Category Archives: Bethisms

Quotes from Beth Terry’s Seminars and Books

Becoming an Adult, pt 3

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Choosing Wisely is Your Job #1 Now

Part 3 of a 3 part series

Icelandic Govt PSA - Choose Wisely
This PSA from Iceland is the best “Choosing Wisely” ad on the internet (not my OC)

Part 3: Choosing Wisely as you move forward in life will keep you out of trouble and alive long enough to watch your grandkids graduate from college. See Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

  • Remember you are the only person in your life who will be 100% affected by every single choice you make. Make good, healthy, happy choices for yourself and your future. Don’t look back on a life filled with regrets. Here’s my short list of guidelines:

~ Always choose “BEST AVAILABLE:”  Whether it’s food, friends, drinks, after work parties, the workplace, buying a car and all the other choices you have in life.

~ Keep your Word, do what you say you will do: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, or promises that will undermine or harm you later. This is unfortunately often learned through experience and failure. Do your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

~ Keep your eyes on the Prize. Look to the future when making choices. Always consider unintended consequences. Remember your goals and why you are here.

~ NO is a complete sentence. You have permission to not do things! You don’t need to explain anything. The less you say, the less they have to hold onto if they are trying to manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do! If you must, try saying, “I’d love to and I can’t…” or try this, “Sure, we can do that as soon as you do this…”

Expand Your Horizons

  • READ! Not just on your electronic devices. There’s something wonderful in holding a hard cover book and tucking yourself away in a secret place to go on an internal adventure. Learn about foreign places, discover thoughts of ancient people, read histories and autobiographies to discover how other people have handled adversity and challenges.

 

  • Travel! Get out and see the world before you settle down. For that matter, learn to do things solo as well as with friends. Travel and a little independence will teach you about yourself. It will help you understand and appreciate other cultures and other people. Do it while you are young enough and have few things that tie you down.

 

You Will Survive Becoming an Adult

  • You will get your heart broken. You will fail at some things. You will get rejected. You will not always get what you want. OH WELL! Learn to take these in stride. They are just some of the costs of being a great spirit in a human body. God always answers prayer, and sometimes the answer is “NO!” I look back across the landscape of my life and am thankful daily for unanswered prayers, unmet expectations, and failures that changed my direction and my heart.

It’s going to be OK. Trust me. Someday you will tell this to your 18 year old!

Here’s a lesson on Choosing Wisely I tell all my audiences:

Be Good To People.

You don’t know who they are

You don’t know who they know

And

You don’t know who they might become!

Take care of yourself, kiddo. The world needs you. And we need you healthy and happy.

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com

© 2017 Beth Terry, CSP • All Rights Reserved

Becoming an Adult, pt 2

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Becoming an Adult is not for sissies
Adulting, Beth Terry, 2017
Picture is unrelated to Adulting, but it got your attention! Yes?

Yesterday we started our conversation about becoming an adult, or what Millenials call Adulting…

Who You Hang Out With Matters
  • Choose your friends wisely. You become who you hang out with. When you were a kid, you  did the ‘celery in colored water’ experiment. If you placed cut celery into blue water, the celery turned blue. Our minds and hearts are like that celery. Without knowing, we absorb into ourselves the beliefs and ideas of those around us. Pay attention and be mindful of what you are absorbing. There are many people who do not have your best interests at heart. Be wise enough to recognize them and surround yourself with people who do. “Adulting” means taking responsibility for your surroundings.

 

  • Hold onto good friends! When you find friends you love and trust, do what you can to stay in touch! Too many times we let good friendships die from inactivity or lost communications. As a woman now in my 60’s I can count many times when I needed my girlfriends, and was so grateful I had kept them in my life. One of my best friends is a woman I met when we were awkward 13 year-olds complete with braces, gangly limbs, angst-filled poetry and crushes on all the wrong boys. We’ve seen each other through many of life’s hard times and great adventures. Adulting is hard if you try and go it alone.

