Category Archives: Bethisms

Quotes from Beth Terry’s Seminars and Books

How to Stay Sane this Holiday

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Are you a Holiday Elf? Or is it tough this time of year?

Stay Sane This Holiday Season

Ho ho ho Holiday … Harumph?

Happy Holidays turning into Harried Holidays?

Holidays are historically more stressful than other times. Not only do we miss loved ones that passed away, our expectations create anxiety.

In childhood most were taught this is a “magical time” – so we should be happier. Most kids love it. Adults often resist Holiday Magic. Some work at inoculating themselves against wonder, joy, magical feelings, amazement, delight…

Instead, we worry. A lot. We worry about buying the right gift, credit card bills in January, will the storm windows hold another season, will my car start tomorrow, are my thighs too fat, is my hair thinning and will my cowboy hat cover the bald spot?

Then there’s the added burden of the “perkiness factor.” We’re supposed to suspend all our usual grumpiness and just be happy. Happy Happy Happy Holidays – bleah.

Many people just don’t want to be happy. It’s too hard. They wish the holidays would go by quickly. Some have old memories and wounds that get in the way. Some have had a tough year so it’s not easy to be perky.

Here are 7 tips to enjoy the Holidays. Hey, it could be your last, you never know. Celebrate ANYWAY.

  1. You don’t need to do it all yourself. There are people who clean house, wrap gifts, cook, file, walk the dog, and all that good stuff. They need employment during the holidays and we need you to be sane. Hire them.
  1. Not everyone needs a gift from you. Write a note, an e-mail or call them. The joy of the holidays is in connecting with those you love. Connection = Priceless. Or if a gift is in order, the perfect gift may be a gift certificate for a book, spa, beauty parlor, or golf course. (Or, of course, one of my books!) Find things that are easy to wrap, easy to mail, easy to transport.
  1. People move. Find them online. Snail mail will come back. Start a basket for returned correspondence. Follow up at your leisure. Set aside time to handle correspondence and be done with it a little at a time. Keep track of new addresses (and while you are at it, I no longer live in Hawaii…)
  1. Create a holiday budget and stick to it. Carry only enough cash for holiday shopping & a few unexpected surprises along the way. Selectively leave high interest credit cards home. If you shop online, keep a log of purchases to track your spending.
  1. Be conscious of what you eat, but don’t try and diet right now. Try eating healthy food before you leave for parties. Apples are great because they have a chemical that stems hunger. Drinking water before, during and after parties will also keep you from over eating and over-imbibing. If you drink, remember Prevent DWI with DD.W.T.S. – Designated Driver, Walk, Taxi (or Lyft/Uber), Sleep it off
  1. Be Aware – Be safe. Situational Awareness is your friend. Pay attention to others in parking lots and stores. Watch your purses and wallets. Don’t carry more than you have to. Don’t flash money in front of other people. If your intuition sounds a warning, pay attention. Get into the habit of locking your door the moment you get in your car. Have packages delivered to friends if you won’t be home when the UPS guy shows up.

TIPS: Ladies, when you put on your seat belt, slip the belt through your purse handle first. If someone tries a smash & grab (breaking the window to get your purse) it will be secured. If you load your trunk, toss your purse into the trunk or over the back seat first while holding your keys in your hand, then lock the car while the trunk is open. That locks all the other doors, protects your car and contents, and removes temptation to grab your purse off your shoulder or out of your cart while you are distracted. If you load gifts into your trunk, don’t leave the car and walk away. That invites auto theft or theft from your vehicle if the bad guys are watching.

  1. Be kind to each other this season. Even if you aren’t stressed, remember that other people may be. Not everyone finds this a jolly time of year. Ramp up the consideration and tolerance a little. Take lots of deep breaths, and don’t take it all so seriously. We are in this world together. Consideration, kindness, generosity and patience go a long way to reducing the collective stress on the planet.

Take care of yourself this Holiday Season! We need you!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Knock it off! A little Perspective

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Perspective is a good thing!

Perspective from a Dog's view

Knock it off!  Life can be good if you let it be. Look for positive moments, no matter how small. Ignore what you think others think of you. Celebrate little triumphs. Breathe deep and find new Life perspectives. Our selfie-culture makes random strangers’ opinions more important than our own. Instead, celebrate that which makes you unique, happy, centered, healthy and wise.

Stop. Look up from your mobile devils – er devices! Look around. Step back from social media and ask what you desire; what you deserve in your life; what makes you successful and happy. Hint: it’s not 20,000 followers. It’s human contact. One-on-one conversations. Meaningful dialog. Interesting activities that engage more than your two thumbs.

