Author Archives: Beth Terry

Being Thankful and Mindful

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Be Mindful – the Holidays are “the heavy season” for some…

© 2015 Beth Terry EverybodysLost.com
Beloved gathering place burns on Thanksgiving Day

Ah, we have survived the first weekend of the holiday season. Most of us ate too much, shopped too much, and watched too much football (protests from my sweetheart notwithstanding that “there’s no such thing as TOO MUCH football!”) If you went to your family’s home, you spent time with people you loved and tried really hard to love some of the people you were spending time with. As Johnny Carson once noted, “We visit family during the holidays to remember why we live so far away from them…”

There IS another side to the Holidays, though. As we move forward towards Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Festivus, let’s be thankful for what we have while being mindful that not everyone finds this time of year wonderful.

Dad was a pastor and always called the Holidays “the Heavy Season.” Every year his calendar was packed with those struggling with pain and loss that became more heightened in comparison to the frivolity bursting from every radio and TV.

It’s not that we shouldn’t celebrate. It’s that not everyone is in a “happy happy happy” frame of mind. If you greet someone with a hearty, “Happy Holidays!!” and they don’t return the enthusiasm, just bless them and let them be. If you have friends who have lost someone this year, or who have had a financial or health setback, see if there’s something you can do within your means to assist. You can’t “fix” loss, but you can lend a hand, a shoulder, or some of that green stuff.

We had a heartbreaking event on Thanksgiving morning as we learned of the fire that consumed a landmark in Cave Creek, AZ. Our beloved gathering place, historical museum, Friday Night Fish Fry hangout and favorite place to dance, The Buffalo Chip Saloon, burned to the ground by an arsonist. Treasured displays of cowpokes past, autographed boots and hats, artwork and memorials enshrined on the walls and ceilings of this 65 year old tribute to the Old West turned to ashes. With it, the jobs of 160 people disappeared, some supporting entire families. The whole community struggled to find something to be thankful for that morning.

Then we all came together. Parkway Bank set up a donation account for the employees. Neighbor businesses put on fundraisers. Leads started coming in to help the sheriff find the arsonist. People set aside differences and got to work.

While there’s an overarching sense of loss at the intentional destruction of this beloved institution, we are thankful no one was hurt and mindful of the needs of those who lost their jobs and livelihood… temporarily. Larry Wendt has said he will rebuild. We will be with him all the way.

Keep your wits about you this holiday season and remember what it’s really about. Take care of each other. Be mindful of those in situations that are different from yours. Always be thankful for what you have and for what you don’t have…

Happy December!

And please keep the families of the Buffalo Chip in your prayers.

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Your Legacy: What will they say about you?

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In 200 years we’ll all be gone… what’s in YOUR legacy?

©2008-2015 Beth Terry, EverybodysLost.com
What will our descendants think of our choices?

Right near the now-closed Greasewood Flats northeast of Phoenix is a place called Reata Pass. I took the photo above sometime in the early 2000’s, before the rich and famous co-opted it and turned it all into “Troon North.” In the early days of the southwest, it was the place to stop if you were a rider for the Pony Express. The Old West couldn’t have survived or thrived without these cowboys delivering the news from far off lands.

Much has been written about the romance of those Old West days. Today across the country the Cowboy Mounted Shooters and the Single Action Shooting teams gather to re-enact what was an everyday occurrence for the cowboys of old. The best place to catch this is in Arizona at Winter Range in February.

It’s fun to reminisce about “the old days.” But in doing so, think about this: what seems quaint and old-timey to us, was just an every day occurrence for them. Ask your teenager what they think about the 70’s or 80’s — to THEM your old photos and nostalgia about Betamax, 8-track tapes, Pong and stories of one phone in the house are quaint and old-timey. You were just living your life, much the way you are living it now. While we are in it, it doesn’t seem ‘historical’ or ‘quaint’ or ‘old-timey.’  With some hindsight, we review some of our choices, and more than a few Baby Boomers now mutter to themselves, “What the hell was I thinkin’?”

While we are living our life, it doesn’t seem ‘historical’ or ‘quaint’ or ‘old-timey.’

In 100 or so years, when there are no survivors left from today, what will historians piece together about our choices and our legacy? Will they wonder why we gave up our privacy so easily? Will they wonder why preserving our eco-systems wasn’t a primary concern for all of us? Will they marvel at our obsession with taking selfies? Will they thank us for the amazing innovations and the plethora of blogs on every topic from cooking to politics to relationships? Or will all our words crumble like so much dust inside King Tut’s Tomb?