 

  • Your Integrity and Your Soul are more important than Money. Care for your soul. Work to keep your integrity and ethics intact. It can be challenging in a money-oriented world. You will be tempted. Focus on the long game. Focus on your bigger vision. Keep your eyes on your higher purpose and on your future. Adulting means not selling your soul for things or status – both of these will fade in time. Hold on to those things that no one can take away.
Adulting means becoming an Individual
  • Remember who you are. You are a unique person with tremendous gifts to share with a world who needs you. Don’t forget that truth in the race to be “one of the crowd.” That crowd you currently run with will be long gone in a few years. People you work with, classmates, neighbors, and that “popular guy” are all on their own journey. You will only keep a small number of those people in your life. Don’t make decisions today with only their opinions and needs in mind.

 

To be continued tomorrow… Adulting Pt 3

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com

© 2017 Beth Terry, CSP • All Rights Reserved

Becoming an Adult, pt 2

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Becoming an Adult is not for sissies
Adulting, Beth Terry, 2017
Picture is unrelated to Adulting, but it got your attention! Yes?

Yesterday we started our conversation about becoming an adult, or what Millenials call Adulting…

Who You Hang Out With Matters
  • Choose your friends wisely. You become who you hang out with. When you were a kid, you  did the ‘celery in colored water’ experiment. If you placed cut celery into blue water, the celery turned blue. Our minds and hearts are like that celery. Without knowing, we absorb into ourselves the beliefs and ideas of those around us. Pay attention and be mindful of what you are absorbing. There are many people who do not have your best interests at heart. Be wise enough to recognize them and surround yourself with people who do. “Adulting” means taking responsibility for your surroundings.

 

  • Hold onto good friends! When you find friends you love and trust, do what you can to stay in touch! Too many times we let good friendships die from inactivity or lost communications. As a woman now in my 60’s I can count many times when I needed my girlfriends, and was so grateful I had kept them in my life. One of my best friends is a woman I met when we were awkward 13 year-olds complete with braces, gangly limbs, angst-filled poetry and crushes on all the wrong boys. We’ve seen each other through many of life’s hard times and great adventures. Adulting is hard if you try and go it alone.

 

  • Your Integrity and Your Soul are more important than Money. Care for your soul. Work to keep your integrity and ethics intact. It can be challenging in a money-oriented world. You will be tempted. Focus on the long game. Focus on your bigger vision. Keep your eyes on your higher purpose and on your future. Adulting means not selling your soul for things or status – both of these will fade in time. Hold on to those things that no one can take away.
Adulting means becoming an Individual
  • Remember who you are. You are a unique person with tremendous gifts to share with a world who needs you. Don’t forget that truth in the race to be “one of the crowd.” That crowd you currently run with will be long gone in a few years. People you work with, classmates, neighbors, and that “popular guy” are all on their own journey. You will only keep a small number of those people in your life. Don’t make decisions today with only their opinions and needs in mind.

 

To be continued tomorrow… Adulting Pt 3

Start writing your own letter to your adult children. See you tomorrow…

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com

© 2017 Beth Terry, CSP • All Rights Reserved

Are You Missing a Rich Resource for Your Business?

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Seniors Are a Hidden Resource

We can't solve problems using same thinking - Aristotle, bethterry.com

Are you missing out on a hidden resource? Do you hire a replacement manager only to have them repeat mistakes from the past? New Concept: Hiring Interim Managers gives a company time to reassess the position and determine which skills are needed to fulfill the Corporate Vision & Mission with current data.

It was 1981 and I was ahead of my time. My first business was as an Interim Admin person for corporations and associations. I was an Interceptor, an Admin-on-Call and a Re-organizer. In short, I took a vacated position, analyzed and re-purposed it and helped them hire a replacement. I loved my career! It was exciting. I used all my analytical and admin skills which afforded me the opportunity to learn a variety of businesses from the inside. In my speaking career that knowledge has served my audiences well.