Three thoughts:

  •      Don’t worry what others think.

    They aren’t thinking about you. Don’t give yourself too much credit. Focus instead on being who your dog thinks you are…

If you think people are paying so much attention to you, ask random people to recap what you posted 10 days ago. (No fair looking!) They. Don’t. Know.  Ask what you wore last week. Same response: Shrug. Focus on those who really matter: family, close friends, clients, those who can help you and those who need your support.

  • Stop putting things off for “some day.”  How long do you think you have?

Perspective: life looks small from here
Flying over the Alaskan glaciers

Every year I have this goal: “I want to learn two new things this year, and one of them should scare me a little.”

I’m a pilot. While in Alaska a few years ago, I jumped at the chance to fly in a home built Supercub over the glaciers. It was the thrill of a lifetime. Scary too! See those snowshoes in the photo above? Those are attached to the wing in case we crashed and had to hike out! Yikes! Scary and so amazing!

What’s your goal? What’s on your bucket list? What do you do each year to give you more perspective on life? How long do you think you have?

  • perspective life and death
    People did something to insure your freedom. Respect that!

        Be grateful – every day.

For every little thing: paved roads, indoor plumbing, lights that work, people who are willing to protect you, farmers and ranchers who grow your food, a roof over your head. Look around! Your life is comfy because other people did a thing. Say your ‘gratitudes’ every day upon waking.

I’m constantly amazed at how wonderful the infrastructure is in Phoenix. Our road crews rock! Thank you @ADOT! How they keep everything so well paved in crushing summer heat is a mystery, and I’m very grateful they do!

Look around. There are hundreds of things that people do for you every single day. Be grateful for all the little things that work well and all the people who make it happen. (And yes, I’m talking to you #Kaepernick!)

Gratitude goes a long way to making your day better and it also makes the day of the person you thank along the way. #Respect #Perspective!

Our trip on this spinning ball only lasts about 70-80 revolutions around the sun if we are lucky. Take advantage of every special day. Learn from your mistakes. Keep your head up and be grateful. Life can be good if you learn from the past and keep moving forward.

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

When Good Enough is OK

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Sometimes Good Enough is OK and it’s all you need

EverybodysLost.com Beth Terry, CSP
Sometimes Good enough is OK

The desert air hurts in July. When Phoenix temps soar above 111º with humidity hovering below 10%, our famous dry heat assaults our nostrils, lips and cheeks with a heavy fist. Around 4pm when the “heat island” is at its worst, I feel like a circus elephant is riding a tricycle across my chest. Nothing gets done. A siesta looms as the only option.

Today, we woke to cooler temperatures after the salvation of our first rainstorm in months. The whole neighborhood was out and about. We were as giddy as Seattleites who play hooky from work to play in the ocean on a rare sunny day.

Like most of my neighbors, I decided this was a good day to mow the lawn. I got the mower, put on my D-backs baseball cap and gathered all my tools. The mower wouldn’t start. Undaunted and energized by the relatively cool morning (87º) I began mowing my lawn with the weed whacker.

I was lovin’ my new and powerful Black+Decker Trimmer, but I discovered much to my chagrin that a weed whacker doesn’t do such a great job when you’re using it for the entire lawn! I was swinging it around, making divots like a golfer, and after half an hour my arms hurt! Great power tool! Wrong job. The photo above shows you my handiwork. When I stopped, I giggled at the results.

Meh, who cares? It was good enough! An imperfectly mowed lawn is nothing to lose sleep over, it will grow back and I’ll mow it again some day. By the same token, an unmade bed is not a crime and it doesn’t hurt for the bed to air out. Often there are more important things to do than make a bed, including an early morning hike with your sweetheart who doesn’t always have mornings off.

What you can do

With age comes wisdom and the awareness that time is finite. If only I’d known this when I was younger. Some things really don’t matter. Some things don’t need to be done perfectly – or at all!

The next time you’re stressing over a task, ask yourself a few questions:

  1. Is this really all that important?
  2. What would happen if I didn’t do this?
  3. What’s the best use of my time right now?
  4. What’s the minimum effort I can commit to finish it, and not use too much precious time? Finally…
  5. Am I properly equipped to do this, or is there someone else who could do it faster, better and cheaper?

Surrender!  It’s all good! Your home will never be perfectly clean. Your lawn will never stay perfectly landscaped. Your car will never stay perfectly shiny and neat. Your wrinkles will keep on comin’ and gravity will keep on pullin’.