Think about it. In less than 100 years, we’ve gone from a few lone traveling photographers making people stand still for minutes at a time, capturing stiff people on a daguerrotype … to everyone from age 5 to 95 taking pictures of themselves with a cell phone! Will that fad last? Will we finally get tired of photographing ourselves? Is that our legacy?

If not, what IS your legacy? What are you leaving behind? Will your life choices make sense in the lens of the year 2115? Does it matter what you are doing now? Is the world a better place because you were in it? What one thing can you leave your descendants to help them make sense of your life and theirs?

Food for thought on this beautiful Saturday in Phoenix.

Just because the world is crazy doesn’t mean YOU have to be!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Thank you Veterans

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Thank you Grandpa, Dad, Uncle, Cousins, Strangers and Friends for your Sacrifice

© 2015 Beth Terry, EverybodysLost.com
Phoenix National Cemetery with Flags

My Uncle is on the Viet Nam Memorial wall, in the earliest of the panels. Dad was on a submarine. Other relatives and friends have sacrificed much to keep this country free. Like many other “thank you” holidays, we need to be thanking these people daily, not just once or twice a year. It doesn’t matter what the politics are or were behind those wars. What matters is they were willing to go put their lives on the line because this is a country they believe in. What you do with that freedom is up to you.

So, thank you Veterans. I’m sorry we didn’t treat a lot of you very well when you came home. We just didn’t know. I know I didn’t understand. I was angry that my friends were coming home in body bags – I lost eight friends in the Viet Nam war when I was in college. I didn’t know what they were up against until I sat in the front row at the theater and watched Apocolypse Now.

It’s not that I bought the movie as 100% true. It was just the first time I was face to face with the insanity of war and the courage many bring to those situations.

I still believe in the idea of the USA; in what she stands for and what she has been able to accomplish in a very short 229 years. I don’t know if some of our wars and skirmishes were right. History may answer that. What I DO know is that men and women put their lives on hold and went out to do a job most would avoid.

Thank you to all the veterans who thought this was important enough to write that blank check to America. I appreciate you.

Now, dear reader, how about going out and buying some meals for those Vets we see on the streets. I’m headed out now… Join me?

Blessings and God Bless America,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

“Don’t die with a book in you!” Dan Poynter, RIP

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At some point in every speech Dan Poynter would say that

©2015 Beth Terry, photo and High Flight Poem
Click photo to enjoy poem, High Flight

 

Dan Poynter was the best mentor any author could want. He made publishing your first book a possibility with ParaPublishing, a website with everything you need to get going. His resources were vast with how-to books, book shepherds, marketing gems and design advice. He gave me the push to get my first book out there – Walking in a Crowd of Angels.

I first met him in the 80’s in Hawaii when he came to speak to my authors group. We connected because my joke has always been, “I love to fly planes, but you’ll never catch me jumping out of a perfectly good one!” He spent most of the next 30 years trying to get me to come and do a jump. Never happened.

Dan Poynter 1938-2015
Dan Poynter 1938-2015

Dan Poynter was a parachutist, pilot, prolific author, mentor extraordinaire, speaker … and my friend. We lost him this weekend and the skies look pretty empty without him there. I miss you Dan!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

What you pay attention to… happens

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© 2015 Beth Terry, Garden image
You reap what you sow

We have an interesting growing season in Arizona: we plant in late February and harvest in April and May. Then we plant again in late September and harvest in December. It’s important to pay attention to the planting seasons or you’ll miss the windows of opportunity. The above photo was taken when I planted my garden this February. I didn’t pay attention to the instructions on the tomato plants and got a little too enthusiastic. That innocent looking tomato pot at the top held 6 plants! Within a month it was bulging out the sides and half the plants needed transplanting. Because I didn’t let it get out of control, I wound up with a magnificent crop of tomatoes and reveled in my instant salad bar on the back patio every night.

You can’t make things happen if you don’t pay attention to them. There’s another element: are we paying attention to the right things? Sometimes we create mischief by emphasizing things that don’t matter. If you tell your kids they are slobs every day, they will believe you and become slobs. That won’t make them want to clean their rooms. If you’re a manager, you can turn the focus of your people on the wrong things and take them away from productive activities that matter more.

One of my bosses along the way was a stickler for details. I once walked into the office on a very busy morning and couldn’t find any of my staff. My boss (a man responsible for millions of dollars in sales every year) had the entire admin team holed up in a conference room. He was teaching them how to staple a document. He wanted each staple to be precisely in the correct corner, at the correct angle, positioned so the paper didn’t tear when someone turned to the next page. Granted, presentation is very important. On the other hand, I could have handled that with a short memo.

This same boss had a great eye for details and balance. This is why he was successful. But his focus would get skewed by small details. We had a beautiful fringed carpet in the foyer of the main office. Part of the receptionist’s job was to make sure the fringe was always combed with a special carpet comb made for the boss. If he came out of his office and saw that the fringe had been walked on and ruffled, he would slap the receptionist’s desk with his hand to alert her.

Admirable attention to detail? Yes. Startling and an interruption of other duties? Absolutely. My entire admin team lined up in my office to complain they were missing calls and not able to focus on the work at hand because they were always jumping up and fixing that [expletive] carpet. I did a time/productivity study (with a great deal of poetic license in my analysis) and showed him that his attention to this detail was costing him in many other ways. I came in on the weekend to get work done and found him on the floor of the foyer with duct tape and scissors, taping the fringe under the carpet so it was no longer a problem. I remember stifling a giggle and saying, “Well, that’s one way to solve that!” And merrily escaped into my office.

If your people are doing the wrong things, are you contributing to the shift in their focus? Are you helping them understand what it is you need to have done so the team will succeed? Pay attention to the things you want to happen, not to the minutia of daily life that doesn’t matter.

To your Productivity!

Cheers!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

What you pay attention to… happens

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© 2015 Beth Terry, Garden image
You reap what you sow

We have an interesting growing season in Arizona: we plant in late February and harvest in April and May. Then we plant again in late September and harvest in December. It’s important to pay attention to the planting seasons or you’ll miss the windows of opportunity. The above photo was taken when I planted my garden this February. I didn’t pay attention to the instructions on the tomato plants and got a little too enthusiastic. That innocent looking tomato pot at the top held 6 plants! Within a month it was bulging out the sides and half the plants needed transplanting. Because I didn’t let it get out of control, I wound up with a magnificent crop of tomatoes and reveled in my instant salad bar on the back patio every night.

You can’t make things happen if you don’t pay attention to them. There’s another element: are we paying attention to the right things? Sometimes we create mischief by emphasizing things that don’t matter. If you tell your kids they are slobs every day, they will believe you and become slobs. That won’t make them want to clean their rooms. If you’re a manager, you can turn the focus of your people on the wrong things and take them away from productive activities that matter more.

One of my bosses along the way was a stickler for details. I once walked into the office on a very busy morning and couldn’t find any of my staff. My boss (a man responsible for millions of dollars in sales every year) had the entire admin team holed up in a conference room. He was teaching them how to staple a document. He wanted each staple to be precisely in the correct corner, at the correct angle, positioned so the paper didn’t tear when someone turned to the next page. Granted, presentation is very important. On the other hand, I could have handled that with a short memo.

This same boss had a great eye for details and balance. This is why he was successful. But his focus would get skewed by small details. We had a beautiful fringed carpet in the foyer of the main office. Part of the receptionist’s job was to make sure the fringe was always combed with a special carpet comb made for the boss. If he came out of his office and saw that the fringe had been walked on and ruffled, he would slap the receptionist’s desk with his hand to alert her.

Admirable attention to detail? Yes. Startling and an interruption of other duties? Absolutely. My entire admin team lined up in my office to complain they were missing calls and not able to focus on the work at hand because they were always jumping up and fixing that [expletive] carpet. I did a time/productivity study (with a great deal of poetic license in my analysis) and showed him that his attention to this detail was costing him in many other ways. I came in on the weekend to get work done and found him on the floor of the foyer with duct tape and scissors, taping the fringe under the carpet so it was no longer a problem. I remember stifling a giggle and saying, “Well, that’s one way to solve that!” And merrily escaped into my office.

If your people are doing the wrong things, are you contributing to the shift in their focus? Are you helping them understand what it is you need to have done so the team will succeed? Pay attention to the things you want to happen, not to the minutia of daily life that doesn’t matter.

To your Productivity!

Cheers!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

That Pesky Problem: Can You Save The World?

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Can you save the world? Prolly not…

©2015 Beth Terry Plant your garden
It’s tempting to look outside at the world and try to save that before we look in the mirror and save ourselves.

The problem with saving the world is that it is made up of people, 7 billion people, all in different stages of mental clarity (or not). And they really don’t think they need you to save them.

I was talking with a young woman in her late 20’s who declared (with raised chin and flaring nostrils) that her entire life’s purpose was “To Save the World.” A noble cause, I would suppose, but impractical and unrealistic, not to mention a tad arrogant.

First, it’s hard to save something that doesn’t apparently want to be saved. I was reminded of earlier missionary excursions to the far-flung islands of the Pacific. As the joke in Hawaii goes, “The missionaries came to do good, and they did very well…”

Second, what exactly does it mean to save the world? It means you think you and your ways are better than theirs. Maybe. Maybe not.

I asked her if she had ever traveled to these far flung places she was going to save. Turned out she hadn’t even been out of Arizona except for a brief vacation in Rocky Point, Mexico. I suggested she take a few long trips to the places she wanted to save, and maybe read the CIA Factbook before she left.

Shortly after our conversation, I spent an afternoon at the Musical Instrument Museum. This marvelous collection of world music and history is a reminder how we earthlings are both very much the same, and also very different. I made a mental note to recommend it to her. (Not to be missed if you ever visit Phoenix.)

So what do you think? Can we “Save the world?” What does that mean? IMHO if we can’t even stop ourselves from eating that last Danish, or chowing down on Thanksgiving dinner till we burst, how do we think we are qualified to tell anyone else how to live out those 26,000 days each of us is allotted (give or take…)

Maybe the Life Purpose we should all dedicate ourselves to is saving our own lives. Achieving that is a noble goal and allows us to provide love and support (not be a savior) to those around us.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Cheers!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

That Pesky Problem: Can You Save The World?

Posted on by — 5 Comments ↓

Can you save the world? Prolly not…

©2015 Beth Terry Plant your garden
It’s tempting to look outside at the world and try to save that before we look in the mirror and save ourselves.

The problem with saving the world is that it is made up of people, 7 billion people, all in different stages of mental clarity (or not). And they really don’t think they need you to save them.

I was talking with a young woman in her late 20’s who declared (with raised chin and flaring nostrils) that her entire life’s purpose was “To Save the World.” A noble cause, I would suppose, but impractical and unrealistic, not to mention a tad arrogant.

First, it’s hard to save something that doesn’t apparently want to be saved. I was reminded of earlier missionary excursions to the far-flung islands of the Pacific. As the joke in Hawaii goes, “The missionaries came to do good, and they did very well…”

Second, what exactly does it mean to save the world? It means you think you and your ways are better than theirs. Maybe. Maybe not.

I asked her if she had ever traveled to these far flung places she was going to save. Turned out she hadn’t even been out of Arizona except for a brief vacation in Rocky Point, Mexico. I suggested she take a few long trips to the places she wanted to save, and maybe read the CIA Factbook before she left.

Shortly after our conversation, I spent an afternoon at the Musical Instrument Museum. This marvelous collection of world music and history is a reminder how we earthlings are both very much the same, and also very different. I made a mental note to recommend it to her. (Not to be missed if you ever visit Phoenix.)

So what do you think? Can we “Save the world?” What does that mean? IMHO if we can’t even stop ourselves from eating that last Danish, or chowing down on Thanksgiving dinner till we burst, how do we think we are qualified to tell anyone else how to live out those 26,000 days each of us is allotted (give or take…)

Maybe the Life Purpose we should all dedicate ourselves to is saving our own lives. Achieving that is a noble goal and allows us to provide love and support (not be a savior) to those around us.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Cheers!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

That Pesky Problem: Can You Save The World?

Posted on by — 10 Comments ↓

Can you save the world? Prolly not…

©2015 Beth Terry Plant your garden
It’s tempting to look outside at the world and try to save that before we look in the mirror and save ourselves.

The problem with saving the world is that it is made up of people, 7 billion people, all in different stages of mental clarity (or not). And they really don’t think they need you to save them.

I was talking with a young woman in her late 20’s who declared (with raised chin and flaring nostrils) that her entire life’s purpose was “To Save the World.” A noble cause, I would suppose, but impractical and unrealistic, not to mention a tad arrogant.

First, it’s hard to save something that doesn’t apparently want to be saved. I was reminded of earlier missionary excursions to the far-flung islands of the Pacific. As the joke in Hawaii goes, “The missionaries came to do good, and they did very well…”

Second, what exactly does it mean to save the world? It means you think you and your ways are better than theirs. Maybe. Maybe not.

I asked her if she had ever traveled to these far flung places she was going to save. Turned out she hadn’t even been out of Arizona except for a brief vacation in Rocky Point, Mexico. I suggested she take a few long trips to the places she wanted to save, and maybe read the CIA Factbook before she left.

Shortly after our conversation, I spent an afternoon at the Musical Instrument Museum. This marvelous collection of world music and history is a reminder how we earthlings are both very much the same, and also very different. I made a mental note to recommend it to her. (Not to be missed if you ever visit Phoenix.)

So what do you think? Can we “Save the world?” What does that mean? IMHO if we can’t even stop ourselves from eating that last Danish, or chowing down on Thanksgiving dinner till we burst, how do we think we are qualified to tell anyone else how to live out those 26,000 days each of us is allotted (give or take…)

Maybe the Life Purpose we should all dedicate ourselves to is saving our own lives. Achieving that is a noble goal and allows us to provide love and support (not be a savior) to those around us.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Cheers!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Can You Afford NOT to De-Stress?

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Psssst… you’re no fun when you are stressed out!

Stress
Practice Daily De-Stressing to stay healthy

Face it, we’re all kind of a PITA (pain :-)) when we are stressed. We push people around; we aren’t ourselves; the more stressed we are the more frazzled we become. It’s not good for us and it really messes with our friendships and relationships at work and at home. Not to mention that our productivity takes a dive.

And for what? Sure, it’s great to have a mission and purpose. Not so great if you leave us prematurely due to stress!

So – here are Six Life Hacks to help you De-Stress

  1. Stretch… a LOT:
    • Before you get out of bed in the morning, do a few quick stretches. Legs straight in the air and cross over from side to side; the bicycle routine; knees to chest; knees together then rock from side to side. This gets the blood flowing, works out kinks and is a shot of energy for the day.
    • At your desk, clasp your hands together in the old “here’s the church and here’s the steeple” style. Press them straight out in front of you and then straight up over your head. Roll your shoulders to the front and back. Hold your arms out straight with your palms straight up then rotate them with palms towards the floor. Clap your hands behind you with arms as straight as possible.
    • While seated, lift each leg up off the chair, first with knees bent and then with legs as straight as possible. If you do these two little rituals daily, you will feel less stressed, more energized and better able to tackle the day. (Hah! you just did all those! I know you did! See?!)
  1. Happy Feet Keep You Stable:  When I worked at a Personnel Recruitment office in Hawaii, a very staid and proper man (or so I thought) was one of the Recruiters. One day I spotted bare, wet feet resting on a towel peeking out from under his desk. He was one of those lunch-time surfers. But on the days he couldn’t get to the beach, he’d pull a small pan of saltwater from the corner under his desk and quietly slip off his socks and shoes to soak his feet for half an hour. When I finally got up the nerve to ask him, he said it was a great stress reliever and felt like he was in the ocean. I started trying that during the day and it really works! If not at work, do it once you get home.
© BethTerry.com EverybodysLost.com
Watching Hummingbirds is very relaxing
  1. Nature breaks the Stress:
    • Take a walk outside… but if you can’t go outside, do a quick search on nature cams and watch it or play it in the background for a short break. I like the Eagle Cams, Owl cams and hummingbird cams. Ustream.tv is a great resource.
    • Hummingbirds visit my patio in Arizona year round. So far I’ve had three nests and watched six babies fledge. The picture above was taken from my dining room window. They chose a tiny windchime for the base of the nest. That nest is smaller than a ping-pong ball cut in half!
    • Get out of the office during your break or lunch. Bring a sandwich and sit in the park away from the noise and mayhem.
    • Or bring nature to you – have a live plant, a fishbowl, or headphones with soothing sounds of the surf or a babbling brook.
    • Whatever floats your boat – find something to do with nature that will soothe you.
  1. Rituals are soothing: Rituals and traditions can be very grounding.
    • As teens and twenty-somethings, many of us rejected the traditions of our parents.
    • As we age, we realize that traditions can anchor us and keep us stable
    • Create healthy exercise and pre-sleep rituals
    • Try a safety ritual before bed – checking all the doors, looking in on the kids, making sure the garage door is closed
    • Short meditation rituals remind you to slow down and breathe, look around, be present
    • Reminder Rituals: Each time the clock reads either 11:11 or 1:11, I stop for a full minute and remember all the things I’m grateful for.
    • I do my Gratitudes: “10 things I’m grateful for”  each morning before getting out of bed.

Each morning before getting out of bed, I list my Gratitudes

  1. Sleep Better: Turn off bright lights, video games, emails, news programs, TV… at least 90 minutes before bed. What you put in your brain before sleep impacts your dream state, even if you don’t remember. I watched an episode of Twinning on Hulu just before bed one night and woke up stressed and upset that my twin (I don’t have a twin) was living apart from me.
  1. Stop-Drop-Breathe:  Right now consciously lower your shoulders, get that head directly over your spine, tuck in your butt so your spine is aligned. Even if you do this only occasionally, you’ll notice your back and legs don’t hurt so much, your stress levels drop almost immediately, and it’s easier to breathe.

Take care of yourself! We need you healthy!

Relax! Thanks for listening!

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved