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"A Moment For You"
by Beth Terry
March 2008
A Moment For You
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Greetings!

You deserve a short break. Take a deep breath, relax those shoulders, and enjoy this "Moment for You."

Terry Reunion in Phx
Do we really know each other?

There's a wonderful scene in "Men in Trees" where one of the characters discovers that Jerome, the local "barfly," actually is an accomplished pianist with several awards and records to his name. He's shown looking through a trunk filled with memories of a career that spanned decades, starting in early childhood. Now he sits, unshaven, in a local bar in Elmo, Alaska.

It reminded me of a story in the Honolulu paper several decades back. A street person had died and they finally located her family, who'd been searching for her for years. She'd been a famous ballerina in her day. Had traveled the world and danced for Royalty. Somehow she lost herself and wandered off.

Over the years and miles, she found a life roving the Hawaiian beaches behind a grocery cart piled with her prize possessions. Among them was a little statuette of a ballerina.

Who are those homeless men on your street corner sporting ragged army jackets adorned with American flags? What happened to them that left them rudderless? What's their real story? Their nightmares of war? Their reason for being where they are today?

For that matter, who is that young mother pushing twins in a double-decker stroller? That businessman racing along with a Bluetooth earpiece stuck to his head? How about that lady you sit next to in church every Sunday? The paperboy? Your neighbor?

We greet people and nod. We drop a few coins into the Salvation Army can at Christmas and barely see the Veteran ringing the bell. We say "hi" to people at work and in our organizations. But do we know them?

When my father died in 1987, I realized at his funeral I really didn't know him that well. Children rarely see their parents as people. We know them in the context of their relationship with us. All eight of us kids were fascinated to hear Dad's colleagues talk about his randy sense of humor, his compassionate heart, his consistent and constant helping hand.

He was just "Dad." The one we went to for advice, and the one who gave it to us whether or not we wanted to hear it. "Mr. Sermon:" The preacher who had a half-hour story for everything. He's the reason my brother David once defined "sermon" for his teacher as "a long and tedious speech."

Last week my youngest brother Tim died. His friends talked about a Tim I didn't know very well: about his wonderful artwork. About his skill as a tile setter. About his sweet side.

The church ladies saw the Tim who helped my mother with her yard at her home in California. My brother David and his wife Pattie remember a good friend they counted on, who created a masterpiece of tile in their bathrooms, on their fireplace, and around their BBQ.

My stepdaughter Alisha remembered the Tim who gently and patiently took an hour to pull splinters from her hands after she picked up a shovel by its worn wooden handle. Everyone had different memories, as we all do about the people in our lives.

We only know each other through our own filter and our own interactions. It's good to celebrate someone else's life by looking at them through the lenses of others. We might learn something about them -- and about ourselves

I realize I often don't know enough about people because I don't ask. It's not that I'm not curious; it's upbringing. In South Dakota I learned that you don't ask people a lot of questions. They might think you're being nosy. And they really didn't want to tell the Pastor's kid anything -- they KNEW it would get back to the good Reverend. Who wants to risk losing their ticket to heaven that way?

Instead of prying, I would just try and figure it out. What I've really figured out in my 56 years? I'm not always right. Good thing to know.

So get to know people before they leave. Find out what makes them tick. What's their story? Set aside old presumptions from age-old interactions and really look at who they are today. This goes especially for family. You might be pleasantly surprised

And remember to take care of yourself,
Beth
The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself.
~Michel de Montaigne, Of Solitude

Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book shown to him by heart, and his friends can only read the title.
~Virginia Woolf

When you die, what will you have stood for?
When you die, what will you be remembered for?
And when you die, will your soul celebrate your life?

Asked of Beth Terry in a dream, by her late father, Rev.CH Terry
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Attn Hawaii Clients and Friends: Beth is planning her May and June speaking trips to Hawaii. Email her directly to get on her schedule!

Keep your fingers crossed! Tyra Banks show has contacted Beth re: her book 101 Ways to Make Your Life Easier. More soon!

Don't forget Beth's book, 101 Ways to Make Your Life Easier is a wonderful graduation / wedding / mother's day gift! It's packed with great advice on living a healthier and happier life. Sure wish I'd known most of this stuff when I was just starting out!
Thanks to my friend Tommy Kono in Hawaii for this wonderful link on Leadership quotes.
Beth
Aloha Beth!
I can't tell you how much I look forward to receiving your monthly "A Moment for You" it really boosts my morale! Hope all is well with you and your ohana too!!
Malama pono & aloha no,
Bob
~~

Hey Beth,
Thank you SO much for the fabulous session you did for us tonight. The best we've ever had on the topic of the business of speaking! Straight to the heart. You da best!
Hugs,
Makana
Xena 200
First I want to tell Beth how sorry I am that she lost her brother. I know how hard it is. Even though I give Lezard a bad time all the time, I would miss the big dope if something happened to him.

And hey - most of you don't know your pets any better than you know your neighbors. Did you know that we all need jobs? And if you don't give us one, we'll assign one to ourselves?

Where I was born, I remember this cat who had assigned herself a job. She was a piece of work. She was the watchcat. Homeland Catscurity -- She'd sit motionless on top this really high bookcase and watch everything. You almost couldn't see her. Her fur was exactly the same color as the wood, and when she squinted her eyes, she disappeared

But if anyone came near her food dish, Yooouuuuwwwwwwl! And in a split second she'd be sittin' on top your head! I would crouch down really small in the corner and watch her. Partly cuz she terrified me, but also cuz it was so funny when one of the other pets in the house got busted! ;-D

All your pets are trying to talk to you. Maybe if you listen really close you'll start to understand us!

We love you!
Hugs,
Xena

Remember to take a little 'me' time once in awhile.

A hui hou, (till we meet again)
Beth and the gang

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc., Phoenix, AZ USA
Beth Terry
Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

phone: 877-672-5008