You are who you are. You are fine. Do your best. Stop worrying about what others think. Truth is, they aren’t thinking about you! Don’t give yourself too much credit. They are worrying about what YOU think of THEM.

Now – go out and play! It’s Saturday!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

When Good Enough is OK

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Sometimes Good Enough is OK and it’s all you need

EverybodysLost.com Beth Terry, CSP
Sometimes Good enough is OK

The desert air hurts in July. When Phoenix temps soar above 111º with humidity hovering below 10%, our famous dry heat assaults our nostrils, lips and cheeks with a heavy fist. Around 4pm when the “heat island” is at its worst, I feel like a circus elephant is riding a tricycle across my chest. Nothing gets done. A siesta looms as the only option.

Today, we woke to cooler temperatures after the salvation of our first rainstorm in months. The whole neighborhood was out and about. We were as giddy as Seattleites who play hooky from work to play in the ocean on a rare sunny day.

Like most of my neighbors, I decided this was a good day to mow the lawn. I got the mower, put on my D-backs baseball cap and gathered all my tools. The mower wouldn’t start. Undaunted and energized by the relatively cool morning (87º) I began mowing my lawn with the weed whacker.

I was lovin’ my new and powerful Black+Decker Trimmer, but I discovered much to my chagrin that a weed whacker doesn’t do such a great job when you’re using it for the entire lawn! I was swinging it around, making divots like a golfer, and after half an hour my arms hurt! Great power tool! Wrong job. The photo above shows you my handiwork. When I stopped, I giggled at the results.

Meh, who cares? It was good enough! An imperfectly mowed lawn is nothing to lose sleep over, it will grow back and I’ll mow it again some day. By the same token, an unmade bed is not a crime and it doesn’t hurt for the bed to air out. Often there are more important things to do than make a bed, including an early morning hike with your sweetheart who doesn’t always have mornings off.

What you can do

With age comes wisdom and the awareness that time is finite. If only I’d known this when I was younger. Some things really don’t matter. Some things don’t need to be done perfectly – or at all!

The next time you’re stressing over a task, ask yourself a few questions:

  1. Is this really all that important?
  2. What would happen if I didn’t do this?
  3. What’s the best use of my time right now?
  4. What’s the minimum effort I can commit to finish it, and not use too much precious time? Finally…
  5. Am I properly equipped to do this, or is there someone else who could do it faster, better and cheaper?

Surrender!  It’s all good! Your home will never be perfectly clean. Your lawn will never stay perfectly landscaped. Your car will never stay perfectly shiny and neat. Your wrinkles will keep on comin’ and gravity will keep on pullin’.

You are who you are. You are fine. Do your best. Stop worrying about what others think. Truth is, they aren’t thinking about you! Don’t give yourself too much credit. They are worrying about what YOU think of THEM.

Now – go out and play! It’s Saturday!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Death of a Policeman

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Police have families too

We all call the police when we need help
We all call the police when we need help.

I was married to a police officer. I recall vividly how I stayed awake most nights when he was on Third Watch, praying he would come home safely to me and his four daughters. Whenever people look for scapegoats or targets of their anger, it’s easy to point at the person who gave you a speeding ticket or pulled you over for driving erratically or drunk. But police are not all alike, and the bad ones don’t override the good that millions of officers do every day, 24/7, 365 days of the year. My heart is aching right now for the families, so I need to share something I wrote many years ago in my Walking In A Crowd of Angels book. This was written after two of our police friends were killed. Please think of the families they leave behind when tragedies happen.

~~~~~

Death of A Policeman

Beth Terry (from Walking in a Crowd of Angels)

Her husband died today. She sits in disbelief, numbly working through the words she will say to their 4 year old son. Her hands glide over the arm of the couch where last night her husband sat and caressed her hair. Silently she takes back every angry word ever spoken. She fights to remember just what their last words were. You are supposed to remember your last words. She strains to hear his voice, but only remembers the radio reporting the shooting and the call from his Captain. Something about gang violence and retribution. She bargains with God, “He was just doing his job!” She stares at the ceiling and prays this is just the same bad dream every policeman’s wife has from time to time.

They come in waves. “He was a hero.” “It always happens to the good ones.” “So young…”. The table groans under mounds of food. She can’t eat. He can never eat again, how can she eat? They fumble with awkward silences, foolish advice, “It was probably fast, he probably didn’t feel any pain.” Pain? Is there anything but pain?

Classmates file in. They were recruits together. Slowly the room fills with memories: “When we were at the academy…”, “Do you remember the technical driving drills…”, “He stood up for me…”, “I always knew I could count on him…”, “We said we’d go sailing one day…”. Their aching sadness mixed with guilt; they know it could have been any one of them.  They shake their heads and drift out. At home, they hug their children, suddenly grateful for life, for family, for wives and husbands, for another chance.

The business side of death intrudes. “Did he leave a will?” “Where shall we bury him?” “The department will take care of details.” She walks in a daze to their room and finds the uniform she pressed for him this morning. She checks for the love note in his breast pocket and leaves it there. The officer takes away the last uniform her husband will ever wear.

They all leave and she is alone with her sleeping son. She turns every light on in the house, as if to wait for his return from patrol. She sleeps fitfully, then joins her laughing, young husband in her dreams.

And in houses all across town, moonlight streams down on his fellow officers, sobbing in their sleep as grateful wives and husbands silently say a prayer of thanks for one more day.

~~~~~~

Prayers for all the families involved in the horror that is unfolding across America. Please be respectful of the police officers you meet today. Please don’t make this about gun control. If all the guns in the world were taken away, these criminals would have found a way. “Making good people helpless won’t make bad guys harmless.” Prof. Shane Krauser, ASU

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Death of a Policeman

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Police have families too

We all call the police when we need help
We all call the police when we need help.

I was married to a police officer. I recall vividly how I stayed awake most nights when he was on Third Watch, praying he would come home safely to me and his four daughters. Whenever people look for scapegoats or targets of their anger, it’s easy to point at the person who gave you a speeding ticket or pulled you over for driving erratically or drunk. But police are not all alike, and the bad ones don’t override the good that millions of officers do every day, 24/7, 365 days of the year. My heart is aching right now for the families, so I need to share something I wrote many years ago in my Walking In A Crowd of Angels book. This was written after two of our police friends were killed. Please think of the families they leave behind when tragedies happen.

~~~~~

Death of A Policeman

Beth Terry (from Walking in a Crowd of Angels)

Her husband died today. She sits in disbelief, numbly working through the words she will say to their 4 year old son. Her hands glide over the arm of the couch where last night her husband sat and caressed her hair. Silently she takes back every angry word ever spoken. She fights to remember just what their last words were. You are supposed to remember your last words. She strains to hear his voice, but only remembers the radio reporting the shooting and the call from his Captain. Something about gang violence and retribution. She bargains with God, “He was just doing his job!” She stares at the ceiling and prays this is just the same bad dream every policeman’s wife has from time to time.

They come in waves. “He was a hero.” “It always happens to the good ones.” “So young…”. The table groans under mounds of food. She can’t eat. He can never eat again, how can she eat? They fumble with awkward silences, foolish advice, “It was probably fast, he probably didn’t feel any pain.” Pain? Is there anything but pain?

Classmates file in. They were recruits together. Slowly the room fills with memories: “When we were at the academy…”, “Do you remember the technical driving drills…”, “He stood up for me…”, “I always knew I could count on him…”, “We said we’d go sailing one day…”. Their aching sadness mixed with guilt; they know it could have been any one of them.  They shake their heads and drift out. At home, they hug their children, suddenly grateful for life, for family, for wives and husbands, for another chance.

The business side of death intrudes. “Did he leave a will?” “Where shall we bury him?” “The department will take care of details.” She walks in a daze to their room and finds the uniform she pressed for him this morning. She checks for the love note in his breast pocket and leaves it there. The officer takes away the last uniform her husband will ever wear.

They all leave and she is alone with her sleeping son. She turns every light on in the house, as if to wait for his return from patrol. She sleeps fitfully, then joins her laughing, young husband in her dreams.

And in houses all across town, moonlight streams down on his fellow officers, sobbing in their sleep as grateful wives and husbands silently say a prayer of thanks for one more day.

~~~~~~

Prayers for all the families involved in the horror that is unfolding across America. Please be respectful of the police officers you meet today. Please don’t make this about gun control. If all the guns in the world were taken away, these criminals would have found a way. “Making good people helpless won’t make bad guys harmless.” Prof. Shane Krauser, ASU

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Fathers – Roots and Wings

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Fathers ©2016 Beth Terry, CSP
Fathers have a special bond with daughters

He held my hand
All the way to the Kindergarten door
kissed my nose
and he set me free.

He guided the pink-bedazzled bike
down the driveway,
sent me sailing alone
and he set me free.

He put my feet on his
in that nursery waiting room.
We waltzed, waiting for brother
and he set me free

He hugged me when my first date knocked,
Said, “If I didn’t teach you
anything by now, it’s too late.”
And he set me free.

He drove me to the coast
that rainy September morn.
He hugged me in front of the dorm,
and he set me free.

He walked me down the flower-decked aisle
on a lovely June morning,
kissed my veiled forehead
and he set me free.

∞ ∞ ∞
I kissed his forehead
one last time
as he lay dying
in the burn center.
And I set him free.

∞ ∞ ∞

Fatherhood is a lifetime
of setting your kids free.
And some day, we have to do
the same for them.

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dad’s, Stepdads, Foster Dads, Grandpas, and Big Brother-Dad Stand-ins! We love you and we appreciate your quiet, loving and watchful eyes. Not all of us were lucky enough to have a Dad like mine. Thank you to those men who took the place of the fathers who weren’t there.

Blessings,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Are you Enough?

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Enough-ness and Gratitude

Gratitude and Grace help us bloom in the desert. (c) Beth Terry, CSP
Flowers Bloom in harsh circumstances; you can, too.

A young man was explaining to me why his life sucked. He told me he couldn’t succeed until he had “enough.” That’s a relative term. What is ENOUGH? And why aren’t you enough? It sounded like an excuse to me.

The real question? Are you grateful for –  and using all the resources you already have? Or are you waiting for more to appear before you move forward with your dreams? What are you willing to do to find the “more” that you believe you need? How about starting with gratitude? When you live in gratitude and recognize what you have, then you can stop wistfully looking at others’ successes and start working on your own.

I recently spoke with a woman whose husband built a multi-million dollar business from scratch.

She told me, “I always thought when we finally made it that I wouldn’t worry anymore. But there’s never enough. We may have more zeroes in our checking account than you do, but our stack of bills has more zeroes as well!”

That’s a powerful concept I never forgot. When looking at others from the outside, we make up stories about their lives. Most of the time we’re wrong, and comparing ourselves to a false assumption is dangerous. Where do we get these silly notions that other people’s so-called good fortune is “NOT FAIR?”

Is it good fortune or was it the result of dedication and hard work? What is “Fair?” My brother has worked tirelessly for 8 years, EIGHT YEARS, on an invention that may soon make it to market in a big way. I know he has worked 14-18 hours a day, seven days a week, month in and month out for almost 100 months. I know how dedicated and committed he is. I know the sacrifices he and his family have made. Yet there will be people who will be jealous when he finally has what they consider to be more than his “fair” share. But these people aren’t willing to put in the time, effort and money it takes to see a dream to fruition.

What are you willing to do with the gifts you were given? How many hours will you dedicate to an idea or a concept that may make the world better? What are you willing to risk to see it through to the end? How much time is enough to dedicate to successful deployment of this gift, this skill, this concept? Will you give up and whine that “it’s not FAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRR!” when you don’t become an overnight millionaire?

Simple Truth: the majority of people who have what you consider to be “enough” were the people who stayed up late and got up early; the people who read and researched; the people who kept at it until the puzzle could be solved. They weren’t sitting on the couch playing video games and watching reruns of Friends, wistfully wishing they could be rich, white 20-somethings living in a rent-controlled apartment in NYC in the 90’s. (Note to those who dream like that… there were very few, if any, people living like that in the 90’s. It’s a TV SHOW, not reality.)

What is Enough to you? What is enough ambition; enough ideas; enough time; enough money; enough inspiration; enough roof over your head and a full belly? We all get the same 24 hours in a day. How will you use yours?

TL;DR

Harsh circumstances don’t need to stop you from your goals.

Take Risks. Put in the time it takes. Do the work.

Be grateful for what you have and don’t have. (PS – you have enough.)

Pay attention to ideas and thoughts that flit through your brain and use them in a wise way to make the world better because you were born.

Thanks for listening.

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

PS – Don’t forget to read my article in Metiza Magazine for teenage girls – Choose Love

PSS – aren’t those flowers beautiful? That’s the sage and Mexican Bird of Paradise in my front yard… in the desert no less!

PSSS – TL;DR means “Too Long, Didn’t Read” – so I put a recap there for people with short attention spans. You’re welcome.

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

You Get What You Plant

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Do you plant happiness in your Life Garden?

Plant what you want to grow, Beth Terry @EverybodysLost.com
Plant what you want to see growing in your garden and in your Life!