Here’s how it worked:

  • Company fired or lost Office Manager, Director, Admin Leader
  • Before Hiring a New Manager, Company hired me for 3-6 months
  • While re-organizing things based upon Company’s updated Vision and Mission, I learned the position
  • Eliminating duplicate work and unnecessary jobs, I was able to identify new positions and activities necessary to meet updated objectives of the company
  • Working with the team we wrote Desk Manuals, new Job Descriptions, and a new wish list for the ideal candidate
  • Existing team members might be re-purposed or reassigned. We included them in the process to help increase buy-in and excitement
  • Next we brought in Search firms to identify candidates for remaining jobs. We interviewed the top 10-15 people sent over
  • The CEO/President/Hiring team were prepped on the needs and details of the position being filled
  • Final candidates were interviewed and chosen by the appropriate parties
  • One or more people were hired and I trained them for the new and improved position
  • I then bid them adieu and went on to my next company.
Rowing harder doesn't help wrong way - Ohmae
Is your organization headed in the right direction?

Benefits to This System

My client companies benefited from this system in numerous ways. First, any time a person leaves a position, they leave flotsam and jetsam behind. Perhaps they set things up to serve themselves, not the company or the next person in the position. There may have been hidden mistakes, or worse, malfeasance. If they left angry or resentful, they may have poisoned the well if they hired their own replacement.

A new pair of experienced eyes cuts through the nonsense to the most important aspects of the job. Positions held by one person for a long time are subject to Normalcy Bias – “This is just the way it is! It can’t be changed. It’s too hard!” A new person will  ask, “Why?” “Why do we do this? What does this mean? Who does this serve? Does this even make sense anymore?”

 

normalcy bias kills many good ideas - past doesn't predict future

I looked with fresh eyes at each situation, asking a lot of questions. Together we focused on aligning the position with the Vision and Mission of the organization, ensuring a smoother transition for a new person. We saved companies time, money and energy while reducing painful downtime that comes with transitions.

Look At What Has Changed Before Hiring

When an outsider steps in as Interim Manager, office politics can be reduced. We helped everyone focus on the end game: finding the right person for the position to make the company more successful. Every company in expansion and hiring mode would benefit from a step back. Take time to determine if the position and duties have changed since the last time someone was hired for this job.

Senior executives on the verge of retirement are a precious natural resource

As I reach retirement, I realize my colleagues and I could provide this very service to thousands of organizations across the planet. We senior executives on the verge of retirement are a precious natural resource that companies could/should consider in building your businesses for the future.

Engage seniors for skills and analytical ability. They don’t necessarily need to come from your industry. They could be someone retiring from a competitor or another division as well. While we seniors may not all have the social media and tech skills of our wonderful Millenials, we do have a perspective from 30,000 feet on many aspects of business.

Think about it –  #Search Firms, #Job Banks, Corporate #Hiring Personnel, #HR and all those involved in building businesses – reconsider precious natural resources available to you in the form of senior talent. Your Millenials need some grandparents and mentors. We seniors don’t want 60-hour a week jobs. We can be your interim analyst who saves you time, money and energy going forward. We can provide much needed guidance and mentoring to the younger crowd poised to take over the world. Take advantage of it!

To Your Success!

Beth Terry

All Rights Reserved. ©2017 Beth Terry, CSP

Blended Family Mothers Day

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Blended Families Can Be Challenging Especially on Mothers and Fathers Day

©BethTerry.com 1995-2017
Kids see and know more than we think

It’s Mothers Day. Drive around your town and you’ll see daddies dropping their kids off at mom’s house. With a divorce rate at 50% or more, there are a lot of kids living in two homes. Blended families are the norm now and we really need to get a handle on it. Too many parents use kids as agents in enemy territory. KNOCK IT OFF!

These kids are people, too. They might not know as much as us, but they know plenty. One day I was asked why Mommy and Daddy had to fight so much. I told my little one, “Hey, think of it this way: Some kids don’t have ANYONE to love them. You girls have four parents, oodles of grandparents and even more aunties and uncles who are fighting to prove they really, really, really love you! You are our Angels!”

She then proceeded to draw the picture above and informed me they had halos and wings because they “flew between the houses and made us happy.”

There’s a reason I wrote my new book, Resilience Not Included: Helping Your Kids Learn to Bounce Back. I didn’t do enough for my first set of stepkids. The biological parents duked it out and competed to see who could buy them more stuff than the other. I loved those kids and in retrospect wish I had stepped in more. Maybe they would have struggled less as adults.

Make Agreements With Your Spouse

With my second set of stepkids, my husband and I made some agreements. One of them was to not play the “make mommy wrong” game, and to not get sucked into it if/when she tried the same. It’s amazing what happens when you don’t take the bait. I still would like to hug my girls’ mother because she brought these wonderful girls into the world. So Happy Mother’s Day to her!

Here’s one way to successfully navigate in a Blended Family. This is an excerpt from my new book…

Spoiled Milk And A Lesson, P. 35

It was a normal after-school day. The girls were happily playing in the living room. I noticed one hadn’t done her chores, so I called out to make sure she got them done before dinner. She came over to me with hands on her hips, declaring, “I don’t want to. Mommy says we don’t have to do chores over here. Megan doesn’t do ANY chores at all!”

I heard a little siren in my head! “Man the Battle Stations! This one is important!” Reluctant at that point to take on the Mommy comment, I headed for her friend’s situation.

“Megan is spoiled. We don’t use her experience as a guideline in this house.”

Challenge accepted: “Well, I want to be spoiled, too!”

I sighed and took a deep breath. “Honey, would you do me a favor and grab the milk out of the fridge? And bring a glass please? Thanks.” She did and I asked her to pour it. I knew they had left the milk sitting out and it was closer to cottage cheese than milk at that point. Glug glug glug, the big chunks dropped into the glass. “Can you please drink that for me?”

“NO!”

“Honey, please drink the milk…”

“NO! I don’t want to!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s spoiled!”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her three sisters watching with wide eyes from the living room floor. One by one they figured out what I was doing. But my stubborn one was just not getting it.

“Yes ma’am. That is spoiled milk. That’s what spoiled looks like. No one wants it. And if you’re spoiled, no one will want to play with you. No one will want to hire you. No one will want to be in a relationship with you. I love you too much to let you grow up spoiled. Now go do your chores.”

Surprisingly, she did just that. End of the conversation, and as you can see from the letter in the Appendix, not only did she remember that lesson, all her sisters did as well.

I didn’t take the bait…

By diverting the conversation away from the claim that her Mother said she didn’t have to do chores I got to the real issue: I didn’t want her to grow up spoiled. In a blended family, mothers and fathers tend to take the bait and turn everything into a battleground. It took years of experience for me to figure out ultimately this is about raising healthy kids. It might be too late to raise healthy parents, but these girls were going to, By God, grow up resilient, happy and healthy!

Bless All Moms, Stepmoms, Grandmothers and Aunties!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry, Beth Terry Events

PS – Don’t forget to check out my new book for Parents and those who need to Re-Parent themselves!

@2017 Beth Terry

Resilience can be shared and taught! Help your kids thrive!

Monday Morning Gratitude

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Quick Gratitude Fix For Your Week

Gratitude Beth Terry
Gratitude instantly shifts Attitude

 

Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.

Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.

You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.

I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.

This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.

If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!

The Neurological Benefits

After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.

The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?

When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!

List Your “Gratitudes.”

Remember the good others have done for you.

Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.

Be kind to yourself.

Bless Yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry, Beth Terry Events

PS – Don’t forget to check out my new book for Parents and those who need to Re-Parent themselves!

@2017 Beth Terry
Resilience can be shared and taught! Help your kids thrive!

 

Monday Morning Gratitude

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Quick Gratitude Fix For Your Week

Gratitude Beth Terry
Gratitude instantly shifts Attitude

 

Gratitude Matters. We know this! “Say Thank You!” We’ve all heard our moms and dads push us to show gratitude for a gift from grandma or an aunt. It turns out there’s more to it than making grandma feel good. Our own mood and productivity will instantly respond to our grateful thoughts.

Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean being Pollyanna. It isn’t about ignoring the craziness in the world around us. And it isn’t an airy-fairy-feel-good notion.

You will notice Gratitude and Forgiveness are often tied together. They show up a lot in this blog and in Cactus Wrangler.

I write about these topics because I want you to know you can instantly feel better when focusing on gratitude instead of negativity. You aren’t alone. We all go down that negativity rabbit hole from time to time.

This morning I used a time-tested technique. I grabbed a pile of blank Thank You cards and started writing thank you notes to everyone who has recently done something wonderful for me. Within ten minutes I noticed a dramatic shift in my energy levels.

If you’re having a tough Monday, try writing some notes. Don’t take the easy way out via email, instead, grab a pen and a card. The physical act of writing “Thank You” dozens of times has a very calming and positive effect on the brain and heart. You are telling your brain to call up positive experiences and transmit those to your hands so you can write them down. It’s almost magic how quickly it shifts everything!

The Neurological Benefits

After a quick search I discovered there are several wonderful neurological reasons Gratitude and Forgiveness are therapeutic. Psychology Today recently reported on a study done in Italy that quantifies and measures the life-changing, neuronal-path-changing and productivity breakthroughs of shifting our focus and forgiving. Rita Watson does a wonderful job of explaining this study and one by Johns Hopkins psychiatrist Karen Swartz, MD.

The important point is we can choose this behavior, this focus. Even when we don’t “feel like it” we can take a deep breath and choose to find a win or a lesson in the experience. What’s the Lesson? What’s the long-term benefit? Can I find a blessing in this?

When something bad happened that is now in the past, you harm yourself by focusing only on the grudge, the anger or the need for revenge and retribution. Think of it as carrying a bag of knives around and stabbing yourself with them each time the thought occurs to you. Letting old hurts and old grudges hold you back harms you, not the perpetrator! You do have choices here. Use them!

List Your “Gratitudes.”

Remember the good others have done for you.

Communicate your gratitude to everyone who has helped you along the way.

Be kind to yourself.

Bless Yourself, we need you!

Beth Terry

© 2017 Beth Terry, Beth Terry Events

PS – Don’t forget to check out my new book for Parents and those who need to Re-Parent themselves!

@2017 Beth Terry
Resilience can be shared and taught! Help your kids thrive!

 

Celebrate Attraction Day!

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Today we celebrate Attraction!

© 2017 BethTerry.com
Life goes on within you and without you

Today our minds are on Attraction and Love. Engagement ring companies, Florists, restaurants and candy companies are having a field day. You hear many things at the water cooler – “What do I give my Love on this auspicious day?” “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” “This is a big deal!” “This is a bogus holiday pushed by greeting card companies! Bah humbug!”  “I love Valentine’s Day! Wheee!” “Oh, crap! It’s Valentines Day?!” “I’m gonna ask her to marry me today! Yikes!” “Well, another stupid holiday!”

I don’t believe in the “Law of Attraction.” If there is one, a lot of people are breaking the law! There’s no rhyme or reason why we’re attracted to anyone. If you ask, most people can’t tell you why. Sure, armchair psychologists will attribute it to daddy or mommy or some 3rd grade teacher. But who knows, really? Will that couple make the long haul? The ones we think won’t make it seem to last forever and the “perfect couple” break up in a few years! Why? Who knows? And the world goes on, day in and day out, whether or not you’ve found THE ONE.

There’s no accountin’ for taste! Love makes no sense!

My friends in college made no sense to me. Let’s call them Jack & Jill. He was a burly construction worker with a mouth on him. Partied hard with hard-drinkin’ friends who never got the memo on minor things like hygiene and manners. She was a beauty. A southern belle with manners. You know her, the one with her pinky finger extended while drinking mint julep. She was operas and the local playhouse. He was Pink Floyd and the local bar.

When they met we all rolled our eyes. Bets were taken on how long “this” will last. We’d go to their house for BBQ and he’d entertain his friends in his man-cave garage, hard rock blaring. We’d be in her finely appointed living room with concertos playing on the stereo. Never gonna last. Right? Well, I just read that Jill lost her knight in rusty armor. They were together 45 years till he died of lung cancer. The photos showed a finely appointed southern belle in a black hat and veil standing by her lifetime Love as they lowered him into the ground. You just never know. Love makes no sense.

So – enjoy your day. Love someone. Go to the Animal Shelter and love a rescue pup. If you don’t have someone, go to the homeless shelter and help serve meals. Get hold of your friends with kids who could use a night out with their sweetheart and offer to babysit. I’ve spent years with no one, and years with someone who was there but not there. I’ve had times of being loved deeply and profoundly. Life offers us the entire constellation of possibilities when it comes to Attraction. Do we bring it on – maybe. Do we ignore it sometimes or miss it entirely? Absolutely.

Life is not a straight line. What you have today, you may not have tomorrow. Enjoy where you are, how you are, why you are, and who you are. And no matter what, Have a Happy Celebration of Love Day!

Welcome Love into your Life Today,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Uncommon Common Sense Leadership

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Leadership Isn’t Always from the Front

Leadership @2017 Beth Terry, CSP
~ Leadership is Fluid

I’m proud of my girl Chenty. She’s a successful manager in a Hawaii retail operation. I’ve always known she’d do well. As a teenager, she was a wonderful basketball coach for her sisters and friends. Sports is one of the great ways to learn how to be a Leader, how to share success, and how to occasionally lose and be gracious about it. (Hollywood could learn a few things from my girls right now!)

Chenty will be 33 in a few days. That’s a magical age and a wonderful number. It’s the beginning stretch of one’s “real” career life. Amazing opportunities and new doors await. I’m excited and proud of her for her work ethic and her willingness to take on these new responsibilities. (Not all “Millenials” are sitting around waiting to be taken care of!)

Pondering what gift to give for this special birthday, I remembered an inspirational leadership book from 1994. Thumbing through its well-worn pages dotted with scribbles and torn post-it notes I realized I’d used this book more than I thought. Not only did it guide my management style, it was a key to my parenting style. Looking at the arc of history with both managing employees and raising kids, it was evident how practical, effective and true these words were.

Leadership Means Being Accountable

What is this great book? Flight of the Buffalo by James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, colleagues and peers of Tom Peters. I sheepishly admit I originally bought it because of the name. I’ve collected Buffalo carvings since I was a little girl in South Dakota. It turned out to be the best Leadership book I ever read. As I scan it I can see how many of these principles settled into to the core of my Life and Management philosophies. It was that profound. So “Thank You” to Belasco and Stayer.

Perhaps the most compelling message is how vital it is for Leaders to take responsibility for whatever mess/success/direction their company takes. Leadership MUST be accountable. Pointing fingers, assigning blame, deflecting criticism, denigrating the competition, muddying the waters and building stronger barn doors after the livestock have run amok is a surefire guarantee for failure. (Again, Hollywood & DC, are you listening? I’m not being political, I’m making a practical business observation here!)

The chapter and paragraph titles give you a sense of their Uncommon Common Sense: Mistakes tell you where the oil isn’t; Beware sleeping with Corpses; Business is a Cycle; What do Customers Really Buy?; Avoiding Victimitis; Upward Delegation is a Curse… It’s worth a look at the titles alone.

The most important message? Human Beings WANT to succeed. They WANT to be led, encouraged, celebrated, and made to feel they are an important part of the success of the company. We all need to be needed, to feel our lives are worth something and our contributions matter.

The authors don’t know I’m writing this. It’s my New Years Gift to you. Go buy this book. Buy it in paper form so you can write on it, highlight it, put exclamations in the borders and fill it up with post-it-notes. Buy copies for your management teams!

Often in business we are looking for the next big thing or the latest thought leader. Looking back a few decades or even centuries can yield wonderful insights to carry you and your organization into the new year with success and positive impact.

Take care of yourself and your team! The world NEEDS successful companies and people!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2017 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

How to Stay Sane this Holiday

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Are you a Holiday Elf? Or is it tough this time of year?

Stay Sane This Holiday Season

Ho ho ho Holiday … Harumph?

Happy Holidays turning into Harried Holidays?

Holidays are historically more stressful than other times. Not only do we miss loved ones that passed away, our expectations create anxiety.

In childhood most were taught this is a “magical time” – so we should be happier. Most kids love it. Adults often resist Holiday Magic. Some work at inoculating themselves against wonder, joy, magical feelings, amazement, delight…

Instead, we worry. A lot. We worry about buying the right gift, credit card bills in January, will the storm windows hold another season, will my car start tomorrow, are my thighs too fat, is my hair thinning and will my cowboy hat cover the bald spot?

Then there’s the added burden of the “perkiness factor.” We’re supposed to suspend all our usual grumpiness and just be happy. Happy Happy Happy Holidays – bleah.

Many people just don’t want to be happy. It’s too hard. They wish the holidays would go by quickly. Some have old memories and wounds that get in the way. Some have had a tough year so it’s not easy to be perky.

Here are 7 tips to enjoy the Holidays. Hey, it could be your last, you never know. Celebrate ANYWAY.

  1. You don’t need to do it all yourself. There are people who clean house, wrap gifts, cook, file, walk the dog, and all that good stuff. They need employment during the holidays and we need you to be sane. Hire them.
  1. Not everyone needs a gift from you. Write a note, an e-mail or call them. The joy of the holidays is in connecting with those you love. Connection = Priceless. Or if a gift is in order, the perfect gift may be a gift certificate for a book, spa, beauty parlor, or golf course. (Or, of course, one of my books!) Find things that are easy to wrap, easy to mail, easy to transport.
  1. People move. Find them online. Snail mail will come back. Start a basket for returned correspondence. Follow up at your leisure. Set aside time to handle correspondence and be done with it a little at a time. Keep track of new addresses (and while you are at it, I no longer live in Hawaii…)
  1. Create a holiday budget and stick to it. Carry only enough cash for holiday shopping & a few unexpected surprises along the way. Selectively leave high interest credit cards home. If you shop online, keep a log of purchases to track your spending.
  1. Be conscious of what you eat, but don’t try and diet right now. Try eating healthy food before you leave for parties. Apples are great because they have a chemical that stems hunger. Drinking water before, during and after parties will also keep you from over eating and over-imbibing. If you drink, remember Prevent DWI with DD.W.T.S. – Designated Driver, Walk, Taxi (or Lyft/Uber), Sleep it off
  1. Be Aware – Be safe. Situational Awareness is your friend. Pay attention to others in parking lots and stores. Watch your purses and wallets. Don’t carry more than you have to. Don’t flash money in front of other people. If your intuition sounds a warning, pay attention. Get into the habit of locking your door the moment you get in your car. Have packages delivered to friends if you won’t be home when the UPS guy shows up.

TIPS: Ladies, when you put on your seat belt, slip the belt through your purse handle first. If someone tries a smash & grab (breaking the window to get your purse) it will be secured. If you load your trunk, toss your purse into the trunk or over the back seat first while holding your keys in your hand, then lock the car while the trunk is open. That locks all the other doors, protects your car and contents, and removes temptation to grab your purse off your shoulder or out of your cart while you are distracted. If you load gifts into your trunk, don’t leave the car and walk away. That invites auto theft or theft from your vehicle if the bad guys are watching.

  1. Be kind to each other this season. Even if you aren’t stressed, remember that other people may be. Not everyone finds this a jolly time of year. Ramp up the consideration and tolerance a little. Take lots of deep breaths, and don’t take it all so seriously. We are in this world together. Consideration, kindness, generosity and patience go a long way to reducing the collective stress on the planet.

Take care of yourself this Holiday Season! We need you!

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved