Seminars/Workshops: Communication Skills, Manage Change, Resilience Training

Never Thought About That – Snoring

Posted on September 15, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

The Kaleidoscope Effect – Everything has another side to it and nothing is as it seems

©2015 Beth wedding pic, snoring — I never thought of it that way

It’s amazing how we can change how we feel about a situation when we think about it a different way.

Mom put me in my place about snoring. It’s easy to complain about the other person — but we aren’t awake when we are soundly snoring and keeping the other person awake. It’s just a good idea to try and look at things from another vantage point. The next time you feel like a victim, or think things are really bad, ask if there’s a different way to think about the situation. You might surprise yourself!

I’ll be doing a series of these “Never Thought About it That Way.” I’d love to hear about your “AHA moments.”

Cheers

Beth

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Eclipse of the Moon

Posted on September 13, 2015 by — No Comments ↓

Partial Moon Eclipse Today in some parts of the world

@2014 Beth Terry photo of moon not eclipse — Carlin on weather at night

People were talking about the partial eclipse that’s taking place at 9:40 pm Phoenix time, so I was looking through all my photos for a moon picture. Of course it’s cloudy tonight so I can’t give you a real photo. But the above is the same moon from my back yard on an entirely different night.

So I go and look this thing up at Time and Date.com and come to find out it might be happening at 9:40 pm my time, but I won’t be able to see it unless I grow legs that are thousands of feet long. The Penguins in Antarctica and a few folks in South Africa will be able to see it.

So – eclipse or no eclipse, George Carlin’s weather report above is spot on.

Sleep well!

Beth

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

What will they think? Don’t worry about it

Posted on September 12, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Deer, they aren’t thinkin’ about you…

© 2015 Beth Terry Derr head photo — They aren’t thinking about you!

So sorry, most people really aren’t thinking all that much about you. Remember the time you were humiliated because you stumbled? Or you wore two different shoes? Or you had a stain on your clothes from that wonderful burrito? Heck, I still remember being 16 and all gangly, walking right into a telephone pole while the boy’s football team rambled by in a bus! We all still remember those moments.

But… most people (you included) will see something weird and say, “Hmmm, she has a stain on her shirt. That’s gonna upset her when she gets home.” And then they forget about it. Why? Because they have too many things on their plate to worry about. You aren’t high on their list. Ok, I’ll concede that sometimes things wind up on the internet. (I’m so glad we didn’t have that when I was a teen!) But most of those disappear quickly because thousands of other people are doing silly things, too.

I was in South Dakota for a reunion and I walked into an art store filled with wonderful Midwestern paintings. The artist in residence is John C. Green, and he has a sly sense of humor. On his wall is the fake deer’s head pictured above. He was entertaining himself and people in the store by having the deer head talk with them. It was corny, but still funny. Two women were looking at a painting. One said, “It’s beautiful, but it depicts a hunting scene. What will people think?” John’s deer head let out a chuckle and told them nobody’s thinking all that much about them. It was a perfect moment of good old Midwestern practicality. It applies to most of us, I would guess.

A lot of us get caught up worrying about what others think. A good question to ask yourself is, “Am I that important to them?” Answer: Probably not.

Just be you. Enjoy Life. Laugh at yourself and move on.

Cheers,

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

September 11, 2001 ~ Never Forget

Posted on September 11, 2015 by Beth Terry — 2 Comments ↓

In Honor of those who died on September 11, 2001

Art by Public Domain Pictures.net — World Trade Center Postmark

It was mid-March of 2002. I had just returned from a speaking trip and there was a pile of mail on my desk. At the very bottom of it, the familiar large white manila envelope from my investment adviser at Prudential. As I started to open the envelope, my eyes fell on the postmark. It was dated September 11, 2001. Since I was living in Hawaii, and since planes and ships weren’t allowed to land there till about September 22, the whole mail system was clogged. We were getting FedEx, UPS and Post Office mail sporadically for six months afterward.

As I held the envelope, I felt chills down my back. Was the team who prepared this still alive? Was the person who mailed this alive because he/she ran down to the mailroom on the first floor to get it in the mail? It was an eerie feeling holding one of the last pieces of mail sent from the burning towers.

I still have that envelope ferreted away somewhere. I supposed the executor of my estate (hopefully 40+ years from now) will come across it buried deep in a box of memories. Since I couldn’t find it, I made a photoshopped version of a postmark (above) just to feel that reality check once again. If I ever locate it, I’ll change out the image with the real one.

There are many world events that give us a reality check. We certainly are not the first country to have been attacked by

© US Flag by Beth Terry — Remembering 9/11

terrorists. And it wasn’t the first attack on the US (December 7, 1941 ring a bell?) More people die in car accidents every year than died on that fateful day. But the sheer shock of it, and the reminder that the world is not made up of fairy dust and unicorns was a wake up call for many people.

It would be nice if that old Coke Commercial by the Hilltop singers (recently brought back by the TV Show Madmen) could be true. September 11, 2001 and many September 11’s following it have shown that to be a far off dream. Why? Because, well, other humans are involved and some of those other humans don’t share our fondness for Liberty, Democracy, Peace and Freedom.

Take a moment today and remember.
Live your dreams, be happy.
The world is not sane, but you can be.

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

September 11, 2001 ~ Never Forget

Posted on September 11, 2015 by Beth Terry — 4 Comments ↓

In Honor of those who died on September 11, 2001

There are many world events that give us a reality check. We certainly are not the first country to have been attacked by

Take a moment today and remember.
Live your dreams, be happy.
The world is not sane, but you can be.

Blessings,

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Get Away From the Crowd

Posted on September 10, 2015 by Beth Terry — 4 Comments ↓

Think for yourself

Daisy Photo by Beth Terry — Get Away Once In awhile

Find your own voice. It’s hard to do that when TV, movies, radio, and online chat rooms are dictating what’s cool, what’s “in” and what you should think. Look at it this way: the crowd doesn’t live in your body, it doesn’t pay your bills, it doesn’t pay the consequences of your choices. You do. And quite frankly, they really don’t care all that much about what you are wearing, doing, saying or singing. They’re too busy worrying about themselves.

Every once in awhile, be willing to stand alone, on your own two feet.

It’s good to get out into nature without your phone, iPad, iPod and all the other distractions of modern technology. Get in your car or on the bus and go someplace completely different: to a botanical garden, the beach, the lake, a park, go rock climbing or take in a museum. Get out of your comfort zone, get away from all those voices and listen to your own.

So many people are afraid of standing away from the crowd. Try it. You might find out you’re pretty cool all by yourself.

Cheers,

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

What’s the Real Reason You’re Upset?

Posted on September 8, 2015 by — No Comments ↓

It’s not what you think

She was really irritated. Everyone was telling her what to do about her cold. I listened to her rant about it for awhile, then asked her, “What’s this really about?” She stopped and looked at me like my dog does when I’m talking to him. “What do you mean, ‘what’s this really about?'”

“I don’t think you’re upset for the reasons you think you are. I think there’s a back story here. What’s the real reason?”

She laughed for the first time, “Yeah. How come all these people care more about my health than my husband does? I mean, I’ve been sick for days and he hasn’t even offered to make me soup! And here people in the store want to bring me soup from home!!!”

“Ah. That makes sense. Did you tell him?”

“Tell him?! He should just know!“

“Nah. He can’t read your mind. He’s a guy. You’re upset because he can’t read your mind. You should be happy that he can’t read your mind, especially since you’re so angry right now. That’s a scary proposition for a man. Maybe you haven’t clicked on the ‘help me’ button in his brain yet. You know all of us need to be taught to understand our Beloveds. You haven’t been married that long. It takes years to figure this stuff out. Teach him. Don’t be mad at him!”

“How?”

“Try this: ‘Honey, when I feel like this I really need to feel protected and taken care of. Would you please make me some soup or that cool ginger/lemon/honey drink you made last time? Thank you. Love you!’ ~ You know, it always helps to be appreciative and not demanding. Let him know what you need … and then when he’s sick, show him how to take care of someone you love. What goes around..

~~~~

What’s the real reason for your upset? Have you assigned reasons without thinking it through? How can you solve this if you don’t know what it’s really about? No one else can read your mind. Once you understand where the pain is coming from, you might be able to communicate what you need to the other person, or at the very least do something to fix the situation.

I wasn’t always this smart about how our brains work. I was having a rough day many years ago when a friend slipped me a little book called, “Love is Letting Go of Fear.” It was a life changer. Highly recommend it. OH! I’m upset and I’m picking the first thing that comes into my little brain to explain it! Maybe it’s a chemical reaction to food, maybe I just have a headache, maybe I said something that confused the other person and they are acting on their best guess! Hey! Maybe I should check with them!

Life’s hard enough without jumping to conclusions about what other people are or are not thinking. Work on this little gem and your life will get easier. Promise.

Cheers,

Letting Go

Posted on September 6, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Saying Goodbye

Rainbow Seattle — Letting Go is Not the end of the world, Just the end of this Rainbow

Why do we insist on holding on to things that no longer work for us? We’ve all seen it with our friends and we’ve all done it. We mourn lost relationships as if they are the only relationship we will ever have in our lifetime. Sometimes people come along to help us with some aspect of our lives. Maybe we needed to learn to be loved. Maybe we needed to learn to be independent. Or we needed to understand finance, family, love, friendship, or even letting go.

Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves to become the best version of ourselves we can be. That sometimes means moving on when we want to hold on. Yes – there are times to fight for a friendship or a relationship. Only you know. Just don’t hold on so long that you hurt yourself and miss the person who has been waiting in the wings for you to be ready for them.

It’s your life. Make some healthy decisions for your now and for your future.

Cheers,

Turtles all the way down – Not the Big Bang!

Posted on September 4, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

There are many versions of the “turtles” story. Here’s one of them:

Patti's desert Tortoise pic with baby — Desert Tortoise

Dr. William James, who is known as the Father of American Psychology, used to talk in his logic lectures about the impossibility of swaying someone from their distinct and strongly held Belief Systems. His example was a conversation he had with an old woman. This ancient philosopher had an explanation of how the world was created. She said the Big Bang Theory was wrong, and all those Darwinians and Creationists were just crazy talking.

What was her explanation? She explained how the Earth rested on the back of a ginormous turtle.

“But, dear lady”, Professor James protested, as politely as could be, “what holds up the turtle?”

“Ah”, she said, “that’s easy. The turtle is standing on the back of another turtle.”

“OK, I see”, said Professor James, still being polite. “But would you be so good as to tell me what holds up the second turtle?”

“It’s no use, Professor”, said the old woman, not falling into his logical trap.

“It’s turtles-turtles-turtles, all the way down!”

I didn’t get it till I visited my brother and sister-in-law. They raise rescued Sulcata and Desert Tortoises. I took the above picture but didn’t see that the mama was carrying one of her babies on her back. When I looked closer at this photo, I realized, “HEY! I’ve got the beginning of a new planet! Turtles all the way down!”

It’s Friday, go take a break and tip back an adult beverage in honor of the Turtles… all the way down!

Cheers,

Problems Are the Wind in Your Sails

Posted on September 2, 2015 by Beth Terry — No Comments ↓

Problems are the reason you were hired

Problems Are Wind — Problems are the Wind in Your Sails that keep you employed and employable.

Here’s your job description: SOLVE PROBLEMS. Everyone’s job is to solve a problem. Most people hate problems at work. Yet without them, you wouldn’t have a job. Your JOB is to solve the problems you were hired to solve. When you were interviewed, didn’t they ask you: can you fix this? can you do this? can you analyze this? All of those are PROBLEM SOLVING ACTIVITIES. How cool is that?

Think about it — Why else are you here? Why do you think you got your job? Even if you work at Mickey Dees, when you ask, “Would you like fries with that?” You are helping the customer AND McDonalds solve a problem. You solve the customers hunger and impulse problem and you solve McDonalds’ problem that it has food to sell and needs people to give them money for it.

Here’s the deal: if you think of your job as “solving problems,” then you won’t get so upset when they come up. Just think of them as Job Security! And you will realize one of the great secrets in Life… you aren’t all that different from the Corporate President or anyone else. All they do all day is solve problems, too!

Cheers,