“Why are you surprised at the way your life is today? Did you think you could plant self-pity and blame and harvest happiness?” My grandmother said that to me one day when I was a teenager. I was huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes, adopting the universal 15-year-old-girl stance. “Life is sooooo unfair!” [whine] “Why do I have to [take out the trash, do homework, stay home tonight, help with dinner]!?”

I suppose we could cut our little princes and princesses some slack. Our teens are being mugged by their hormones. They are ill-equipped to figure out how to handle the mood swings and emotions that flip them in and out of happiness and despair, sometimes within the span of two paragraphs. But, such is the job of the grownups: teach them how to navigate this crazy and very unfair world. My mother’s usual refrain when I wandered into self pity was, “No one ever said the world was fair! Only that it is ROUND!” In other words, babe, Deal With it!

This behavior is expected in teenagers. It’s a lot harder to handle when it’s a co-worker, boss, neighbor, friend or sweetheart. It’s not all that easy to send a co-worker to a Time Out, though I have been tempted.

As we age, we realize that our lives are a compilation of every choice we have made, and every thought we have planted. Not all of our fellow grownups have figured this out yet!

So what do you do? Easy – leave them alone and work on yourself. I’ve heard it said that we sometimes choose friends based on the the flaw we need to work on in ourselves. If every friend of ours has the same flaw, we may need to check in the mirror to see why we are attracting or seeking that. But here’s the REAL truth, and understanding this helped me heal some old wounds:

Everyone has something absolutely amazing they can use to make the world better because they were born. And every one of us also has something flawed that we need to face and work on. This applies to celebrities, your family, your best friends, and… YOU.

Think of it this way: we are all a work-in-progress, and we all can make changes by planting different kinds of thoughts in our brains. Knowing that makes it easier to work on ourselves and not get worked up about someone else who ‘drives us nutso!’

You’re born.

You die.

That space in between is up to you. Plant something special and meaningful. Pull out the weeds that have cluttered your heart and your brain and toss them in the trash. You’re worth more than you think. You may not make a huge difference in the world. But you do make a difference to some people and they need you as much as you need them.

Blessings,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

You Get What You Plant

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Do you plant happiness in your Life Garden?

Plant what you want to grow, Beth Terry @EverybodysLost.com
Plant what you want to see growing in your garden and in your Life!

“Why are you surprised at the way your life is today? Did you think you could plant self-pity and blame and harvest happiness?” My grandmother said that to me one day when I was a teenager. I was huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes, adopting the universal 15-year-old-girl stance. “Life is sooooo unfair!” [whine] “Why do I have to [take out the trash, do homework, stay home tonight, help with dinner]!?”

I suppose we could cut our little princes and princesses some slack. Our teens are being mugged by their hormones. They are ill-equipped to figure out how to handle the mood swings and emotions that flip them in and out of happiness and despair, sometimes within the span of two paragraphs. But, such is the job of the grownups: teach them how to navigate this crazy and very unfair world. My mother’s usual refrain when I wandered into self pity was, “No one ever said the world was fair! Only that it is ROUND!” In other words, babe, Deal With it!

This behavior is expected in teenagers. It’s a lot harder to handle when it’s a co-worker, boss, neighbor, friend or sweetheart. It’s not all that easy to send a co-worker to a Time Out, though I have been tempted.

As we age, we realize that our lives are a compilation of every choice we have made, and every thought we have planted. Not all of our fellow grownups have figured this out yet!

So what do you do? Easy – leave them alone and work on yourself. I’ve heard it said that we sometimes choose friends based on the the flaw we need to work on in ourselves. If every friend of ours has the same flaw, we may need to check in the mirror to see why we are attracting or seeking that. But here’s the REAL truth, and understanding this helped me heal some old wounds:

Everyone has something absolutely amazing they can use to make the world better because they were born. And every one of us also has something flawed that we need to face and work on. This applies to celebrities, your family, your best friends, and… YOU.

Think of it this way: we are all a work-in-progress, and we all can make changes by planting different kinds of thoughts in our brains. Knowing that makes it easier to work on ourselves and not get worked up about someone else who ‘drives us nutso!’

You’re born.

You die.

That space in between is up to you. Plant something special and meaningful. Pull out the weeds that have cluttered your heart and your brain and toss them in the trash. You’re worth more than you think. You may not make a huge difference in the world. But you do make a difference to some people and they need you as much as you need them.

Blessings,

Take care of yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved