How about rethinking your holiday traditions? Why do you do what you do over the holidays? Does it make sense? Are you doing it because you always did it? Are you SURE everyone loves it as much as you do? Are you SURE they sit around thinking about how they can't wait to go caroling in the neighborhood or make popcorn leis for the tree?

Everyone, even Martha Stewart this year, has to rethink holiday traditions once in awhile. Although I am sure she has already convinced the guards at the prison to start bringing in their egg cartons so she can make little egg-carton-elves for each of her cellmates.

Try this - make a list of the traditions you have followed in the past. Think about how they turned out. Were people excited? How much work did it take to pull them off? Did they create the desired results? Are these traditions appropriate this year now that [the kids are older or gone from home; you have moved into a new/smaller house; you have moved into a new neighborhood; your financial situation is different; you are caring for aging parents and don't have the time; fill in the blank with your changes…] And then ask, does it make sense to keep doing what you have always done?

Listen to each other when you talk about plans for the holidays. Don't make assumptions. Try something new this year. If you have always cooked a huge holiday meal, consider going out or ordering a ready made dinner. If you have always gone out, try a simpler meal at home. If you have always hosted the party, ask if someone else wants a turn. If you have always bought expensive gifts (and haven't received any acknowledgments) consider giving a gift to the troops in the name of each of your far-flung recipients.

With a big family, I have a lot of wonderful memories about the holidays. The one that stands out is the year my Dad decided we would all go to Catalina for Thanksgiving. We rode the boat across the channel and had a wonderful day wandering around the island. Now that he is gone, one of my favorite memories is Dad standing on the bow of that boat like he was the captain.

Give yourself a break. Carve out some memories and make the holidays a little easier on yourself. It helps the rest of us if you aren't stressed!

Happy Holidays!
Beth