When Good Enough is OK

Sometimes Good Enough is OK and it’s all you need

EverybodysLost.com Beth Terry, CSP
Sometimes Good enough is OK

The desert air hurts in July. When Phoenix temps soar above 111º with humidity hovering below 10%, our famous dry heat assaults our nostrils, lips and cheeks with a heavy fist. Around 4pm when the “heat island” is at its worst, I feel like a circus elephant is riding a tricycle across my chest. Nothing gets done. A siesta looms as the only option.

Today, we woke to cooler temperatures after the salvation of our first rainstorm in months. The whole neighborhood was out and about. We were as giddy as Seattleites who play hooky from work to play in the ocean on a rare sunny day.

Like most of my neighbors, I decided this was a good day to mow the lawn. I got the mower, put on my D-backs baseball cap and gathered all my tools. The mower wouldn’t start. Undaunted and energized by the relatively cool morning (87º) I began mowing my lawn with the weed whacker.

I was lovin’ my new and powerful Black+Decker Trimmer, but I discovered much to my chagrin that a weed whacker doesn’t do such a great job when you’re using it for the entire lawn! I was swinging it around, making divots like a golfer, and after half an hour my arms hurt! Great power tool! Wrong job. The photo above shows you my handiwork. When I stopped, I giggled at the results.

Meh, who cares? It was good enough! An imperfectly mowed lawn is nothing to lose sleep over, it will grow back and I’ll mow it again some day. By the same token, an unmade bed is not a crime and it doesn’t hurt for the bed to air out. Often there are more important things to do than make a bed, including an early morning hike with your sweetheart who doesn’t always have mornings off.

What you can do

With age comes wisdom and the awareness that time is finite. If only I’d known this when I was younger. Some things really don’t matter. Some things don’t need to be done perfectly – or at all!

The next time you’re stressing over a task, ask yourself a few questions:

  1. Is this really all that important?
  2. What would happen if I didn’t do this?
  3. What’s the best use of my time right now?
  4. What’s the minimum effort I can commit to finish it, and not use too much precious time? Finally…
  5. Am I properly equipped to do this, or is there someone else who could do it faster, better and cheaper?

Surrender!  It’s all good! Your home will never be perfectly clean. Your lawn will never stay perfectly landscaped. Your car will never stay perfectly shiny and neat. Your wrinkles will keep on comin’ and gravity will keep on pullin’.

You are who you are. You are fine. Do your best. Stop worrying about what others think. Truth is, they aren’t thinking about you! Don’t give yourself too much credit. They are worrying about what YOU think of THEM.

Now – go out and play! It’s Saturday!

Blessings,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

Death of a Policeman

Police have families too

We all call the police when we need help
We all call the police when we need help.

I was married to a police officer. I recall vividly how I stayed awake most nights when he was on Third Watch, praying he would come home safely to me and his four daughters. Whenever people look for scapegoats or targets of their anger, it’s easy to point at the person who gave you a speeding ticket or pulled you over for driving erratically or drunk. But police are not all alike, and the bad ones don’t override the good that millions of officers do every day, 24/7, 365 days of the year. My heart is aching right now for the families, so I need to share something I wrote many years ago in my Walking In A Crowd of Angels book. This was written after two of our police friends were killed. Please think of the families they leave behind when tragedies happen.

~~~~~

Death of A Policeman

Beth Terry (from Walking in a Crowd of Angels)

Her husband died today. She sits in disbelief, numbly working through the words she will say to their 4 year old son. Her hands glide over the arm of the couch where last night her husband sat and caressed her hair. Silently she takes back every angry word ever spoken. She fights to remember just what their last words were. You are supposed to remember your last words. She strains to hear his voice, but only remembers the radio reporting the shooting and the call from his Captain. Something about gang violence and retribution. She bargains with God, “He was just doing his job!” She stares at the ceiling and prays this is just the same bad dream every policeman’s wife has from time to time.

They come in waves. “He was a hero.” “It always happens to the good ones.” “So young…”. The table groans under mounds of food. She can’t eat. He can never eat again, how can she eat? They fumble with awkward silences, foolish advice, “It was probably fast, he probably didn’t feel any pain.” Pain? Is there anything but pain?

Classmates file in. They were recruits together. Slowly the room fills with memories: “When we were at the academy…”, “Do you remember the technical driving drills…”, “He stood up for me…”, “I always knew I could count on him…”, “We said we’d go sailing one day…”. Their aching sadness mixed with guilt; they know it could have been any one of them.  They shake their heads and drift out. At home, they hug their children, suddenly grateful for life, for family, for wives and husbands, for another chance.

The business side of death intrudes. “Did he leave a will?” “Where shall we bury him?” “The department will take care of details.” She walks in a daze to their room and finds the uniform she pressed for him this morning. She checks for the love note in his breast pocket and leaves it there. The officer takes away the last uniform her husband will ever wear.

They all leave and she is alone with her sleeping son. She turns every light on in the house, as if to wait for his return from patrol. She sleeps fitfully, then joins her laughing, young husband in her dreams.

And in houses all across town, moonlight streams down on his fellow officers, sobbing in their sleep as grateful wives and husbands silently say a prayer of thanks for one more day.

~~~~~~

Prayers for all the families involved in the horror that is unfolding across America. Please be respectful of the police officers you meet today. Please don’t make this about gun control. If all the guns in the world were taken away, these criminals would have found a way. “Making good people helpless won’t make bad guys harmless.” Prof. Shane Krauser, ASU

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Death of a Policeman

Police have families too

We all call the police when we need help
We all call the police when we need help.

I was married to a police officer. I recall vividly how I stayed awake most nights when he was on Third Watch, praying he would come home safely to me and his four daughters. Whenever people look for scapegoats or targets of their anger, it’s easy to point at the person who gave you a speeding ticket or pulled you over for driving erratically or drunk. But police are not all alike, and the bad ones don’t override the good that millions of officers do every day, 24/7, 365 days of the year. My heart is aching right now for the families, so I need to share something I wrote many years ago in my Walking In A Crowd of Angels book. This was written after two of our police friends were killed. Please think of the families they leave behind when tragedies happen.

~~~~~

Death of A Policeman

Beth Terry (from Walking in a Crowd of Angels)

Her husband died today. She sits in disbelief, numbly working through the words she will say to their 4 year old son. Her hands glide over the arm of the couch where last night her husband sat and caressed her hair. Silently she takes back every angry word ever spoken. She fights to remember just what their last words were. You are supposed to remember your last words. She strains to hear his voice, but only remembers the radio reporting the shooting and the call from his Captain. Something about gang violence and retribution. She bargains with God, “He was just doing his job!” She stares at the ceiling and prays this is just the same bad dream every policeman’s wife has from time to time.

They come in waves. “He was a hero.” “It always happens to the good ones.” “So young…”. The table groans under mounds of food. She can’t eat. He can never eat again, how can she eat? They fumble with awkward silences, foolish advice, “It was probably fast, he probably didn’t feel any pain.” Pain? Is there anything but pain?

Classmates file in. They were recruits together. Slowly the room fills with memories: “When we were at the academy…”, “Do you remember the technical driving drills…”, “He stood up for me…”, “I always knew I could count on him…”, “We said we’d go sailing one day…”. Their aching sadness mixed with guilt; they know it could have been any one of them.  They shake their heads and drift out. At home, they hug their children, suddenly grateful for life, for family, for wives and husbands, for another chance.

The business side of death intrudes. “Did he leave a will?” “Where shall we bury him?” “The department will take care of details.” She walks in a daze to their room and finds the uniform she pressed for him this morning. She checks for the love note in his breast pocket and leaves it there. The officer takes away the last uniform her husband will ever wear.

They all leave and she is alone with her sleeping son. She turns every light on in the house, as if to wait for his return from patrol. She sleeps fitfully, then joins her laughing, young husband in her dreams.

And in houses all across town, moonlight streams down on his fellow officers, sobbing in their sleep as grateful wives and husbands silently say a prayer of thanks for one more day.

~~~~~~

Prayers for all the families involved in the horror that is unfolding across America. Please be respectful of the police officers you meet today. Please don’t make this about gun control. If all the guns in the world were taken away, these criminals would have found a way. “Making good people helpless won’t make bad guys harmless.” Prof. Shane Krauser, ASU

Be safe,

Beth Terry

© 1998-2016 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Never thought about that… Life happens in moments

Life goes on within you and without you

© 2015 Beth Terry • Life goes on
Life goes on within you and without you

In this moment life is happening all over the world to other people. Your life is both better and worse than theirs. The best thing you can do is live your life the best you know how.

~ In this moment… A new life came into the world

Somewhere else a family found out a loved one has left the planet

~ In this moment… Someone got down on one knee and asked for a hand in marriage

Somewhere else someone tearfully handed a spouse divorce papers

~ In this moment… Someone’s cancer went into remission

Somewhere else someone found out their cancer is terminal

~ In this moment … Parents watched their 5 year old walk into school for the first time

Somewhere else parents stood proudly watching their college student receive a diploma

~ In this moment someone was arrested

Somewhere else someone finished a jail sentence and headed out to a new chance at life

~~~

In each moment there are endings and beginnings happening somewhere. Whether you are at a beginning, an ending, or somewhere in the middle, hang on. Life is always and forever changing.

There will always be people better off and worse off than you.

In this moment, celebrate where you are. Make the most of your life, and learn something. One of my favorite singers, Laura Bell Bundy sang it best:

“I worry about where I am, not where I’m not.”

Be Happy,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved

 

Never thought about that… Life happens in moments

Life goes on within you and without you

© 2015 Beth Terry • Life goes on
Life goes on within you and without you

In this moment life is happening all over the world to other people. Your life is both better and worse than theirs. The best thing you can do is live your life the best you know how.

~ In this moment… A new life came into the world

Somewhere else a family found out a loved one has left the planet

~ In this moment… Someone got down on one knee and asked for a hand in marriage

Somewhere else someone tearfully handed a spouse divorce papers

~ In this moment… Someone’s cancer went into remission

Somewhere else someone found out their cancer is terminal

~ In this moment … Parents watched their 5 year old walk into school for the first time

Somewhere else parents stood proudly watching their college student receive a diploma

~ In this moment someone was arrested

Somewhere else someone finished a jail sentence and headed out to a new chance at life

~~~

In each moment there are endings and beginnings happening somewhere. Whether you are at a beginning, an ending, or somewhere in the middle, hang on. Life is always and forever changing.

There will always be people better off and worse off than you.

In this moment, celebrate where you are. Make the most of your life, and learn something. One of my favorite singers, Laura Bell Bundy sang it best:

“I worry about where I am, not where I’m not.”

Be Happy,

Beth Terry

© 2015 Beth Terry • All Rights Reserved