Holiday Season! We need you!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

How to Stay Sane this Holiday

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Are you a Holiday Elf? Or is it tough this time of year?

Stay Sane This Holiday Season

Ho ho ho Holiday … Harumph?

Happy Holidays turning into Harried Holidays?

Holidays are historically more stressful than other times. Not only do we miss loved ones that passed away, our expectations create anxiety.

In childhood most were taught this is a “magical time” – so we should be happier. Most kids love it. Adults often resist Holiday Magic. Some work at inoculating themselves against wonder, joy, magical feelings, amazement, delight…

Instead, we worry. A lot. We worry about buying the right gift, credit card bills in January, will the storm windows hold another season, will my car start tomorrow, are my thighs too fat, is my hair thinning and will my cowboy hat cover the bald spot?

Then there’s the added burden of the “perkiness factor.” We’re supposed to suspend all our usual grumpiness and just be happy. Happy Happy Happy Holidays – bleah.

Many people just don’t want to be happy. It’s too hard. They wish the holidays would go by quickly. Some have old memories and wounds that get in the way. Some have had a tough year so it’s not easy to be perky.

Here are 7 tips to enjoy the Holidays. Hey, it could be your last, you never know. Celebrate ANYWAY.

  1. You don’t need to do it all yourself. There are people who clean house, wrap gifts, cook, file, walk the dog, and all that good stuff. They need employment during the holidays and we need you to be sane. Hire them.
  1. Not everyone needs a gift from you. Write a note, an e-mail or call them. The joy of the holidays is in connecting with those you love. Connection = Priceless. Or if a gift is in order, the perfect gift may be a gift certificate for a book, spa, beauty parlor, or golf course. (Or, of course, one of my books!) Find things that are easy to wrap, easy to mail, easy to transport.
  1. People move. Find them online. Snail mail will come back. Start a basket for returned correspondence. Follow up at your leisure. Set aside time to handle correspondence and be done with it a little at a time. Keep track of new addresses (and while you are at it, I no longer live in Hawaii…)
  1. Create a holiday budget and stick to it. Carry only enough cash for holiday shopping & a few unexpected surprises along the way. Selectively leave high interest credit cards home. If you shop online, keep a log of purchases to track your spending.
  1. Be conscious of what you eat, but don’t try and diet right now. Try eating healthy food before you leave for parties. Apples are great because they have a chemical that stems hunger. Drinking water before, during and after parties will also keep you from over eating and over-imbibing. If you drink, remember Prevent DWI with DD.W.T.S. – Designated Driver, Walk, Taxi (or Lyft/Uber), Sleep it off
  1. Be Aware – Be safe. Situational Awareness is your friend. Pay attention to others in parking lots and stores. Watch your purses and wallets. Don’t carry more than you have to. Don’t flash money in front of other people. If your intuition sounds a warning, pay attention. Get into the habit of locking your door the moment you get in your car. Have packages delivered to friends if you won’t be home when the UPS guy shows up.

TIPS: Ladies, when you put on your seat belt, slip the belt through your purse handle first. If someone tries a smash & grab (breaking the window to get your purse) it will be secured. If you load your trunk, toss your purse into the trunk or over the back seat first while holding your keys in your hand, then lock the car while the trunk is open. That locks all the other doors, protects your car and contents, and removes temptation to grab your purse off your shoulder or out of your cart while you are distracted. If you load gifts into your trunk, don’t leave the car and walk away. That invites auto theft or theft from your vehicle if the bad guys are watching.

  1. Be kind to each other this season. Even if you aren’t stressed, remember that other people may be. Not everyone finds this a jolly time of year. Ramp up the consideration and tolerance a little. Take lots of deep breaths, and don’t take it all so seriously. We are in this world together. Consideration, kindness, generosity and patience go a long way to reducing the collective stress on the planet.

Take care of yourself this Holiday Season! We need you!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Is Your Past Beating Up Your Future?

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Does your Past interfere with your Present and your Plans for the Future? Knock it off!

MightHaveBeen, ©BethTerry, CSP
Losing our Future in our Past

I spoke at an event for abused kids. Most of them were pre-teens, and most had been through some therapy after being lifted out of a bad situation. One girl was stoic. She didn’t react to anything and didn’t show any emotion for the first hour.

At one point, I surprised myself and blurted, “Look. That bad person may have stolen your past. Don’t let him steal today and for sure don’t let him steal all your tomorrows.”

That was the bolt of lightning this girl needed. She let out a shriek and slumped in her chair sobbing. I was new to speaking and didn’t know what to do. As I helplessly moved towards her to comfort her, one of the therapists signaled she would step in. Another woman came up and hugged me with tears in her eyes, “Thank you, thank you, thank you. We haven’t been able to get through to her since she came to us over a year ago. Her abuse started very young.”

I learned more from that little girl and that moment of inspiration than I have in all my decades on stage. That sentence wasn’t in my speech, and until I arrived, I wasn’t sure what the message was supposed to be. I had written a rather weak, “We are here for you…” type speech, but wasn’t prepared for the emotional wreckage I would encounter. I believe that statement was dropped into my brain at exactly the right moment, and I know that little girl needed to hear that message.

Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from your past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows.

This is a lesson for all of us, no matter our circumstances. Don’t let mistakes and bad situations from the past steal your Today and all your Tomorrows. Too many of us drag around bags full of knives from our ancient hurts. When we decide to wallow in self-pity, we pull out some knives and stab ourselves in the heart again and again. Or, we’ll call up a few friends and talk to them at great length about those knives we are using to destroy a perfectly lovely afternoon.

Stop. Put the knives away. Put down the heavy blanket of the past. Realize the only things you need to carry forward are the lessons and the blessings. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made. Make amends if you can. If you can’t, silently forgive the other person who caused you harm. (Yes, you can do that! Read this…) You learned something, you got wiser, you don’t make the same mistakes now (hopefully!) and you are a better – or more compassionate – or less naive – person for having gone through it.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep paying attention to your blessings TODAY. Keep learning and keep forgiving yourself and others. It’s the only way to stay sane!

Have a wonderful April.

And thanks to all my readers and clients who sent me birthday wishes! It was a grand day! Life is good!

Blessings,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love

 

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

What Epitaph Defines You?

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What will your epitaph be?

Ted Rogers, EverybodysLost.com, epitaph
Ted Rogers was an inspiration to us all. RIP 2-7-16

My friend died yesterday, on the last day of the Year of the Sheep. Ted Rogers was 6’8” and a tower of inspiration and uniqueness. Having lunch with Ted was an adventure. His “thing” as a speaker was to get us all to eat healthier.

So, here’s how lunch would go: Those of us with Ted would dutifully pore over the menu looking for something that sounded palatable or good. Not Ted. He didn’t look at menus. The waitress would come to our table and he would say, “Do me a favor…” Those were Ted’s favorite words. “Do me a favor. I would love to have a piece of fish grilled, not fried; with a side of brown rice and a salad made of greens, not iceberg lettuce. Can you do that for me?” He would flash the waitress a charming smile and she would usually do as he asked.

Ted was so tall he looked like he was standing when he sat in a booth. His good looks and charm swayed even the toughest waitress. If she didn’t have what he wanted, he would patiently explain what his goal was and ask for her help in achieving that. And it worked! Great lessons for all of us to step outside the norm and think beyond what the menu said was available.

As I thought about him today, I realized his trademark sentence should be his epitaph, “Do me a favor…” As in, “Lord, do me a favor. Watch over my loved ones while I come hang out with you…” or for those left behind, “Do me a favor… don’t waste too many precious moments mourning me. Live your life and do the things I might do if I had more time.”

This train of thought led to thinking about the others I know and love. My sweetheart’s favorite line is, “That’s it!” I told him I would put that on his tombstone if I outlive him. Anyone who knows him would smile fondly when they read that epitaph. I think mine would probably be, “It could have been worse…” Apparently I say that so often that my little Chaude wrote a book about it when she was in the 3rd grade. The adventures included me getting lost in a desert and being pursued by a dragon. “But, Aunty Beth said, ‘Well, it coulda been worse!'”

What would your epitaph be? What do you say all the time?  How will your friends and loved ones remember you? If you don’t like the phrase you are known for saying all the time, come up with a new one! Think about it; write it down, then live into it… Write to me and let me know! I’d love to hear your stories.

Ted inspired everyone who knew him. I wish for you the same: that when you pass on, people will remember you fondly and tell their funny and heartfelt stories about you and how you impacted them.

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved